The Manosphere Report

0:01Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

0:03The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

0:12What's up, dog? Joe. Good to see you, my friend.

0:15Same here, man. What's crackalackin'?

0:16Life is good. Happy to be in Austin, Texas.

0:20Happy to have you. Are you doing Kill Tony tonight?

0:23I'll show up at Kill Tony tonight.

0:25Nice. Of course. My guy.

0:28So happy for him. Yeah, he's killing it.

0:30He always talks about us as his early supporters.

0:35Oh, yeah, for sure. I love that guy.

0:37He's the best. I mean, that show is on fire.

0:40It's a fucking runaway train right now.

0:42Everywhere I go, Kill Tony, Kill Tony, Kill Tony.

0:44Love you on Kill Tony.

0:45It's such a fun show.

0:47You know, what a great idea.

0:48Kind of amazing nobody thought it up.

0:51Well, he just kind of put his open mics and his roasts and his personality

0:55and his friends and his built a community.

0:57It's kind of amazing. Oh, it's incredible.

0:59He's the new Johnny Carson.

1:01I mean, think about how many, like, Adam Ray's killing it, selling out giant theaters.

1:04All these guys that, you know, came through that show are fucking destroying now.

1:08This is our tribe, Joe.

1:10I know. I love it.

1:11It's amazing. It's a good time for comedy.

1:14Did I hear that you have a German Shepherd?

1:15No. No, I have a Golden Retriever, and I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

1:21Oh, okay. A little tiny fella.

1:24Somebody told me something different.

1:25No. I love German Shepherds, but I don't have a...

1:27I have a German Shepherd.

1:28They're the best. You have to exercise the shit out of them, though.

1:31Yeah. They need work. She loves to run around and dig and climb and adventures.

1:37They need tasks. They're not like my Golden.

1:39He's just cool, just chilling, laying on his back, getting his belly rubbed.

1:43Oh, I follow him on Instagram.

1:44Don't worry. He's the best.

1:45I look for my mornings with him.

1:47I mean, they're a very low -maintenance dog, and he's trained.

1:51You could train him very easily, but as far as, like, a guard dog and

1:56that kind of... useless. My dog...

2:00My dog can, like, sit, stay, and run around frantically.

2:04I'll be like, run around frantically, and she'll just run around.

2:06Well, they have so much energy.

2:07Those dogs are just designed to work.

2:10I put her to work for two months this summer on Broadway.

2:13She came out at the end of my show and howled with me in the

2:16audience. She can howl on cue?

2:18We taught her... I had the same trainer that did Sandy from the show Annie,

2:23like, from when I was a kid.

2:25Bill Bertoloni, and he's like, I could teach her.

2:27She's like a wild, rescued German shepherd from the desert, and there she was, like,

2:32came out, jumped on a couch, hit her mark, turned to the audience, and we,

2:36like, sang. Oh, that's awesome.

2:39She had her own dressing room.

2:41Nipsey. Her name's Nipsey. And, you know, when the job was...

2:46You know, when the run was over, she was like, no more work?

2:49I need something else to do.

2:50Yeah, they need things to do.

2:52Like, people that just have them and have them in an apartment and don't go

2:55anywhere, like, that's a crazy thing to do to a dog like that.

2:58Aw, look at her. Oh, my God.

3:01Wow. Look how sweet. So she's a rescue dog?

3:03She is. Where'd you find her?

3:05They found her in a bummy breeder in Reno during the pandemic.

3:12I had an old dog.

3:14I had an old senior dog that my ex found on the street, and we

3:20took care of her at the beginning of the pandemic, and the ex left, left

3:25the dog. So it was just me and this old, beat -up street dog for

3:29a few months, and the vet was like, I got another, a puppy, German Shepherd.

3:34Oh, she was a puppy?

3:35This one was, yeah. Oh, that's great.

3:37So now it was like five years ago already, so she's my bestie, and we

3:42do everything. I mean, I just love her to pieces.

3:45Like, I can't, even getting on the plane to come here yesterday, it was a

3:48part of me was like, should I bring her, let her run around the 4C

3:51for a couple days and whatever, but yeah.

3:54It's hard leaving them. It's like I have a kid.

3:57I know. She looks at me, looking for the buzzwords, are we going, are we

4:02staying, are we eating? I know.

4:03They get separation anxiety, big time.

4:06And they get very attached to one person.

4:08Right. Yeah. Right. Like, you're her daddy.

4:10Oh, she's just so sweet.

4:12She just, she'll lay in bed, wait, she never wakes me, rolls over, arms up,

4:18ready to get, she can't start the day without a full belly rub.

4:22Like, I almost like hold her legs and play her like a guitar.

4:26And she just, you know, tongues out, just complete euphoria.

4:30Once a week, I take all her collars off and just rub the neck and

4:34just her eyes start watering.

4:36That's so cute. Highly right.

4:38I never was into dogs.

4:39I'm slightly allergic. My sister got snapped on by a Doberman when we were little.

4:44So I was always a little afraid.

4:47And then it was just kind of forced on me during the pandemic because all

4:50these dogs needed homes. So now here I am.

4:52I'm a freaking doggy daddy.

4:54Oh, I love dogs. I've always had dogs.

4:56I will never not have dogs.

4:58I love them. I love them.

4:59What do you think it is?

5:01It's just like, they're just these amazing creatures that just love the shit out of

5:06you. And especially if you train them from the time they're puppies and you give

5:10them nothing but love. Yeah.

5:11Like, they're so connected to you.

5:13And then, you know, it's just awesome.

5:15You wake up in the morning and it's always positive.

5:18It's always, hello, hello. I wake up with Marshall and he starts whining and whimpering.

5:22And he, like, I do this thing in the morning.

5:24I go, good morning, sir.

5:26Good morning, sir. He's like, whoo, whoo, whoo.

5:29He's wagging his tail and he's rolling around on his back.

5:32And I'm rubbing his belly and he's giving me kisses.

5:35He loves it. He loves it.

5:37He gets so excited to see me in the morning.

5:39It's like his ritual. He knows the ritual's coming.

5:42He's going to get all this love.

5:44Does he sleep in your room?

5:46No. No. My wife is a little bit allergic, so he sleeps outside the room.

5:50Right. But he is, he's just a giant love sponge.

5:54That's what he is. It's like he loves everybody.

5:56Everybody who comes in the house, like, he meet you for the first time.

5:59He's like, I can't believe you're here.

6:01He's just so excited to meet everybody.

6:03My dog checks everybody. She's got to, like, check them out first.

6:07German Shepherd. It's different. And if somebody has.

6:10If the chemical imbalances are a little off, she lets me know.

6:14Oh, yeah, you got screwball friends?

6:15Yeah, well, every now and then, you know, comics will be off their meds, and

6:18they'll come over and be like, I used to know that person, I don't know

6:21that person anymore. The dog just, like, alerts me.

6:23Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, they're very watchful.

6:27You know, they're shepherds. They're protecting you.

6:29They're protecting their daddy. She's funny on the plane, like, I've only flown with her

6:34twice, but once to New York and then once back after we were done on

6:39Broadway, and she's like, it was nine months later, she literally knew how to walk

6:44on the plane, where to go, where her seat was, like, remembers everything like a

6:47person. They're very smart dogs, very smart dogs.

6:50It's one of the reasons why they need someone to exercise.

6:52Like, the dumbest dogs can just lay around and do nothing.

6:55Yeah. But really smart dogs, they need a lot of activity, especially shepherds, because they're

6:59working dogs. If I leave her alone too long, she'll dig up the backyard.

7:03She needs something to do.

7:04Yeah, they get crazy. They're like an athlete.

7:07Yeah. You know, they need work.

7:08They need to go. And they don't need a lot of food.

7:11They don't need a lot.

7:13She's like... What do you feed her?

7:15You know, I used to overfeed her and give her a lot of table scraps

7:18and spoiler, and then I learned more recently that if I keep her to, like,

7:21a cup and a half of kibble a day, the vet recommended...

7:25You should get her on raw food.

7:27Sorry? Raw food or fresh food.

7:28Oh, interesting. Yeah. I used to feed my dogs kibble too.

7:31I had one dog that got cancer, and I read about all these dogs getting

7:35cancer. And, you know, they get fat so easy when you give them kibble.

7:39And it's just because that stuff can sit on a shelf forever.

7:43Yeah. It's like, you wouldn't eat it.

7:44Why are they eating it?

7:45Right. It's not healthy for them.

7:47Sometimes I put a little turkey in the...

7:49Turkey's great. Real food is great.

7:51Real food for your dog is the way to go.

7:54I feed my dog farmer's dog.

7:56It comes frozen. It has to be frozen.

7:58Right. And the way they attack it versus the way they attack kibble...

8:02Like, kibble's like, okay, they're eating.

8:04No big deal. Yeah. But they just can't wait to eat this stuff.

8:07Like, they get excited. Like, the little guy, the little Charlie, he literally leaps up

8:11in the air trying to get to the counter where when I'm putting the food

8:14in his bowl, he gets nuts.

8:16They love it. It's real food.

8:18It's human -grade food for dogs.

8:20I have to check that out.

8:21Oh, yeah. It comes frozen.

8:22And also, they give it to you the right portions for your dog.

8:25Right. So you don't have to think about it.

8:26Like, you put in your dog's weight, what breed your dog is, and, you know,

8:31whether your dog's overweight or not, and they measure it out cowardly, so it's specific

8:35to your dog. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all -in -one

8:39platform for building a website that actually looks legit and helps you stand out online.

8:45And I should know, my site, JoeRogan .com, is powered by Squarespace.

8:50They make it easy to lock down the right domain for your business or project,

8:55and they've got built -in privacy and security tools to keep everything protected.

9:00Head to Squarespace .com slash Rogan to try it out for free.

9:04And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code ROGAN to save 10 %

9:08off your first purchase of a website or domain.

9:11The road to a national champion starts now, and every game matters.

9:16Download the new DraftKings Predictions app and make real money predictions on all the March

9:22tournament matchups. There's always something to predict.

9:25Will a one seed stay dominant?

9:28Will a Cinderella story bust brackets?

9:31Who survives and advances? Make your pick before tip -off or jump in live as

9:37the action unfolds. When the game changes, you can stick with it or change your

9:42position based on what you're seeing on the court.

9:45DraftKings Predictions is a new, easy -to -use app to predict the outcomes of sports

9:50and real -world events now available in California, Texas, Florida, and other states.

9:57Download DraftKings Predictions app today with code ROGAN.

10:00New customers trade $5 and get $50 prediction dollars with the promo code ROGAN.

10:08Don't just feel it, predict it.

10:10With DraftKings Predictions, the crown is yours.

10:13DraftKings Predictions is a CFTC -registered introducing broker.

10:17Event contract trading involves substantial risk of loss.

10:19One per new customer. Often required.

10:21Non -withdrawable predictions dollars expire in one year.

10:24Ends April 6, 2026. Market availability varies.

10:26Eligibility restrictions apply. See terms at dkng .co slash predictions promo.

10:30My dog's weight is good, but I got to get her to stop smoking.

10:34She's just got to stop.

10:34Baga, gaga. You know what?

10:36It's funny. She used to really hate when I light up a joint.

10:39Oh, really? When she was little, she'd run in the other room.

10:41But now she's just like, oh, that's daddy.

10:44Well, she'd probably get a little paranoid.

10:45I used to have a pit bull that she would get paranoid if she was

10:48in the room when we got high.

10:50And I was realizing, oh, this poor dog, she's getting high, too.

10:53She was a rescue dog, too.

10:54I found her. She was covered in maine.

10:56She was so sad. She was eating out of garbage cans.

10:59That's heartbreaking. Yeah, a friend of mine found her, and they took her in for

11:03it. And then they called me, and they said, do you want another dog?

11:05I had one dog already.

11:06I said, absolutely. And as soon as I saw her, I was like, oh.

11:10Yeah. They're good together. It was horrible.

11:11Yeah. It was so horrible.

11:13She was covered in maine.

11:14She had little scabs on her and everything.

11:15It all went away within, like, two months of food.

11:18But that dog, because of living on the street, she could never get enough food.

11:23She was always, like, raiding garbage cans and stuff.

11:25Like, you'd have to lock up the garbage can, strap it down with a bungee

11:28cord. Right. She would tip them over, and she was never full.

11:32Even though she would, like, get fat, she was never full.

11:35Just in case. It was just, you know, she was starving when I found her.

11:41I had the old dog first, and then the young German Shepherd.

11:45So the old one had all these street habits like that.

11:48And she taught him to the young dog.

11:50Like, the young dog walks down the stairs as if she has a broken back

11:55hip. Oh, no. And she learned how to get in the car from an old

11:58dog. So two legs. She could leap right in.

12:00She's a kid. But she still goes two paws up, and I have to pick

12:05her up. Yeah, that's how Marshall does it.

12:07Over -protective like the old dog.

12:09Yeah, Marshall, I think he probably could jump in my car.

12:12But it's like he knows I'll just lift him up because I've done it since

12:16I was a puppy. So we do this little thing.

12:18I go, you ready? He puts his paws up.

12:20I go, one, two, three.

12:21It's always one, two, three, up.

12:23So he gets ready. Do they talk to you?

12:26My dog howls with me in the morning.

12:28No, Marshall only talks when he wants to come inside.

12:31Like, if he's outside, he'll just bark once at the door just to let you

12:34know. He's really good. He's the best dog.

12:37What does his bark sound like?

12:38Boom! Let me in. It's like, hey, I'm out here.

12:42Come on. You know, he's out until he's not.

12:44You know, he's out until he's bored.

12:46And then he just lets you know.

12:47He's not annoying. The old dog, if I had to put her, like, if, like,

12:52a guy came over to work on the house or something, I had to put

12:54her, like, in a bedroom or a bathroom.

12:56She was, you know, a big, big dog.

12:59She would gnaw on the handles.

13:02So I have a house full of, like, chrome door handles that all have, like,

13:07bite marks in it. Like, the bite is amazing.

13:10Yeah, you got to give him things to chew on all the time.

13:13You know, there's chew toys all over my house.

13:16Yeah. Everywhere. My dog has, Marshall has, like, a big box filled with toys.

13:21Yeah. And it was, like, and he just goes in and picks one out.

13:24Yeah. Randomly. Yeah. Depends who it is or not.

13:26I go, what are you going to get?

13:27Which toy? And he's, like, looking around, picks one out.

13:31And then him and the little dog, they play tug of war.

13:33It's adorable. They get a toy.

13:35So they get a lot.

13:36Oh, my God. You knew they'd get along before you got the cycle.

13:39He's the easiest dog to get along with.

13:41He gets along with everything and everybody.

13:44Jamie's got a psycho dog.

13:45Jamie's got this little French bulldog that's, like, a little meat missile.

13:49Yeah. He's a nut. He's great.

13:51He's awesome. Oh, yeah. He's nut.

13:53He's three. Carl. Almost three.

13:54He's two and a half.

13:55He's a little psycho. He's jacked.

13:57He's super jacked. Really? He's like this little French bulldog.

14:00He's just fucking jacked. And him and Marshall just play insane.

14:05It's insane. Like, Carl throws himself through the air at Marshall.

14:09Because he knows that Marshall's, like, super gentle.

14:11Right. And they just play back and forth.

14:12But it's adorable. If a dog is small enough, like a little chihuahua -type dog,

14:18they can put their head inside.

14:21My dog will just open her mouth and let another dog just roll her head

14:24inside her mouth. No instincts.

14:26Yeah. It's crazy. It just wants it to play.

14:28It's just nuts that those used to be wolves.

14:31They've turned wolves into these little tiny things you could carry around.

14:34I mean, in a thousand years, they'll be—are they getting smarter the way humans are

14:39evolving? I wonder. That's a good question.

14:42I wonder. I mean, I think there would have to be a reason for them

14:44to get smarter. You know, some dogs are, like the dogs that are trained, like

14:49a Belgian Malinois. Those are really smart dogs.

14:53You know, those are dog—military dogs.

14:55Yeah. Those dogs, you cannot just leave that dog alone.

14:59No. Like, it's like a shepherd times 10.

15:01Yeah. They look like shepherds, sort of.

15:03But those dogs, they're so intelligent.

15:06Yeah. You know, they are constantly scanning everything and looking for everything.

15:10They know when you're weird.

15:12They know everything. Right. Yeah.

15:13So those dogs have to be smart because they have jobs, you know?

15:17They use them like—those are the dogs they sicced on, like, Osama Bin Laden's crew.

15:21Right, right. You know, they open the door and they breach.

15:24Dogs run in. Incredible. Yeah.

15:26My dog's such a wimp compared to all that.

15:29So is mine. She just wants to play.

15:31Yeah, these are the only dogs that—well, I've had a couple dogs before.

15:33Like, I had a dog that was a Shibu Inu mix, and he was kind

15:37of a pussy. But—and I had a Mastiff before that.

15:41But mostly I've had, like, big guard dogs.

15:44Right. You know, and these are the dogs of—first dogs I've had that are—they're not

15:49guarding shit. Marshall's not guarding— They guard your emotions, buddy.

15:53They guard your emotions. Well, they're just sweet.

15:55They're just sweet. They're just awesome to have.

15:57It's like you just have love around you all the time, and they're never in

16:01a bad mood. There's never a day—he's never had a bad day in his life.

16:04Every day is a great day.

16:06Every day he's happy. Even if you're not there?

16:09Well, he gets sad if I'm not there, for sure.

16:11But, like, I pull out the ball.

16:13It's always the same thing.

16:15It's never like—one day I'm like, maybe he's going to get bored of this fucking

16:17ball. Nope. I pull out that ball.

16:19Oh! Oh! The ball! The ball's out!

16:22Let's go! Bouncing around, wagging his tail, jumping up.

16:27I got a ball. It's got, like, the stick.

16:30Like, it's like a long, curved stick, so you can throw the ball further.

16:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

16:34And, you know, he just starts leaping up towards the stick.

16:37He gets so pumped. I'm like, one day he's going to get bored of this.

16:39Nope. He's nine years old.

16:41He's never gotten bored of it.

16:42When I come up the stairs, if she sees that I have my sneakers on,

16:46she starts stretching like an Olympian.

16:48Let's go! Time to go!

16:51Yeah. Dogs are awesome. People that don't have them, I feel bad for them.

16:54Like, you're missing a lot of love in your life.

16:57Especially, like, people that live alone.

16:59You know, it's like, you always have a friend.

17:01You always have someone you—I talk to my dog.

17:03Like, I have conversations with them.

17:04Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

17:06And does Marshall look you in the eyes when you're talking?

17:09Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a real friend.

17:11Oh, he's, like, the most loving creature I've ever encountered.

17:16Do you tell the dog stuff you wouldn't tell your family or your friends?

17:19No. Sometimes I'm like, hey, Nipsey, man.

17:22I probably shouldn't have said that to her.

17:26She has emotional—like, she knows when I'm happy, sad, nervous, sick.

17:31Mostly it's baby talk. Mostly it's like, oh, it's my buddy.

17:35Yeah. It's my buddy. He watches TV with me.

17:37He climbs up on the couch and sits on my lap.

17:40He puts his head on my lap.

17:41The best. Yeah. And when there's animals on TV, he parks his head up.

17:44Yeah. You know, because it's a big TV.

17:46And so he's like, what the fuck is that?

17:48Is that real? He has to— Right.

17:51When Nipsey first came out from the desert, she was, you know, like six, seven

17:55-month -old, you know, puppy, but still a sizable dog.

17:59A German Shepherd at six months is already like a dog.

18:02And the old dog, which was old, you know, on her deathbed, but wise, streetwise,

18:08she was on the floor and the puppy was up on my bed.

18:12It was her first night in a home.

18:15And I put on TV.

18:17I put on House of Cards.

18:20And it was this daunting kind of scary music.

18:23And the dog's just watching.

18:24And it's like a shadowy figure.

18:26It was Kevin Spacey coming down the hall, his character coming down the hall.

18:29And as this, like, man was revealed full screen on a big screen, Nipsey did

18:35a backflip, fell off the bed, and ran and hid in the closet.

18:40and the old dog nana was like oh boy she had to like pull herself

18:45up at her bad legs and and go in the closet and tell her to

18:48come back out now listen it's tv it's almost time for spring break so maybe

18:56you're headed to the beach or maybe you're taking the kids on a road trip

19:00or maybe you're just taking some extra time for yourself no matter what you deserve

19:04a break and a reset and ag1 can help ag1 is your daily health drink

19:09just one scoop combines your multivitamin pre and probiotics superfoods and antioxidants to help support

19:17a healthy immune system and digestion plus it travels really well so you can start

19:22working it into your routine even when you don't have a routine just slip a

19:26few travel packs into your luggage and have a nice flight i've talked about ag1

19:31for a long time and it's not just me i know a lot of people

19:34enjoy it it's very easy it's very convenient and you deserve to take care of

19:40your health visit drink ag1 .com slash joe rogan and for a limited time get

19:45a bottle of omega -3 vitamin d3 k2 and an ag1 flavor sampler for free

19:52in your welcome kit with your first subscription that's an 111 value at drink ag1

19:59.com slash joe rogan house of cards what a fucking show that oh yeah oh

20:04what a fucking show they never should have done that last season once kevin spacey

20:08got canceled they should have just canceled it was done or you know not right

20:13such a good fucking show that's a great show it's crazy i saw him he

20:18was in israel doing some weird thing where he was like doing like a song

20:24and dance routine in a small club recently like he's been kind of reduced to

20:30doing that for money is that reduced or is that part of the comeback you

20:36got to start i don't know i mean it's something i mean i guess he's

20:39just making money you know he's completely bankrupt he lost everything it's crazy show business

20:47it's that well it's not just show business right it's uh it's also what did

20:52you do you know what'd you get caught for he got you know he was

20:56an old school dick grabber a lot of old school guys no one really likes

21:00that getting their dick grabbed like that some gay guys do i think i think

21:06what he did probably worked on some guys you know what i'm saying right like

21:11gay guys have a whole different way of interacting with each other that we don't

21:16have but i think with spacey it was like some of those fellows were young

21:21and that's the problem power it's power it's like in the gay community there's a

21:28lot of guys that think it's okay for young gay guys who are under age

21:33to uh hook up with older gay guys it's a that's like milo yiannopoulos remember

21:41him he actually talked about that on my show he was talking about when he

21:44was 14 he hooked up with this this older guy and he's like trust me

21:49i was the predator he was like saying that he was going after the guy

21:52i was like all right but it's different in their eyes i mean i'm just

21:57speaking for gay guys that i've talked to it's different in their eyes than you

22:01know an adult male and a young female right you know but kevin spacey's a

22:07fucking unbelievable actor that fucking house of cards was so good it was so good

22:14such a good show i'm glad it's still out there you know because it was

22:18so good it made me miss and re -watch west wing that's how good it

22:22was i haven't i never watched that i think i maybe watched one or two

22:26episodes it's like an idealistic version of what politics could be right martin sheen is

22:33like the president we wish we had like a really solid time ago but he's

22:38also controversial he's hiding a medical thing it like we got way ahead of a

22:42lot of the modern day stories oh like biden yeah yeah and uh his wife's

22:49a doctor so she's helping him well we always have these idealistic ideas of who

22:54we want to be our leader and the thing about the kevin spacey character was

22:58like that's probably more realistic like that guy is more realistic like well as we

23:06get older we understand you got to be cutthroat to make it there's got to

23:10be a certain killer instinct in a president you're also most likely deeply compromised by

23:16the time you get into office which is the only way you navigate those worlds

23:20like everybody's compromised everybody's gone to that eyes wide shut party right i couldn't get

23:27in just for the record yeah me neither uh i don't want to get in

23:32i know that's a good thing a dog can kind of save your career because

23:36like you get invited to some wild sex party you'll be like i got it

23:39my dog's been waiting for me for five hours sorry i i can't go yeah

23:42meanwhile it's better to just hang out with your dog you'll have a better time

23:45and you won't feel gross in the morning i guess but i think a lot

23:49of people are sociopaths they probably don't even feel gross ever i was out all

23:52weekend for the fanatics football stuff with travis scott's djing the three in the morning

23:58what is the fanatics football stuff they had a flag football tournament in la it

24:02was supposed to be in in riad and they had to move it to la

24:04tom brady and and uh and the fanatics uh what's the fanatics it's like uh

24:11i guess it's a branding company they do all the jerseys they do all the

24:14oh um michael rubin and michael ratner two friends of mine did this flag football

24:21game and i was just partying i just took the weekend off and i'm like

24:25seeing all the football players and and it was just so much fun and then

24:29just as the party's really getting hot i'm like i miss my dog i'm going

24:34home yeah there's always this thing in the back of your head like i gotta

24:38get home he's been home alone for five hours he's been home alone for six

24:42hours i'm thinking about him he has to pee he's a good boy he's not

24:45gonna pee in the house but he's probably holding it in upset yeah isn't it

24:52nuts like people People think, especially comics, you know, we want to be up late,

24:57getting drunk, fucking off, being retarded, doing drugs.

25:02You know what, you just want to get home.

25:03Yeah. Want to get home, chill out, relax, watch TV.

25:07I feel like if I had a dog when I was starting out in comedy,

25:10I would have been more disciplined.

25:12I would have been coming home instead of staying out all night.

25:14I kind of regret that a little bit.

25:16You regret staying out all night?

25:18Well, I mean, you know, you know how it is, you do your set, you

25:22start hanging out in the club, in the comedy club, and drinking or eating or

25:26whatever. But there's a certain, I don't know, you go home and you're up earlier,

25:32you get more done the next day.

25:33Oh, absolutely. Well, it's just you feel better.

25:36It's hard to leave when you're having fun.

25:39You know, it's also you feel like you're a part of a different society, society

25:44of people who don't have a regular job.

25:45You got freedom, you're your own boss.

25:49I grew up, I lost my parents as a teenager.

25:52So I live every day like I could die tomorrow.

25:56So I never want to leave.

25:58I have ultimate FOMO all the time.

26:00I never want to miss an event, a party.

26:02I went to the Super Bowl.

26:03I went to All -Star Weekend.

26:05I want to go to the Grammys.

26:07I love life. I want to make the most out of it all the time.

26:11It works against me sometimes, I think.

26:13That's interesting, right? It's the plus side of experiencing loss when you're young.

26:17You really want, you really relish life.

26:21You want to make the most out of it.

26:23You want to enjoy it while it's here.

26:25Yeah. Yeah. One of the things I say on my show is I learned early

26:30on human beings were made to mourn and move on.

26:34You can't mourn forever or a part of you dies, and that's not fair.

26:38Right. So it gave me this sort of zest for living.

26:42You take that loss as a young person, you're afraid at any second.

26:47It's hard to make long -term plans.

26:50Are your parents still alive?

26:51Mm -hmm. Yeah. It's an amazing, amazing blessing.

26:55And sometimes when you lose people young, you're afraid, you live in the constant fear

27:00that it's all going to fall apart.

27:02Yeah. I've lost a lot of friends.

27:04Like, sometimes I look at my contact list when I get a new phone, you

27:09know, and you're swapping over contacts, and I'm like, oh, fuck.

27:13You know, I've got, like, 20 dead people on my contact list.

27:16Some of them I just keep in there, you know.

27:19I got old phones where, like, Bourdain was texting me.

27:22I just kept the phone.

27:23I'm like, I'm never throwing this phone away.

27:26You know, it's a bunch of friends who are just gone.

27:28I look at Bob Saget's texts all the time.

27:30I listen to Gilbert Gottfried's voicemails.

27:33Yeah. I know what you mean, yeah.

27:35It just brings me right back to them.

27:38Those two guys, those are two tough ones.

27:40Those are two really tough ones.

27:42Well, there's that famous picture of me, Norm, Gilbert, and Bob that Adam Egat took

27:47at Joan's Restaurant in Hollywood, and I show that in my special, and I talk

27:55about each one, do, like, a tribute to Norm.

27:59I do a tribute to Gilbert, whose family is a big part of my family

28:03now. His kids are great kids.

28:04His daughter goes to school here in Texas, in Austin, and there it is.

28:08There it is. And Bob, who just became a grandfather.

28:14So they left quite a legacy, those guys, and I really loved them, and they

28:18would make me laugh. You know, I would just set them up, and they would

28:21go, and I would laugh until I was dying laughing.

28:24Fucking Norm. What a legend.

28:26The king. He's such a great guy, too.

28:29Yeah. He was so funny, too.

28:31And his clips, I don't know if it's my algorithm or what, but you would

28:35think Norm is making comedy content every day if you looked at my algorithm.

28:39Well, mine, too. I think a lot of people.

28:41So, like, people just share them because, you know, he had so many funny things

28:44to say about everything. It's such a unique perspective.

28:48Just an unusual state of mind.

28:52He was the best. He was the best.

28:54I have a theory that Canadians.

28:56I'm from New Jersey, so I feel like New Jersey, I grew up as an

29:00outsider to New York. We had to root for New York sports teams.

29:05We had to listen to New York radio stations as a kid, TV stations.

29:08And Canada has that with America.

29:12Right. So, I think they always feel like, comedians feel like outsiders a little bit.

29:16I feel like Canadians kind of have that.

29:19Harland. He's Canadian. I mean, Canadian comedians, you could go all day.

29:23Tom Green. Yeah. Yeah. Jim Carrey.

29:26Jim Carrey. A lot of Canadians.

29:28Caroline Ray. A lot more.

29:33John Candy, right? Yeah. John Candy was a Canadian.

29:37Yeah. Martin Short. Was he?

29:40Is he? He is. I think so.

29:43He's still with us. Those SCTV people.

29:45That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Martin Short is, he had a rough month.

29:50He lost somebody very close to him, but he's still one of the funniest people

29:55in the world. Oh, he was brilliant.

29:57All those fucking crazy characters.

30:00Oh, my God. I was at a birthday party once.

30:04It was like Paul Rudd's 50th birthday party years ago.

30:07And I remember, everybody was like, let's do karaoke.

30:10And everybody wanted to start.

30:11Everybody was too shy to do karaoke first.

30:14And Martin Short walked up to the mic, belted out a Sinatra song, dropped the

30:20mic, and walked out to the valet and left.

30:23Just kicked it off and went.

30:25Fly me to the moon.

30:27And he was gone. It's weird when you get older and you realize how many

30:33guys have passed. Like, Patrice comes up in my algorithm all the time.

30:39And, you know, you just watch old clips.

30:42I went on a binge a few months back of him on Opie and Anthony.

30:46Yeah. Just fuck. Ruthless. He would have been the number one podcast in the world

30:51if he was alive today.

30:53Patrice? Yeah. If he had a podcast.

30:55Because he probably would have.

30:57He probably would have. I mean, it's a perfect normal transition from Opie and Anthony

31:00to podcasting. Right. He would have probably had the best podcast in the world.

31:05Except the guests would never get to talk at all.

31:07Yeah, it wouldn't matter. He would be dressing them down.

31:12He always had the funniest...

31:14Patrice's greatness at the Charlie Sheen roast I always talk about is...

31:18Oh, yeah. He went on last, and he was like...

31:22We booked him late. He never wanted to do a roast.

31:26And he said, I don't know this one, I don't know that one.

31:28And finally I called him one day.

31:29I go, we're roasting Charlie Sheen.

31:32He goes, oh. He goes, I don't know Charlie Sheen, but I think I could

31:36do that. I go, you know him.

31:38You don't know him, but you know what he...

31:41And he goes, all right, I'm coming.

31:44He dresses total rock star, like a leather suit, like this whole fantasy Patrice in

31:52his head. And then the day of the show, he's complaining about his material.

31:56He's like, I don't know all these writers.

31:57They don't know me. This isn't me, blah, blah, blah.

31:59I go, Patrice, fuck all that.

32:01Pay attention and roast the roast.

32:04Just roast the roast. Just make mental notes, clock it all, let them see you

32:09taking it in, and then just go on and talk about what you just saw.

32:12And that's what he did.

32:13No, it was brilliant. Did you see Charlie Sheen's Netflix documentary?

32:18I haven't. It's fucking great, man.

32:20It's crazy. It's crazy. Like, he talks about everything.

32:25He talks about the first time he smoked crack, a girl's giving him a blowjob

32:28when he smoked crack. How else are you supposed to do it?

32:31He said it's the best experience he's ever had.

32:33He says he's never topped it.

32:35Wow. Yeah. Wow. Makes you want to try it.

32:39Makes you, like, think, maybe.

32:42He was a fascinating guest, too, having him in here.

32:45It's like, that guy's been through so much shit, and he's okay.

32:50You know, it's like, how is he alive?

32:53You know? Some people are just different, right?

32:55Tiger blood? I was on tour with him that whole time.

32:58That's right. That's right. You were doing that thing with him.

33:01So what happened was when he got kicked off of Two and a Half Men,

33:05and he went kind of kooky, he decided to do this whirlwind tour.

33:09Right. And the first one he did, he tried to go and just wing it.

33:12Torpedo of truth. Yeah. That's what he called it.

33:14The winging it one did not work.

33:16No. But then when he started doing it with you, and he did it with

33:18Russell, Russell Peters did a bunch of them with him.

33:21Uh -huh. With comics, it actually worked.

33:24Because, like, he would have someone to bounce stuff off of, and they knew how

33:28to be entertaining and keep the flow going.

33:31Right. Yeah. And then you got into those stories, and it was amazing.

33:35Yeah. It totally turned around.

33:37The first one I did was in Atlantic City, and he called me the night

33:41before. And I was in L .A.

33:45at a party, and everyone was like, yeah, yeah, go do it, go do it.

33:49So I caught a, like, 6 a .m.

33:51flight. He called you the night before?

33:52What did he say? He's like, my shows aren't going good.

33:55I didn't know him. He goes, you know, like, all these different people keep telling

33:59me, Simon Rex, you know, other friends of his kept saying, Jeff Ross could come

34:03out and roast you and save this.

34:06So I just wrote jokes all night, you know, left the party, wrote jokes, caught

34:10a 6 a .m., flew.

34:11I walk into his dressing room, like, an hour before.

34:14Chuck Zito is literally staring me down, going, don't be too mean to my guy.

34:18You know, like, they're just trying to scare me.

34:20And I'm like, I'm here to, like, I'm a comedian, you know.

34:24And Charlie was really cool, and I told his road manager, he goes, what do

34:30you need? I go, I need a podium to roll out, big arenas.

34:35I want to make it like a show.

34:36And I need a hazmat suit, because he'd been bombing for, like, a week every

34:41single night. I'm going to come out.

34:42I go, I heard there's a bomb scare.

34:44I roll out. It's Jersey, so it's my crowd.

34:47And I just start roasting him.

34:49And it went well. And I was like, if you're winning, because he's always like,

34:52winning, winning. I'm like, if you're winning, something's wrong with the fucking scoreboard.

34:56Like, old Jeff with hair, duh, winning.

35:03Look at that. Boy, he looks so skinny.

35:06Ooh, that's a look of a guy who does coke.

35:09Look how ripped he is.

35:10Jesus. Oh, man. He was up all night.

35:14We had, he was like.

35:16So he was still partying hard back then.

35:18You know, it's hard to say.

35:19Had to be. He didn't let me see that side of it.

35:22I'm sure he was. There's no chance he was clean.

35:26Warlock. Oh, that's right. He was a warlock.

35:28A warlock with tiger blood.

35:30Right. Violent Torpedo of Truth tour.

35:33Kicks off in Detroit. TV star is booed off stage.

35:38Yeah. So then after that, they kept calling and going, you do this date.

35:42You do that date. It was like more money than I'd ever made for a

35:45one -nighter. So I just started getting on the bus and the plane with him.

35:49How many dates did you guys do?

35:50I wound up doing eight.

35:53This episode is brought to you by Tommy John.

35:56A lot of people are trying to feel better day -to -day, clearer heads, better

35:59routines, just making small changes that actually improve how you feel.

36:03One thing people don't really think about is comfort.

36:07If your underwear isn't right, you're adjusting all day, you don't even realize how much

36:12that pulls at your attention.

36:14I love Tommy John because their stuff is very comfortable, so comfortable you barely feel

36:19it. No adjusting, no chafing, no riding up.

36:21You honestly just kind of forget you're even wearing it.

36:23And when those little annoyances disappear, you're not distracted.

36:28Their briefs, boxer briefs, and undershirts move with you.

36:31They're super lightweight, and they hold up whether you're working, traveling, or just hanging out.

36:36It's one of those small upgrades that actually makes a noticeable difference every single day.

36:40Look, with over 30 million pairs sold, there are thousands of people wearing Tommy John

36:46right now who are way more comfortable than you.

36:49Don't settle. Upgrade. I upgraded my day with Tommy John, and you should, too.

36:55Go to TommyJohn .com slash Rogan right now and experience comfort perfected.

36:59Save 25 % off your first order with code ROGAN.

37:03That's TommyJohn .com slash Rogan.

37:06This episode is brought to you by LifeLock.

37:09It's tax season, and by now, I know we're all a bit tired of numbers.

37:14But here's an important one for you to hear.

37:17$16 billion. That's how much money in refunds the IRS...

37:22... as flagged for possible identity fraud.

37:25Here's another. One in four honest, hardworking, taxpaying Americans have been a victim of identity

37:33theft. But it's not all grim news.

37:36LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second for your personal information and alerts you

37:43to threats you could easily miss on your own.

37:46If your identity is stolen, LifeLock's U .S.-based restoration specialist will fix it, backed by

37:53another good number, the million -dollar protection package.

37:57In fact, restoration is guaranteed or your money back.

38:02Don't face identity theft and financial losses alone.

38:05There's strength in numbers with LifeLock identity theft protection for tax season and beyond.

38:11Visit LifeLock .com slash J -R -E and save up to 40 % your first

38:18year. That's 40 % off at LifeLock .com slash J -R -E.

38:25Terms apply. And Russell, how many did he do?

38:28I don't know. I don't know.

38:29So he just had different comics.

38:31Who else did it? I don't remember anyone else but me.

38:33So that's news to me that Russell did.

38:35Yeah, Russell did a few.

38:36At least one I know of.

38:38There might have been some in Canada I didn't do.

38:40Well, Russell's really good off the cuff.

38:42You know, Russell's great working the crowd.

38:44I think Russell interviewed him.

38:46I think Russell, like you said.

38:49That's how he did it?

38:49Yeah, I think that's how he did it.

38:51Because now it occurs to me that he had interviewers on some of them.

38:54And he had a radio guy.

38:56And I think maybe Russell might have done a Canadian date.

38:58That's a smart way to do it.

39:00Have someone who's smart and quick just interview.

39:03Because the stories are so bananas.

39:05Yeah. All you need is the stories.

39:07Right. And he was so open about stuff, talking about how much crack he would

39:11smoke. Oh, yeah. You know, it was just so insane.

39:14And everybody was so happy that someone was, instead of hiding from the fact that

39:19they fucked their life up, they were like celebrating that they were off the rails.

39:24And everyone was like, yeah, tiger blood.

39:27I remember even Diego Sanchez, who was fighting in the UFC, was saying he had

39:31tiger blood. That's how popular it was getting.

39:36Yeah. He was a thing.

39:39Yeah. It was a thing.

39:40But it was a new thing, right?

39:41It was a movie star who had gone off the rails and was like celebrating

39:45it and being open and honest interviews about prostitutes, cocaine, chaos, everything, all of the

39:53above. Yeah. It was a totally new experience for the general public.

39:57Because before, if someone had an addiction problem, it was like, oh, so sad.

40:01Right. He was doing coke.

40:03And, you know, my life had fallen apart.

40:05And then I found Jesus.

40:06Right. You know, it's like always one of those things.

40:08He wasn't on an apology tour.

40:10He went on a fuck you tour.

40:11Yeah. A hundred percent. And no one had ever done that before.

40:14No one had ever done a fuck you tour before.

40:17I mean, it was a little ill -advised, the first ones, you know, when he

40:21went on by himself. Like, that was a terrible idea.

40:23Right. You can't just wing it.

40:25And when you're on coke, you think you could do anything, you know?

40:28Or he would take questions, but there's 15 ,000 people yelling at him.

40:32Right. If you're going to take questions, it would have to be a person who's

40:36a moderator. Right. Who has a microphone and talks to another person and is there

40:41so they can keep it from going off the rails in a line of people?

40:44You can't just have people yelling out things in the audience.

40:47One night, somebody wanted his money back and he brought the guy up and gave

40:52him his money back. And then, of course, like 400 people stood up like, I

40:56want my money back. Oh, no.

40:58He would get it. He would hear the audience too much.

41:01Yeah. Well, no experience with that kind of stuff.

41:04Right. If you think you could just do live audience and deal with 15 ,000

41:09people's different personalities, then you don't know what that's like.

41:12Right. Good luck. No, we wound up doing eight shows and I would always roast

41:16him. So by the eighth show, I had 20 minutes of Charlie Sheen material.

41:20Every city, I'd add jokes.

41:22So that's when I was like, why don't we just do this on TV?

41:24I mean, we have the roast and then we did the Comedy Central roast.

41:28Nice. Patrice and all that.

41:30And Mike Tyson was at that one.

41:32It's a really interesting career arc.

41:34Well, if you know his story, he was on the set of Apocalypse Now with

41:38his father when he was 10.

41:40Right. And then 10 years later, he was doing, what was the fucking movie?

41:46His fucking big war movie.

41:48Jesus Christ. Platoon. Platoon. He was doing Platoon when he was 20.

41:52Yeah. Which is nuts. 10 years later.

41:55Yeah. I mean, he's doing the next iconic war movie.

41:58Right. And he's a 20 -year -old kid and then all of a sudden, he's

42:02a fucking superstar. He was great in that movie.

42:06And he's just off the rails.

42:07Just like no restrictions. He's rich.

42:10He's young. He's handsome. He's just going crazy.

42:13Yeah. Doing drugs. But he made it through it all.

42:17That's what's nuts. I got to check that doc out.

42:19It's great. He's a great interview, too.

42:22Like having him on the podcast was fucking great.

42:24He's a really nice guy.

42:26He's very cool and honest about it all.

42:29Oh, yeah. You know, and he's also like, hey, you know, I can still act.

42:32Like how about I fucking paid my dues.

42:35I've been sober for seven years.

42:36Like give me a shot.

42:37Yeah. He can still act.

42:39He's a good actor. I hope someone does do something like that.

42:42Because I feel like if one big movie came along, like maybe Tarantino could put

42:47him in because he's the master at reviving careers.

42:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what he did with Travolta and Pulp Fiction.

42:53Pulp Fiction, like Travolta was dead on the operating table in his career before Pulp

42:59Fiction. Pulp Fiction came along and boom, he's back.

43:02Because they realized like, oh, shit, John Travolta can fucking act.

43:07And that role was perfect for him.

43:09Vince, he played this crazy hit man with Samuel Jackson.

43:13The best. Fucking what a movie.

43:15I watch it all the time.

43:16Yeah, it completely revived his career.

43:19Yeah, he's the, like, Quentin Tarantino is like the master of seeing things that other

43:23people don't see. You know, he's like, that guy's still great.

43:27Yeah. And I think that's like the case with Charlie.

43:29Like someone's got to come along and see and just go, I just need to

43:33get him a role where he just can really.

43:37He'll really sink his teeth into it, and he'll fucking kill it.

43:40Especially now, at this stage of his life, where he knows how important it is,

43:44he'll throw himself into it.

43:46Right. It'll be fucking amazing.

43:48Well, like, some people don't act for a long time, and then look what Sean

43:51Penn just did. And he came back after God knows how long and just did

43:55this totally iconic, unrecognizable, strange character.

43:59I didn't see that movie.

44:01I've heard all these mixed reviews.

44:02Whatever. It's interesting to see Sean's take on this soldier.

44:08Look, Sean Penn's out of his fucking mind, but that's the kind of guy that

44:12makes a great actor. He's a great actor.

44:14Ditch the Oscars to go see.

44:16Yeah, go to Ukraine. So cool.

44:17Go hang out. Go hang out with my boy Zelensky and do coke.

44:24Do that pure Russian coke.

44:27I like how you think that's what they were doing.

44:29I'm just guessing. I'm just taking a wild guess.

44:32But that guy, I mean, how about him?

44:34Like, goes and fucking meets the drug lord.

44:37What's his name? What's wrong with my brain today, Jamie?

44:40What the fuck's his name?

44:41The dude he met in Mexico.

44:43The guy who got arrested?

44:44El Chapo. El Chapo. Thank you.

44:46Went down and met El Chapo, and that's how El Chapo wound up getting arrested.

44:50Right. He wanted to meet Sean Penn.

44:52Sean Penn's like, all right, I'll go meet.

44:53He wrote an article for, like, Rolling Stone.

44:55He, like, was a journalist.

44:57Right. I remember. I mean, like, what fucking movie star goes down and meets El

45:02Chapo? By the way, that shirt, Conor McGregor bought a shirt that's, like, exactly like

45:11that shirt and recreated that pose with, I forget who he shook hands with.

45:17But it was, like, this, like, funny inside joke that a lot of people didn't

45:20catch. It's like, why is he wearing that shirt?

45:22And people realize, oh, my God, he's wearing an El Chapo shirt.

45:25Oh, my God. He bought a similar shirt.

45:29He's, like, literally doing that.

45:32Oh, my gosh. So silly.

45:34He dressed as gangster El Chapo.

45:35He's literally doing the thing.

45:37But he did it on purpose.

45:40Nuts. Nuts. I mean, it takes insane balls to be a world -famous actor and

45:47decide, I'm going to go meet a drug lord in Mexico and write an article

45:53for Rolling Stone. He's an adventurer.

45:55I guess. Acting's a part of him.

45:58Not all of him. I mean, he must be.

46:00I mean, he's in fucking Ukraine.

46:01Like, what does he do?

46:02I remember being at a party, Eddie Vedder's birthday party, and Sean Penn walked in

46:06with Stormy Daniels. Like, he has friends from the most diverse places.

46:12That's funny. Zelensky, Stormy. Have you seen Kyle Dunnigan's face swap things with Trump and

46:19Stormy Daniels? So funny. Oh, my God.

46:21They're so funny. So funny.

46:23Kyle Dunnigan. He's another guy that got revived by Kill Tony or, like, really got

46:28the world got to see him.

46:30Like, we did. We covered his face swap videos a bunch of times on the

46:34podcast and blew them up.

46:36But to see him as these characters, like, when he plays RFK Jr., when he

46:41plays Elon, like, that is what really, like, kicked off Kyle's career.

46:46You know? Dude, his RFK is so fun.

46:50His Elon's so good. That's when he first started doing the face swap.

46:54This is the best. My text chain's always sharing his stuff.

46:57His Bill Maher. His Bill Maher's amazing.

47:00You know, I tried to play...

47:01I just guess his jokes are funny about it.

47:02I tried to play the Bill Maher impression with Bill Maher when he was in

47:06here. He goes, if you play it, I'll leave.

47:08Why does he care? I don't...

47:10Because he doesn't hang out with comics enough.

47:13He's out there doing his show, hanging out with political people, being all serious.

47:17It's like, you kind of forget.

47:18He just wants to be a, what do you call it, a contrarian.

47:21I was on his podcast, and, like, he literally...

47:25He just wanted to fight about anything.

47:27I go, the Ramones are great.

47:28He's like, no, they're not.

47:30I'm like, all right, man.

47:33How did he say rock and roll high school's not great?

47:35Come on, son. The look, the crazy hair.

47:38All of it. The Ramones is one of the greatest.

47:40The Ramones ruled. They were ruled.

47:43Never had a song over two minutes and five seconds.

47:45How can you say they're not great?

47:47It's nice to go see them in college, man.

47:49You don't have to like it.

47:50You got to admit, there's a reason why people love them.

47:54Right. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

47:57Yeah, man. People are so weird when they want to say something sucks.

48:02Like, I was having an argument with someone, and there's, like, Taylor Swift's all dumb

48:05music. I go, no, it's not.

48:06It's not. She's got some great songs.

48:09No Body, No Crime, a great fucking song.

48:11By the way, I respect anybody who writes their own music and produces their own

48:15music. Also, it's like, do you think you're smarter than everybody who loves her?

48:20Like, she's literally got more fans than anybody alive, and you think they're all wrong?

48:24That's kind of crazy. Like, you don't have to like it.

48:27You don't have to like it.

48:29But there's, like, people have closed minds.

48:32I met her at an Oscars party last weekend, and she introduced us.

48:36I was talking to Travis.

48:37She was, I was talking to Travis for a few minutes, and she said, hi,

48:40I'm Taylor. And, you know, I was a little starstruck, because, I don't know, musicians

48:44are the last thing for me.

48:46Like, I really respect. And she was super cool, man.

48:50And she was really cool, actually.

48:51And I told her that I went to her Aeros show.

48:54Did you really? She said she watches the roasts.

48:56Oh, that's funny. It was pretty cool, actually.

48:59That's awesome. I wonder when they make love if they wear helmets, those two.

49:03Why do you think they wear helmets?

49:04Just saying. It's got to be wild.

49:07You think it will? Travis and Taylor.

49:09Maybe it's all sweet and passionate.

49:10Maybe. I hope so. That's what I think.

49:13You have your fantasies. I have mine.

49:18Shoulder pads, cleats. Yeah. Going for it on AstroTurf.

49:22He's a nice guy. Is he?

49:23Has he been in here?

49:24No, never met him. He'd be a good dude.

49:25Good dude? Yeah. It's interesting when people are public, like a public relationship like that.

49:32They're two super famous people.

49:34It's like, that's a lot of pressure.

49:36And then you're putting it all out there in the world.

49:38And like, everybody's judging you.

49:40Like, it's hard enough to keep a relationship together.

49:43But keep a relationship together when you have to field everyone's opinions of you.

49:47Especially like Taylor Swift. Because how many fucking songs does she have about ex -boyfriends?

49:51Right. It's like, jeez, if you break up with her, the fucking diss track of

49:55the universe is coming your way.

49:57Yeah, right. Kendrick Drake, fuck that.

50:00Just don't break up with Taylor.

50:02Exactly. Yeah. But it's just like you're doing it in front of the world and

50:06you're inviting all of the shittiest people in the world to have their opinions about

50:10you. It's like, blech. It's a lot of pressure.

50:13Look at frickin' Timberlake this weekend.

50:15That really pissed me off.

50:16What happened? They released a two or three year old video of him getting a

50:20DUI. Yeah. Oh, I did see that.

50:22Why does that need to be out there?

50:24How is that a legal thing to take like a video of someone being arrested?

50:30Like, why is that? Because he's a public figure?

50:33Why isn't that private? I don't understand.

50:36And there was nothing outrageous about it.

50:38They're just hassling this guy and bringing up old news.

50:41It really bugged me. I mean, there was nothing outrageous about it.

50:45I mean, he was very calm and relaxed.

50:47And, you know, they arrested him for DUI.

50:49They, you know, they asked him a few questions.

50:52There was nothing about it that was, you know, like, oh, look at Justin Timberlake.

50:56He's off the rails. He's acting crazy.

50:59It was like he had a few drinks.

51:01Yeah. Probably shouldn't have drove.

51:03Drove. Got caught. That's it.

51:05Right. It happens to a lot of people.

51:06Yeah. And whatever. Just because he's famous or whatever.

51:09He wasn't acting like an asshole.

51:10He didn't do anything terrible.

51:12And, you know, and everybody wants like, oh, look at him.

51:15He got caught. Right. You have so much money and you still got caught.

51:19Right. You know, obviously get a driver, dude.

51:22You know, you're going to get drunk.

51:24Right. It's not that hard.

51:25He was tooling around the Hamptons.

51:26They thought he was fine.

51:27Yeah, that's probably it, right?

51:29That's where all the rich people drink and drive.

51:32Well, I don't get having to torture somebody by releasing the video.

51:36Well, I mean, all he has to do is just not be online for a

51:40few days and it'll go away.

51:41But it's like, why is it okay to release that?

51:44Why is that a public record thing?

51:47Unless there's like some, even if there's a case, that should be something that gets

51:52released in court. No, they release it as a public information.

51:56What? Right. Why? I don't know.

51:58Why? Because he sings? Because we live in a cruel fucking world.

52:01That's why. Yeah. We live in a place where people enjoy cruelty.

52:06They enjoy, well, it's like, you look at him, you know, he's like super famous,

52:10married to, what's her name?

52:11What was he married to?

52:12Jessica Biel? Jessica Biel. Beautiful woman.

52:14Yeah. Right? He's got this perfect life.

52:16He's rich. He's famous. He can dance.

52:18He can sing. He's tall.

52:19He's handsome. He's a star when he was young.

52:22Fuck that guy. You know, that's how everybody is.

52:24Like, oh, look, he was drunk.

52:26Yeah, yeah. Bitch, you've been drunk before too.

52:28Shut the fuck up. Right.

52:29And if you haven't, fuck you.

52:31If you've never been drunk, fuck you.

52:33Unless, like, your dad was an alcoholic and, you know, understanding circumstances.

52:39But it's like, why is that something that people aren't?

52:42I saw it. It came across my news feed, and I looked at it for

52:46a few seconds. I was like, there's nothing outrageous about this.

52:48Did you see Alan Richman, though?

52:50No. The guy who plays Reacher?

52:52He beat the fuck out of some guy in front of some kids today?

52:57Oof. Yeah. Or yesterday? It was crazy.

53:00That guy's a giant dude.

53:02You know that show Reacher?

53:03Yeah, I heard of it.

53:04He's fucking huge and jacked, and he was riding dirt bikes, and he got in

53:10some altercation with his neighbor, and someone filmed it.

53:12And, you know, he's all this hulking guy, and I don't know what the circumstances

53:16were. Maybe the guy deserved it.

53:19Maybe the guy was a piece of shit.

53:20Maybe the guy came after him first.

53:22But all you see in the video is him beating this guy up.

53:26And, you know, he's fucking this tank of a man.

53:29He's huge. He's like 250 pounds.

53:31And he's beating some guy's ass.

53:33And then he gets back on his motorcycle.

53:35And he's doing it in front of kids, too, which is kind of crazy.

53:39Violence. Well, it's also, it's like, why you...

53:42I don't know what happened, so I don't really want to comment on the extenuating

53:46circumstances. According to the TMZ article.

53:48Right. He was pushed off the bike by the man.

53:50Oh, the guy pushed him off the bike.

53:53Okay. Well, then that guy's just trying to get it.

53:57You want to see the video?

53:58Let's watch the video. So watch the video.

54:00Like, so this is after he already beat the guy's ass.

54:07I don't, I'm not going to show it.

54:08So he's punching the dude.

54:11Well, that other guy's a big guy, too.

54:14He might have just had a dicky neighbor.

54:16Boy, neighbors, and like, especially if you've got a homeowner's association, there's some fucking shitheads.

54:22So this guy, so if the guy pushed him off the bike, I kind of

54:27understand. The guy pushed him off the bike, he's lucky.

54:31That's all he did to him.

54:32This could be eight -year -olds.

54:34Yeah, those little kids. Like, you can replace this with tricycles.

54:36But those little kids that are there, too, and he's yelling at them and pointing

54:39at them. But if you really did push him off the bike, that guy's a

54:43piece of shit. And he's lucky.

54:46And look, he's an idiot.

54:47Because even after he beat his ass, he's still getting in his face.

54:52And he's still talking shit.

54:55Okay. Well, that's a different story.

54:57Well, that's good. That's good to know.

54:58Yeah, fuck that guy. Don't push someone off a bike.

55:01And it's like, because the dirt bikes were loud and they were in the neighborhood.

55:05You know, turn your TV up.

55:06Shut the fuck up. Yeah, right.

55:07People are just so into everybody's business.

55:09I've watched so many videos of homeowners associations yelling at people for doing whatever.

55:15Parking an old car in your driveway.

55:18I'm not. Or just, like, people always love to tell people what they can and

55:22can't do. Right. I've had homeowners associations before.

55:25I don't know if you've ever dealt with that.

55:26Sure. It is a fucking nightmare.

55:29You have to sit down and talk to these dorks who tell you what you

55:33should and shouldn't do with your fence.

55:35Yeah. How high are your hedges?

55:37Dude, I had a situation once where there was all these wrought iron fences in

55:41my neighborhood. And I repaired my fence and I replaced it with a different wrought

55:45iron fence. And they said, you can't have wrought iron fences.

55:48We have a new rule.

55:49It has to be a questering fence.

55:50I said, but there's no consistency.

55:52I said, the entire neighborhood has wrought iron fences.

55:54They said, it doesn't matter.

55:55I said, well, let's go to court.

55:57I go, I don't give a fuck.

55:59I go, I'll sue you.

56:00I go, I have money.

56:01I go, let's go to court.

56:02I go, I'm not taking my fucking fence down.

56:04And they're like, you're going to take your fence down.

56:05And I go. You're not gonna tell me anything.

56:09You're not gonna tell me what to do just because I go it looks great

56:12It's not like it's a blight on the neighborhood.

56:14The house is beautiful. Shut the fuck up and eventually I won Did you have

56:20to sue? Well, I threatened to sue and they backed off because they were afraid

56:23of suing They're afraid of lawsuits because then you'd have to they would have to

56:25use the homeowners association funds to do this And it didn't make any sense like

56:30I talked to a lawyer about it I said does this make any sense he

56:32goes no There's a precedent in the neighborhood like every third house had wrought -iron

56:37fencing and it wasn't like It wasn't good -looking like it was beautiful.

56:41It was news clean. I had a reputable company build it There's nothing wrong with

56:46it, and I was replacing wrought -iron fence with more wrought -iron fencing just better

56:49It was like the fence was broken.

56:51It looked shitty It was like, you know, they get rusty where they connect and

56:55I had to get it replaced So what on earth was their problem just cunts

56:58cunts. This is how cunty they are I had a neighbor who lived across the

57:02street He told me that I had to trim my trees and thin them out

57:08so that he could see the view in the distance And I said, what are

57:13you talking about? And he said we have a regulation that says you can't obstruct

57:18the view I go these trees have been here for 50 years And then I

57:23talked to the guy who sold me the house.

57:24He's like that asshole was trying to do that with me to just tell him

57:27to fuck himself Yeah, he's just a weird guy He said he built an observation

57:30deck at the top of his hill in his backyard So he could see like

57:34the lights of the city in the distance and he wanted you to cut your

57:37trees down So you're obstructing the view I go your house is obstructing my view

57:42of this hill. I like to look at hills Is that what we're gonna do?

57:46Take your house down you take your house down.

57:48I'll trim these trees. Fuck you man lift this house He's like, oh, so it's

57:52gonna be like that I go gonna be like what you want me to cut

57:55trees down so you could see like you don't have a view man You're not

57:59on the edge of the hill.

58:00You're you're back set This is what the view looks like from where you are

58:04right this house has been here before your house was there.

58:07Yeah, yeah go eat shit It's like it was nice and maybe you would have

58:10done something I wouldn't have done a fucking thing It's not a it didn't make

58:14any sense. It's just people want to tell people what to do Like I was

58:18reading this article where this homeowners association Hired a tow company to go around the

58:23neighborhood and tow all the cars that had expired tags Can you imagine like you

58:29know your tags expired like ah fuck I'll get to it.

58:32I'm busy I'll get to it next week, you know you figure you just run

58:35it around and then all of a sudden they tow your car Like fuck you

58:40man like fuck you It's just people love to tell other people what to do

58:45and homeowners associations when they get power They become like the little hall monitors of

58:50the neighborhood You know your grass is unruly you it's supposed to be two inches.

58:56It's four Like just people people love to do that.

59:02They love to tell people what to do and what not to do This episode

59:05is brought to you by netflix.

59:07All right, baseball fans This one's big for the first time ever baseball season kicks

59:12off with one exclusive opening night game live on netflix The new york yankees led

59:19by seven time all -star aaron judge head to the san francisco bay to take

59:25on rafael devers And the san francisco giants after a long off season The first

59:32pitch is on netflix watch mlb opening night the new york yankees versus the san

59:39francisco giants live on netflix wednesday March 25th at 8 p .m.

59:44Eastern time 5 p .m.

59:46Pacific time This episode is brought to you by simply safe We spend an absurd

59:51amount of time on our devices and some days there are times when I can't

59:55stand to look or even Think about all the notifications that pop up on my

59:59phone But it's not a good idea to ignore everything like a ping from your

1:00:03security camera That could be a disaster.

1:00:06There are times when you just can't answer your phone though Like if you're out

1:00:10in the middle of nowhere camping or hiking or fishing with little to no cell

1:00:14phone reception That's why it's important to get a security system that can take action

1:00:19when you can't like simply safe These guys do a great job of being proactive

1:00:23about your safety and well -being because in addition to smart cameras They also have

1:00:28live monitoring agents at the ready if an alarm goes off or a camera spots

1:00:32something suspicious They'll jump in and take action and that's not the only thing that

1:00:37makes simply safe a good choice There's no long -term contracts and an anti -theft

1:00:42guarantee So get peace of mind wherever you are and right now listeners of the

1:00:47joe rogan experience can get 50 % off a new system by visiting simply safe

1:00:52.com slash rogan That's simply safe .com slash rogan.

1:00:57There's no safe like simply safe I have one neighbor who kind of runs the

1:01:02whole block She puts everyone on an email chain and she's pretty she leads with

1:01:07love But she looks out for everybody.

1:01:10Well as long as I'm looking out it's not bad.

1:01:12It's just like nonsense Like the guy wanted me to trim the trees.

1:01:16He wanted me to thin out my tree You want me to chop the trees

1:01:19down? He goes no, I just want you to thin them out.

1:01:21You can thin them out I go what what are you talking about chop all

1:01:25the leaves off so that you could see lights in the distance?

1:01:29It was like the dumbest conversation and he realized while we're in the middle of

1:01:33the conversation how dumb this is Right.

1:01:35And then we never talked again and I would see him occasionally Isn't there a

1:01:38safety issue with trimming your trees like thinning them out fire?

1:01:43Well, I mean where we were there was the real issue is brush The real

1:01:48issue is the ground, you know dried brush on the ground.

1:01:52We were evacuated from where I lived three times from fires Down here.

1:01:56No, this is in California.

1:01:58Yeah And when I lived in California the last big fire in 2018 We lost

1:02:03three houses in front of our house and my neighbor's house caught on fire But

1:02:08I had one my crazy friend bud would not leave the neighborhood.

1:02:11They evacuated the whole neighborhood.

1:02:13He wouldn't leave He's like I'm staying easy.

1:02:15I'm staying. I'm gonna save my house I'm gonna save other people's houses and he

1:02:18fucking did he saved his house He saved my neighbor's house.

1:02:22My neighbor's house, my roof, the roof is on fire.

1:02:25He got water on it.

1:02:26He called the fire department.

1:02:27There was fire departments that were, like, trying to put out fires in the neighborhood

1:02:30the moment they started. And they hosed his roof down.

1:02:34Because embers will fly and they land.

1:02:37No, I had it in L .A.

1:02:38and I had to evacuate for one day.

1:02:40It's spooky, man. The fires in California are no joke, man.

1:02:44And it's really weird to see when it happens because you realize, like, how nature

1:02:49is completely in control when that happens.

1:02:51Just this storm of flames that comes over the hills.

1:02:56It's wild. It's wild and it cannot be controlled.

1:02:59And once it starts, it's just a matter of trying to contain it.

1:03:02And a certain amount of houses are just going to go no matter what, depending

1:03:05on which way the wind blows.

1:03:08But that wasn't what the problem was.

1:03:10This guy was just a cunt.

1:03:13Just -ish. Just -it's a homeowners association thing.

1:03:17It's just, like, people that think they -like -they -there was a -we -I'm still

1:03:21a part of this email group that, you know, I'm still on the email of

1:03:25the homeowners association. One of the guys poisoned one of the people in the homeowners

1:03:30association's dogs. Yeah. Like, they got in some sort of a dispute about something.

1:03:36This guy poisoned his fucking dogs.

1:03:39Wow. Yeah. It's so sad.

1:03:41Evil cocksucker. Wow. But it's, like, that kind of thing.

1:03:44It's these people that just want to control their neighbors, man.

1:03:47It's so weird. Like, one of my neighbors - What's the punishment for that?

1:03:51He should be shot. I mean, you fucking piece of shit.

1:03:54That's like killing a family member.

1:03:55Somebody killed one. He should have to eat whatever he gave those dogs.

1:03:58He should go to jail.

1:03:59For sure. I don't know what happened.

1:04:01I don't know if they caught the guy.

1:04:02I don't think they know exactly who did it.

1:04:05They had no video evidence.

1:04:08The person who lived there apparently didn't have good security cameras.

1:04:12But there's just so weird.

1:04:14Like, they would get mad at someone for the way they designed their house.

1:04:18And I was like, what do you give a fuck?

1:04:20And he's like, this is like one of my neighbors built a house.

1:04:23And my other neighbor, what do you think about his house?

1:04:25I go, it's a house.

1:04:26Like, I don't care. And he's like, I think it's ugly.

1:04:29And this house is going to lower our property values.

1:04:31I go, what are you fucking talking about?

1:04:33Your house looks great. You have a beautiful house.

1:04:36You think people are going to pay less for your house because this house is

1:04:38boring? Like, this doesn't make any sense.

1:04:41But it's just people, they nitpick.

1:04:44And when they have control, when people have control over other people's situation, like, they

1:04:49don't have control over their own life.

1:04:50And their life is just a sloppy mess.

1:04:53Because they always like to look at other people's lives.

1:04:55And I don't like where he puts his dumpsters.

1:04:57It's a hater. Yeah. We all confront that all the time.

1:05:00It's not just a hater.

1:05:01It's a hater with power because of homeowners associations.

1:05:05And from that moment on, I decided I will never buy a home with a

1:05:09homeowners association. Never. No fucking chance.

1:05:13I don't care how cool they are because someone not cool could move in.

1:05:16And then it becomes a nightmare.

1:05:17I will never have conversations with those kind of people where they tell you what

1:05:22you could do with your lawn.

1:05:23Like, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you.

1:05:28When I was a young comic, I lived with my grandfather in the house that

1:05:31I grew up in. And we would never, ever, ever mow the lawn.

1:05:34We just didn't have any money.

1:05:36We didn't care. And everyone in our neighborhood just hated us.

1:05:39They would heckle us and yell at us.

1:05:41So I guess I've been the eyesore, and now I'm on the other side of

1:05:44it. My grandfather lived in the same house that he bought in the 1940s.

1:05:49And when he bought it in the 1940s, this was in a, it was an

1:05:52all -Italian neighborhood in Newark.

1:05:54And then they started doing, you were born in Newark?

1:05:58Newark, New Jersey. No shit.

1:06:00What's up, dog? Brick City, motherfucker.

1:06:01Let's go. That's where I learned karate.

1:06:04Is that really? From detectives in Newark.

1:06:07Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, people don't know you're a black belt in Taekwondo.

1:06:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild.

1:06:12Do you still do it at all?

1:06:13I mean, I work out, like, you know, not with people, but I know my

1:06:18moves. And I do a few in the new Netflix special.

1:06:20I throw some kicks for fun and tell the story about getting a black belt

1:06:25starting at six, getting bullied.

1:06:27My mom dragging me to the House of Empty Hands.

1:06:30That was what it was called.

1:06:32Ronnie Roselli, Newark detective, teaching me karate, almost like a father figure.

1:06:37Oh, that's awesome. Gave me confidence.

1:06:40Gave me self -respect, respect for others.

1:06:44Taught me that hard work pays off.

1:06:46You know, when you get a black belt at 10 and a half, you go,

1:06:48wow, maybe I could be something in my life.

1:06:51If I work as hard as I did at that, maybe I could be good

1:06:54at something else, too. Yeah, for sure.

1:06:57I mean, it teaches you a lot about, like, the belt system is really good

1:07:00because you get rewarded for your work and then you see, like, a tangible result.

1:07:04Instead of just, like, ooh, I'm getting better, it's like, ooh, there's, like, a ceremony.

1:07:09Yeah. Like, I've reached a new level.

1:07:11Yeah. Like, now, you know, now I have to be.

1:07:13Some of my most cherished memories are those ceremonies.

1:07:15So my dad and mom watching me get my brown belt, blue belt, brown belt,

1:07:20and black belt competing in tournaments all over the East Coast.

1:07:24Isn't that awesome? What was his name?

1:07:26Gary? There's this karate guy I used to throw.

1:07:29Gary Alexander, he threw East Coast tournaments and I used to compete.

1:07:33I still have a room, half a dozen karate trophies in my house.

1:07:36That's awesome. It's the best time of my life.

1:07:38I lost most of my stuff, but I do have a bunch of medals that

1:07:41I still have that are in my drawer by my bed.

1:07:44A bunch of medals from the day.

1:07:45But it seems weird when I pick them up.

1:07:47They don't even seem real.

1:07:48It's from another life. Oh, it's another life.

1:07:51Like, I don't even, until I, like, hit a bag or something like that, I

1:07:56almost forget that I could do it.

1:07:57You know? And then I do it, I'm like, ooh.

1:08:00Right. Still got it. I like, I like, my kicks, I can front snap kick.

1:08:06I can't side kick. I can barely roundhouse at this point.

1:08:09But it's like. Why not?

1:08:11I got a belly. There's no real good reason.

1:08:18Other than I'm just, you know.

1:08:20You ever thought about, like, starting to take classes again?

1:08:22If I, if I, I do think about it.

1:08:25I probably could. Yeah. You know, you're good at kicking, of pushing me to do

1:08:29stuff like that. It'd be good for your health.

1:08:31Just take a class a couple times a week.

1:08:33What would I take? If I was a black.

1:08:34Belt and taekwondo. Take taekwondo.

1:08:37Just start taking that again.

1:08:38Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're doing it for exercise.

1:08:40It's not like you're going to fight in the UFC.

1:08:42No. Just go and start, you know.

1:08:44You'd probably feel it a little bit, and then you'd remember what you used to

1:08:49be able to do, and so your muscle memory would kick in.

1:08:52Yeah. You'd start probably watching your diet a little bit better.

1:08:55Right, right, right. Drinking more water.

1:08:57Yeah. Taking vitamins. Then next thing you know, four or five months have gone by,

1:09:02and now your waist is thinner.

1:09:04Right. Your kicks are snappier.

1:09:05You're going to three classes a week instead of two, you know.

1:09:09You feel better. People go, Jeff, look at you.

1:09:12You're looking great. Like, yeah, I started taking taekwondo again.

1:09:15Yeah, it's not a bad idea.

1:09:17I guess I wouldn't wear my black belt.

1:09:19I would feel like I was disrespecting the art.

1:09:24Yeah. So I'd have to re -earn that.

1:09:27Well, you could always take a totally new style and start out as a white

1:09:30belt. You know, you take my kyokushin.

1:09:32This is a shirt I'm wearing right now, George St.

1:09:34Pierre. Take something else. Just take something near you, like Krav Maga.

1:09:38Like, take anything. My manager, Amy, told me she was your publicist when you were

1:09:43on the cover of Black Belt magazine.

1:09:45Oh, yeah. Amy's V. Yeah, way back in the dizzy.

1:09:50I love that. That's so funny.

1:09:52Yeah. I mean, I never stopped working out.

1:09:55I just don't. It's too much of a part of my brain.

1:09:58Like, my mind doesn't operate well if I have days.

1:10:02Even if I just take a couple days off, I don't feel right.

1:10:05I feel squirrely. I feel like I'm not balanced, you know?

1:10:11Sometimes I just like to stand in front of a mirror and just throw blocks

1:10:14and just make sure that I like the way that it feels.

1:10:19Just do it. It's meditative.

1:10:20Yeah. Yeah. You know what I used to love doing, especially when I lived in

1:10:23California? I'd take a couple bong hits and just hit the bag and just, like,

1:10:28feel it. Just whoosh. Just start feeling it.

1:10:32Just whomp. I remember my cod.

1:10:34Whomp, whomp. Do you? Do you remember all those?

1:10:36I remember at least the first two, I think.

1:10:39God, I used to hate those things.

1:10:40I didn't think. I was young and immature, and I didn't understand the value of

1:10:44forms. I used to think that this is pointless.

1:10:47This isn't fighting. I only wanted to practice fighting technique.

1:10:51But now I understand. It teaches you body control.

1:10:54Like, you know, you throw a side kick and you snap it up in the

1:10:58air and you hold it and you turn and block and all that stuff.

1:11:01Like, it teaches you body.

1:11:03It's almost like a form of yoga, you know, and it teaches you to control

1:11:07your body. I do a lot of kicks in the air now, and I do

1:11:10them slowly. And it's really good for your control and your balance.

1:11:16And I didn't think that when I was younger.

1:11:19I thought that was, like, a waste of time.

1:11:20I thought, like, really what's important is, like, hitting things really hard and being fast.

1:11:25And now I realize, like, no, no, no, no, there's, like, a lot of value,

1:11:28even to help your techniques and to be able to hit things hard.

1:11:32Like, do it slowly and just have full control of your balance and your movement.

1:11:37So I like to do that.

1:11:38And I like to do, like, slow kicks in my...

1:11:41I like yoga. That's why I like yoga.

1:11:43Yoga's amazing. Yeah. I feel like that's akin to martial arts.

1:11:47It makes me high. Yoga is, like, the best high.

1:11:50You take your shoes off.

1:11:51Oh, yeah. Your phone is gone.

1:11:52You're so relaxed when it's over.

1:11:54It's just about your body and control.

1:11:55You're so calm. Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:57Yoga's so good for your brain.

1:11:58Usually on Mondays when I'm here, I would go with Tony to his high yoga.

1:12:02Yeah. Oh, Tony loves it.

1:12:04Yeah. Yeah, he raves about his yoga.

1:12:05He told me he's been off it a little bit.

1:12:07He has. Yeah. Well, you know, the thing about Tony is, like, he's so focused

1:12:11on Kill Tony right now because the momentum is so extraordinary, and he realizes that.

1:12:16Like, Tony's really aware that he's in a very rare moment in his life where

1:12:20things are going so well, so he's got his foot on the gas.

1:12:24Yeah, of course. And he's got a new special that he filmed that he's editing

1:12:27right now. Get ready to release.

1:12:29And he's just - So proud of him, man.

1:12:30I am too. And he's earned it.

1:12:32Yeah. I always told him he would take a different path than a normal entertainer.

1:12:36He always had this kind of odd trajectory.

1:12:39Well, he's an odd guy.

1:12:40Yeah. You know, Tony, you'd swear he's gay, and he's not.

1:12:47But he's an awesome person.

1:12:49Like, people who don't know Tony, they see, like, the outside of him.

1:12:52Of course. Like, as a friend, he's a great friend.

1:12:55Of course. He's a great guy.

1:12:56I love that guy to death.

1:12:57We're always checking on each other.

1:12:59He's the best. He was so happy.

1:13:00He was the first one to text me when I knew I was coming down

1:13:03here. When I was workshopping my show, he came and saw it in Austin.

1:13:08He came to the opening night on Broadway in New York.

1:13:11He's, like, there for his friends.

1:13:13He's the best. 100%. 100%.

1:13:14Well, that's the beautiful thing about Kill Tony is it's all about supporting people and

1:13:18giving people careers. Yeah. I mean, he's given so many people careers and pumped so

1:13:22many people up. I mean, he's really, that thing, that Kill Tony thing is also,

1:13:29it is, in my opinion, well, first of all, for our club, it's the cornerstone

1:13:34of the club. It's one of the most important things about the mothership because having

1:13:38Kill Tony at the mothership every Monday night lets all these people that are upcoming

1:13:43comedians see what it's like to have one minute that you've polished and worked on

1:13:49really well and it kills, and then you pop, and then all of a sudden,

1:13:52you know, it's on YouTube, it's got 11 million views, and then, you know, maybe

1:13:57it's on Netflix, and it's got millions and millions of people watching all around the

1:14:01world, and then all of a sudden, people come to see you in the clubs,

1:14:03and you're selling out weekends, and you're writing, and then you get a golden ticket.

1:14:07You've got to do a new minute every week.

1:14:09You're a regular. I mean, it's really - A new minute.

1:14:12My show comes on tonight, it's 90 minutes.

1:14:16It might be the longest stand -up special in Netflix history.

1:14:19Well, your show is like a one -man show.

1:14:2290 minutes. It's a little different, right?

1:14:24I haven't seen it, but I've heard great things.

1:14:26Yeah. You're going to love it.

1:14:27I'm sure I will. You're really, I think you're going to like it, because it's

1:14:30about us. It's about comedy and the community of what we do.

1:14:35It's an embattled community, and it has its detractors, and it has a bunch of

1:14:40haters and a bunch of shitheads in it, but for the most part, as far

1:14:45as creative communities, it's one of the most supportive communities ever.

1:14:49I mean, it's an amazing the community of comics like real comics that are all

1:14:53that when we meet up in clubs It's always hug people think we're all like

1:14:58angry bitter like The tears of a clown.

1:15:03It's not there's a few people like that and they always make me sad But

1:15:07the reality is like most of us are super happy to see each other It's

1:15:11always hugs and laughing and watching each other sets and giving each other tags And

1:15:16and telling each other like all that fucking new bit is amazing.

1:15:19It's like it's so supportive This episode is brought to you by mando most deodorants

1:15:24out there are basically cologne for your armpits They don't actually stop odor.

1:15:28They just smother it with a heavy fragrance It's like blasting heavy metal in your

1:15:32headphones when you're jackhammering to block out the noise Mando works differently.

1:15:37It goes after the source body odor comes from bacteria and mando's aluminum free formula

1:15:43Uses mandelic acid to shut that process down basically before it even starts The stuff

1:15:49is tested hard to third -party clinical tests show mando blocks odor all day long

1:15:55Not most of the day all day no midday Reapplication no emergency sniff tests Just

1:16:03put it on once in the morning and you're good and here's the wild part

1:16:08mando isn't just for armpits It's formulated to be safe anywhere odor shows up feet

1:16:13crotch butt Whatever if it smells don't mask it mando it you can find mando

1:16:20at walmart's target and other retailers across the country Or you can go to shopmando

1:16:26.com and use the code rogan for 20 % off your first order This episode

1:16:31is brought to you by visible folks.

1:16:33There's one thing nobody wants this season and that's getting catfished And it's not just

1:16:39dating profiles that are putting you at risk.

1:16:41It's also big wireless carriers You know the type looks great at first promises a

1:16:46low price But once you're locked in surprise fees and an expensive bill that isn't

1:16:52what you were expecting Your knight in shining armor visible wireless It's one line wireless

1:16:59with unlimited data and hotspot for just $25 a month taxes and fees included Now

1:17:07that's a green flag The best part visible is all digital so you can switch

1:17:12as fast as you can swipe Don't fall for the trap of getting catfished by

1:17:16wireless visit visible .com to learn more and start loving your wireless carrier Terms apply

1:17:23see visible .com for planned features and network management details I was at your club

1:17:29last night and it was like I'll let comics come in to say hi I

1:17:33brought some extra chicken wings Jamar was there It was just fun Moses was doing

1:17:37roast battle I sat in on that Then I went outside Said hi to some

1:17:41people And went upstairs and did a spot It's like It's family I don't have

1:17:48a wife and kids to go home to This is what I do This is

1:17:51the people that I love The comedians are my kids My cousins My uncles My

1:17:56aunts You know Well I do have a wife and kids But it's still my

1:18:00other family Yeah It's like the family of comedians It's like a band of brothers

1:18:04It's a And sisters It's like a weird kind of friendship That you know It's

1:18:09like only they know what you do You know Only they understand that It's like

1:18:1510 years before you're even any good Right 10 years of being Like if you're

1:18:20out there And you're headlining a club And you're on the road Like you fucking

1:18:24put in that work There's no shortcuts It's impossible to have a shortcut You just

1:18:29gotta grind I learned long And I learned over time I don't want a shortcut

1:18:34I like the process Yes That's what I live for Oh yeah You know we

1:18:38have a roast Coming up May 10th It's not about May 10th It's about I

1:18:45can't wait to hang in the writer's room again I can't wait to figure out

1:18:48Who's coming I can't wait to figure out The seating Who are we gonna make

1:18:53fun of Who's gonna be in the front You know What am I gonna wear

1:18:57It is the grind That's exciting Yeah There's no finish line Right The finish line

1:19:03doesn't exist You'll have little finish lines Like you do a special Like your special

1:19:07That's coming out That's a finish line But it's only a stop Right You're stopping

1:19:13to get water But where is the finish line Joe Like okay So I did

1:19:16the Broadway show Then I shot it Then I edited it But now I'm here

1:19:20Still talking about it And then in a month from now Two months from now

1:19:23Someone will stop me at the airport And go Hey I was My kid was

1:19:27sick I was in the hospital I watched your thing And it made me laugh

1:19:30For five minutes When life So All of it is There's no finish line No

1:19:37There's no finish line If you're sitting around going I hope I win the Oscar

1:19:41If you're Tom Cruise is jealous of George Clooney And George Clooney is jealous of

1:19:45Brad Pitt There's no finish line There's no finish line It's all the I have

1:19:49a big neon Like you have the neon I have a big neon in my

1:19:52house That just says enjoy the process Yeah That's where I'm at Yeah Trust it

1:19:58Trust the process And enjoy it And that's the weird thing about When you release

1:20:03a special And then you have nothing And then you know You have to like

1:20:07scour your brain For what you want to talk about I took like a whole

1:20:11month off A stand up after my last special Well I didn't do any stand

1:20:15up Maybe more than a month And I just thought I said let me just

1:20:19think Just like no pressure Let me just think Like what What is interesting to

1:20:23me What do I want to talk about Instead of just rushing To try to

1:20:26put together a new hour Right Let me just think for a while You know

1:20:30And I'd come to the club Every now and then And watch Watch guys do

1:20:33sets But I didn't do any sets For a while I'm in that zone right

1:20:36now It's nice You know what Scary When I first Finished the special It was

1:20:43years of material building With a through line and a story And then when it

1:20:48was over I was a little bit lost Like I'd go to the comedy cellar

1:20:53I was still in New York I couldn't let go Of some of the And

1:20:57I was like I need to stop doing this material And then I felt like

1:21:00I had no purpose Like I didn't want to talk about anything Thank you And

1:21:04I said it to my buddy, Kai, and he goes, dude, relax, you're between albums.

1:21:08Like, he put it in musical sense for me.

1:21:10He's like, you're like a musician between albums.

1:21:12Absorb some new things, see some movies, go on a trip, have some new life

1:21:17experiences. And then I was like, yeah, that's probably a break.

1:21:21After doing the same thing, the same kind of hunk for years, your body, your

1:21:26brain, like, think about something else.

1:21:29Absorb new things. Download new influences.

1:21:33And that's kind of where I'm at.

1:21:35And then, of course, Kevin was like, I'll get roasted.

1:21:37And I was like, all right, I can put stand -up away for another two

1:21:40months and just write that.

1:21:41Yeah. So I go back into roast mode, which gives me, I'm like a dog

1:21:45who needs a job. Yeah.

1:21:48Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of the same thing as your dog.

1:21:52It really is. It's like you need a task.

1:21:54If you're just doing nothing, like the idea of like, oh, one day I'm going

1:21:57to retire and just relax.

1:21:59Like, bitch, you'll go crazy.

1:22:01Did you see we're roasting Kevin Hart?

1:22:03That's what I heard. Are you supposed to say that, though?

1:22:06Yeah. Are you supposed to talk about it?

1:22:07I am. Okay. You're allowed to?

1:22:10My show. Okay, because I was told not to tell people about it.

1:22:14We're doing it. May 10th, baby.

1:22:16Mother's Day, live on Netflix.

1:22:18So you're officially announcing it?

1:22:20Yeah. Okay, I could talk about it now.

1:22:21At the forum. Because I was told about it, but I was told I was

1:22:23not supposed to tell anybody about it.

1:22:24I don't know who told you that.

1:22:25Some people. No, dude. They said keep it under wraps.

1:22:28You like it? Oh, it's already a thing.

1:22:30Yeah, they announced it this weekend, I think.

1:22:31Oh, hosted by Shane Gillis.

1:22:34Let's fucking go. Nice. That's awesome.

1:22:38That's awesome. Sweet, right? Fuck yeah.

1:22:40Kevin is so pumped up.

1:22:41That's awesome. That's going to be fun.

1:22:43Dude, he's out there. You know, he's...

1:22:45These Netflix fucking... The Tom Brady one was insane.

1:22:49That was so good. That was so good.

1:22:52That kind of like juiced comedy back up again, because it was so wild.

1:22:57It was like the jokes were so wild.

1:23:00It was so raw. Yeah.

1:23:01And we had gone through this like weird period of like people getting canceled for

1:23:05jokes. Right. You know, it's like all of a sudden like, nah, that's gone.

1:23:10No, no, no. I said to him, I've been big game hunting Tom Brady for

1:23:15years. It took a couple years.

1:23:16He retired, unretired, but I kept him on the line.

1:23:20And finally, we were shooting promos.

1:23:22And I was like, why are you doing this?

1:23:25Because I could tell, you know, it's starting to heat up.

1:23:28And some heavy hitters were signing on.

1:23:30I go, why are you doing this?

1:23:31I don't like... It wasn't for the money.

1:23:34And he goes, I want to bring comedy back.

1:23:36I'm sick of the woke bullshit and cancel.

1:23:38I want to make comedy like fun again.

1:23:40He understood that. And I caught him.

1:23:43I caught him on a Super Bowl Sunday.

1:23:45He was playing in the Super Bowl.

1:23:46And I saw him looking at some jokes on Instagram that I posted.

1:23:50And like, and I'm like, this is where he goes to relax.

1:23:54He goes to the roast.

1:23:55Right. And I'd heard that.

1:23:56So as I was like, he won the game.

1:23:58And I was like, I think it's time.

1:24:00And then we reeled him in and he did it.

1:24:04And I will admit that roast was harsher than I expect.

1:24:10Even I expected. I mean, it was, it was a bloodbath.

1:24:14And I saw Tom the other day and I said, it's time to take your

1:24:18win. You know, he was like, it was so harsh.

1:24:21It was tough on my family.

1:24:22I go, I get all that.

1:24:24But you wanted to do it to bring comedy back.

1:24:28You did that. 1 .6 billion viewing minutes.

1:24:32Emmy nominated against the Oscars and the grand, like the Super Bowl half.

1:24:36It was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix.

1:24:40Right. You know how nuts that is?

1:24:41Think about how many things are on Netflix.

1:24:43That roast was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix.

1:24:47And it was because it was so funny.

1:24:49It wasn't just because it was Tom Brady, which of course made a lot.

1:24:53But it wasn't just because all these great comics were on it, which of course

1:24:56meant a lot. Right. It was, it was so good.

1:24:59It was so good that people were telling people about it.

1:25:02Yeah. And it's like a great Super Bowl.

1:25:05It's going to be around forever.

1:25:07Yes. Netflix leaves it up.

1:25:09Oh, like the Charlie Sheen roast.

1:25:10We were talking about Patrice.

1:25:11Yeah. They're always going to be there.

1:25:12It's going to be there forever.

1:25:13I do think, all respect to Tom, I do think this one with Kevin and

1:25:17Shane Gillis is going to top it.

1:25:19Really? I think it's, it's not quite a sequel, but it's, it's own thing.

1:25:25Well. It's going to be the greatest roast of all time.

1:25:27Netflix is the place for roast now because as great as Comedy Central was, you

1:25:31had restrictions on language and content.

1:25:33Right. And Netflix. And it was editing.

1:25:35Yes. Editing. This is a.

1:25:37And commercials. Right. Yeah. Right.

1:25:39This is Buckwild. The Buckwild.

1:25:41Yeah. Netflix is fucking amazing.

1:25:44I mean, what an insane platform that you have.

1:25:47You could never get bored.

1:25:49If you're bored in this life, like you're bored, you don't have anything to watch.

1:25:53Right. Like, are you crazy?

1:25:54Yeah. There's so much shit to watch.

1:25:56Only boring people are bored, right?

1:25:57Yeah. That's what they say.

1:25:58Or people are uninformed. But I mean, even in this day and age, you could

1:26:02just, you know, do an internet search.

1:26:05Like, what's the best roasts on Netflix?

1:26:08Right. What are the best dramas on Netflix?

1:26:10Right. What are the best shows on Netflix?

1:26:11Right. There's always something. That's exciting, though.

1:26:14It's going to be a big one.

1:26:15Yeah. Mother's Day. Motherfucker's Day.

1:26:18Kevin Hart, there's a guy, like, I don't understand how he has the time to

1:26:22do all the things he does.

1:26:23I do not understand it.

1:26:24I'm a pretty busy person, and I look at people like him, and I feel

1:26:28lazy. I'm like, how are you doing this?

1:26:30Right. How do you have time to sleep?

1:26:32Right. And I saw him out with his wife having drinks two nights last weekend.

1:26:36He must sleep like four hours a night.

1:26:38I don't know how he does it.

1:26:39Some people are just built different.

1:26:41Yeah. I mean, well, it's growing up poor and realizing that, like, once this is

1:26:45happening for you, like, keep your foot on the gas, and that guy keeps his

1:26:50foot on the gas better than anybody.

1:26:52Yeah. I mean, he's ambitious as fuck.

1:26:54He's always got, like, some tequila brand and releasing this.

1:26:57He had a vegan restaurant chain for a while.

1:27:00I would have talked him out of that.

1:27:02What the fuck are you doing with that?

1:27:04Well, you know, he likes to branch out and be a businessman.

1:27:08Mm -hmm. Yeah. I just don't understand the time.

1:27:11And then, in the meantime, he's doing arenas at the same time.

1:27:14It's like, okay. And killing.

1:27:15Yeah. I don't get it.

1:27:16The roast, the roast. For him is back to his roots.

1:27:21That's what I love about it.

1:27:22It's like the Philly thing, talking shit.

1:27:25Shane's from Philly, so there'll be a big Philly angle.

1:27:30And we got some of his oldest buddies coming on.

1:27:33It's going to be pretty massive, I think.

1:27:35That's nice. Yeah. Well, you've carved out an interesting path for yourself as the roast

1:27:39master. Yeah. It's like an old school skill that used to be a big part

1:27:46of comedy. You know, the Friars Club roasts.

1:27:48Yeah. I miss those Friars Club roasts when they were just like, you know, sometimes

1:27:54they weren't even on TV yet when I was doing them.

1:27:57I just bought a Leroy Neiman painting from, they had an auction of old Friars

1:28:02memorabilia, and Leroy Neiman painted Henny Youngman surrounded, and he painted his punchlines like around,

1:28:09his one -liners around Henny holding his violin.

1:28:11And he used to sit in the dining room at the New York Friars, and

1:28:14Henny in his wheelchair would sit under that painting.

1:28:17And for some reason, it's all up for auction, so of course I had to

1:28:21grab it. Oh, that's awesome.

1:28:22That's so cool that you got it.

1:28:24Yeah. That's amazing. I miss some of those guys.

1:28:27I was thinking about Buddy Hackett.

1:28:28I almost wore a Buddy Hackett T -shirt today.

1:28:31I loved Buddy Hackett. He has a Buddy Hackett T -shirt?

1:28:33Somebody made me a Buddy Hackett T -shirt and gave it to me.

1:28:36Yeah, those guys are from a different time, you know?

1:28:39Different time. No television, no nothing, doing the Catskills.

1:28:43Right. Different world. They would do each other's acts.

1:28:47They would do whatever got a laugh.

1:28:49Yeah. They were assassins on the road.

1:28:52It was a totally different life.

1:28:54And if you had a name, like you had a name back then, like if

1:28:58you were a famous comedian back then, there was the rarest of rare things.

1:29:02Yeah. How many of them were there?

1:29:03There was like 10? Right.

1:29:05You know? Shecky, Buddy, Nipsey.

1:29:07Yeah. Few of those guys.

1:29:08Yeah. Few of those guys.

1:29:10There are not many left.

1:29:12No. They're really all gone now.

1:29:14Yeah. That's what happens. That's going to happen to us, buddy.

1:29:17That's what I hear. Better than the alternative.

1:29:20What? Stay around forever? No.

1:29:24You either keep going or you saw the picture, Gilbert, Norm, Bob, you know?

1:29:29The alternative is death. So when I go, oh, I don't want to get old,

1:29:32I go, yeah, you want to get old.

1:29:34Yeah. As long as you keep your body moving, you just don't want to be

1:29:39an old, like completely incapacitated person.

1:29:45Like that's, especially if it's avoidable.

1:29:47Right. You know what I mean?

1:29:48I went through it all year.

1:29:50I went in for a route, three weeks after that Brady roast, I had a,

1:29:54went in for a colonoscopy.

1:29:55My buddy Jordan had been texting our text chain.

1:29:59Everyone's got to get, he's like kind of a hypochondriac, so I kind of ignored

1:30:03it. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:30:05I was too busy. I was on the road.

1:30:06And then finally I went in for a routine colonoscopy.

1:30:10And I waited too long.

1:30:11And they found a tumor in my colon.

1:30:15And immediately that, an hour, two hours later, was on the phone with a surgeon.

1:30:20Whew. And stage three. And found a specialist, took care of it right away, but

1:30:29never felt doomed. Have you changed your diet after that?

1:30:33Yeah, I don't, I'm eating a lot less red meat.

1:30:35Red meat? Now when I eat red meat, it's like going to be the best

1:30:39red meat. Why is it red meat?

1:30:41I don't know. I mean, for me growing up in a catering hall in New

1:30:45Jersey around pastrami and prime rib, and he said that that was a big cause

1:30:49of colon cancer. Really? Yeah, and processed foods.

1:30:54Processed foods makes sense. Yeah.

1:30:56That makes sense. So I'm eating a lot less of that.

1:30:58Yeah. I moved over to turkey and chicken and a little bit of fish.

1:31:02And cut out the processed stuff?

1:31:04As much as I can.

1:31:05What about alcohol? Did you cut that out?

1:31:06I've never been a big drinker.

1:31:08That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little wake -up call.

1:31:12I mean, you have a health scare.

1:31:14Yeah. A little wake -up call.

1:31:15Time to take care of yourself.

1:31:16I just had the, you know, talk about this in my show.

1:31:19Like, I had my chemo port in on Broadway, on the show, and I was

1:31:24like, still kind of in it.

1:31:26It's like I was having a human experience on stage.

1:31:30And just two weeks ago, I had the port, the chemo port taken out.

1:31:34My sister came down to celebrate and hang with me.

1:31:39And it's like a war prize.

1:31:40Like, I hold the port where they put the chemo.

1:31:43Like, I have it on my desk now.

1:31:44And let's just say they put a lot more in people than they take out.

1:31:50So I feel very lucky.

1:31:51I survived it all. Yeah, I'm glad you're alive, dude.

1:31:54People die with those fucking ports in them.

1:31:57They do. Well, they die with cancer.

1:31:59That's for damn sure. Colon cancer is a very common one.

1:32:02This guy, James Van Der Beek, younger than me.

1:32:04I know. I met him.

1:32:06He was a nice fucking guy, man.

1:32:07He came to the club, hung out with his wife in the green room.

1:32:11Sweetest guy. Just such a nice guy.

1:32:13And apparently he was struggling back then.

1:32:16I didn't know. He looked real thin, you know?

1:32:19So when you asked me right when you walked in, how are you doing?

1:32:22I was like, great. You know, like, it was a pointed question.

1:32:27And you asked politely and innocently.

1:32:29And I was like. Yeah, I didn't know that you had gone through that.

1:32:32Yeah. Yeah. God, I haven't seen you in when.

1:32:35When was the last time I saw you?

1:32:36I saw you in D .C.

1:32:38I saw you in New York for Kill Tony.

1:32:41Briefly. Yeah, yeah, briefly. We didn't, like, sit down and shoot the shit.

1:32:44No, no. We had a drink.

1:32:45Was it your birthday in New York when you were doing Kill Tony?

1:32:49Or was it here? New York.

1:32:51I think it was in New York.

1:32:52Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember that.

1:32:54But then I saw you in D .C.

1:32:56when you were with your family.

1:32:56It was quick. Like, but I see, I feel like I see you because I

1:33:02pop into the mothership, but I always pop in on the weekends when you're off.

1:33:07Yeah. But, yeah, it was a crazy thing, man.

1:33:10I never been sick a day in my life.

1:33:12I've always had that, like, my grandfather used to call it world beater energy.

1:33:16Like, I always felt invincible, never thought for a second it would be me.

1:33:21Yeah. And then I did wait too long to get a colonoscopy.

1:33:24And they're not a big deal.

1:33:25Like, guys are afraid of colonoscopies because - Because something's up your butt.

1:33:28Yeah. But in the end, it really isn't up your butt.

1:33:32It's a doctor. Doctor checking you out, you're out cold.

1:33:35That's what they tell you when you wake up.

1:33:36They go up your butt, bro.

1:33:39And get the endoscopy, especially for smokers and stuff like that.

1:33:43And, like, for what is essentially, like, a one -day inconvenience.

1:33:50They can really save your life.

1:33:52It did save my life.

1:33:53Well, I'm glad you cleaned up your diet.

1:33:55Yeah. You know, you've got to do that, because I know that you are— I

1:33:58mean, I've run into you at Cat's Deli before, too.

1:34:01That's another thing I needed to talk to you about.

1:34:03What? I forgot all about this until you brought it up.

1:34:07Do you remember running into me at Cat's Deli with Tony?

1:34:11I guess you must have been in town doing stand -up or something.

1:34:14This was, like, already 10 years ago.

1:34:16I don't think it was that long ago, was it?

1:34:18It was, and I'll tell you how I know.

1:34:22One of the things when I got booked on this appearance, I said, I make

1:34:28a mental note. I owe Rogan an apology.

1:34:31And it's not a big deal, but it always kind of bugged me.

1:34:37I came in to say hi, and I was self -conscious because I had something

1:34:45wrong with me, and I didn't know what it was.

1:34:48And you said, what's with your eyebrows?

1:34:51And I, like, kind of shoulder shrugged, and you were like, is it for a

1:34:56roll? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:34:58Oh. Do you have any recollection?

1:35:01I do. I do. And I lied.

1:35:03Yeah. Because I was embarrassed.

1:35:04You said I shaved him off for a roll.

1:35:05I was like, oh, that's crazy.

1:35:07What are you playing? I was embarrassed because I had alopecia.

1:35:13Didn't really understand what was happening to me yet.

1:35:16And I used to saw the, I had a big fro, big bushy eyebrows.

1:35:20Like, I was like the Propecia man of the year.

1:35:28And I don't know what causes it.

1:35:30It's an autoimmune thing. It's not life -threatening.

1:35:36But suddenly, I looked completely different.

1:35:39My fame, like, if anyone ever recognized me, walk into a restaurant, you know, get

1:35:44a good table, skip the line.

1:35:46It was all gone. Just suddenly and within a few weeks, I was, I remember

1:35:52being at Zaney's in Nashville and just scratching my head and, like, a big clump

1:35:56of hair came out. Then I was on a plane, and I was like, there's

1:35:58no hair on my leg.

1:35:59What the fuck's going on?

1:36:00And then within a month, me and Adam Egat and Tony went to the barbershop

1:36:08on Melrose. They came with me because I was kind of, like, shaken up.

1:36:12Like, what is happening to me?

1:36:13Am I dying? So it happened really quickly?

1:36:15It happens all within a few weeks.

1:36:17All your hair fell off within a few weeks.

1:36:20And then, when I thought it was done, eyebrows started going.

1:36:25And then eyelashes. So sweat, salt.

1:36:29It was like, what the fuck?

1:36:31And I didn't even recognize myself.

1:36:35And - Is there anything they do that reverses that?

1:36:37There's some medications. Dr. Drew actually hooked me up with a research doctor, Brett King.

1:36:45He was at Yale at the time, in Connecticut.

1:36:48And I did have some restoration of eyelashes and eyebrows.

1:36:53But the side effects were a little bit scary.

1:37:00And they lower your immune system a little bit.

1:37:04So I did that for years.

1:37:07And then when I got cancer, I was like, fuck those meds.

1:37:10I can't do it anymore.

1:37:11Right. And the chemo eyebrows, eyelashes, gone again.

1:37:15Wow. And now I'm literally, like, hairless.

1:37:19Like, I have no hair.

1:37:22And, you know, you learn to live with it.

1:37:24You know, you got to channel your inner rock star.

1:37:27Listen, there's worse things that can happen.

1:37:28Believe me, I get it.

1:37:30You know. Right. More than anybody.

1:37:33But it always dinged me.

1:37:35Because you and I have been friends a long time.

1:37:38We have an honest friendship.

1:37:41Comics. Brutal honesty. Truth. And I looked you right in the eyes.

1:37:46And I was like, yeah, yeah.

1:37:47I went with it. This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog.

1:37:51Recipes, cooking methods, even portioning.

1:37:54It all makes a difference for your dog's health.

1:37:57And The Farmer's Dog is pouring a ton of resources into new research studies.

1:38:03They've also just started sponsoring a residency program at the University of Tennessee's College of

1:38:09Veterinary Medicine, which aims to contribute new research and help shape the future of pet

1:38:15health. You can see their dedication to science -backed dog nutrition in their food.

1:38:21Every recipe is developed by a team of board -certified veterinary nutritionists, and they offer

1:38:28tailored plans for dogs of all ages, sizes, and breeds.

1:38:32They do all this on top of offering a high -quality product of real meat,

1:38:38fresh vegetables, and essential nutrients.

1:38:41They even portion the food to your dog's specific caloric needs.

1:38:46Because keeping dogs at a healthy weight can help them live up to two and

1:38:51a half years longer. Try The Farmer's Dog today and get 50 % off your

1:38:57first box of fresh, healthy food.

1:38:59Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog .com slash rogan.

1:39:06This offer is for new customers only.

1:39:09We all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on.

1:39:12But too often, life, or usually price, gets in the way.

1:39:17That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality.

1:39:21With up to 60 % off hotels and up to 50 % off flights, you

1:39:25can book everything you need for your next adventure.

1:39:27Don't just dream about that next trip.

1:39:29Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline .com and book your

1:39:35next trip today. Go to your happy price.

1:39:38Priceline. Priceline found out slightly after that that you had alopecia from other people because

1:39:44someone else brought it up and someone said, Oh, he's got alopecia.

1:39:47Oh. I'm like, oh, I asked him at Cat's Deli, and he said he shaved

1:39:51his eyebrows off for a roll.

1:39:52But I just felt like you're probably embarrassed, and I totally understood.

1:39:55Like, it's weird. Right. They say a lot of these autoimmune issues come from inflammation,

1:40:00and a lot of inflammation comes from what you eat.

1:40:03Right. A doctor would tell me that wasn't true.

1:40:06Yeah, doctors aren't always right.

1:40:08And one of the things they're not always right about is nutrition and the impact

1:40:11that nutrition has, particularly on autoimmune issues.

1:40:15Very few doctors have any knowledge or any education in nutrition and the impact it

1:40:21has. I mean, your entire body is built out of and reconstructed from what you

1:40:26consume. Right. It's the only thing that your body has.

1:40:28Right. In order to—your body makes new cells, your body replenishes cells, recreates all the

1:40:34tissue. There's only one way to do it.

1:40:36It's got to be what you eat.

1:40:37It's the only thing. What you drink, what you eat.

1:40:39That's it. And if you're eating a bunch of processed stuff that has a bunch

1:40:44of bullshit and preservatives and— What causes inflammation?

1:40:47Well, a lot of things.

1:40:48Allergies cause inflammation. Processed food cause inflammation.

1:40:52Excess sugar causes inflammation. Alcohol.

1:40:55There's a lot of things that people eat that cause inflammation.

1:40:58But it's really genuinely a thing of a balance of, you know, your diet and,

1:41:05you know, what your body has to work with.

1:41:08You know, if your body doesn't have any nutrients to work with, no vitamins, no

1:41:12minerals, you know, you're dehydrated, you're drinking too much sugar, you know, things start malfunctioning.

1:41:20And then, you know, there's a bunch of different consequences for having a high -inflammation

1:41:26diet. And for a lot of people, it's sugar.

1:41:30Sugar is one of the leading causes of inflammation, especially in the standard American diet

1:41:35because the standard American diet is just riddled with excess sugar, corn syrup and bullshit

1:41:41and preservatives. And your body just, after a while, just gets tired of processing that

1:41:46stuff. And then you start encountering a bunch of issues.

1:41:50And I know there's a lot of autoimmune issues that people have had success in

1:41:56reversing by completely cutting out everything other than whole foods.

1:42:01Just eating chicken and meat and vegetables and drinking water and that's it.

1:42:07Cutting out all the bullshit.

1:42:09Yeah, I got to do better.

1:42:10Have you ever gotten blood work done?

1:42:11Well, now I have to do it all the time.

1:42:13Do you? Do you ever get blood work done from, like, a comprehensive laboratory that's

1:42:17looking at your nutrient levels and all those different things?

1:42:19I don't know if I've done that.

1:42:20Well, you should do that.

1:42:21There's a place in town, Wastewell.

1:42:23I'll send you there. Yeah.

1:42:25Yeah, they're really good. I mean, they do.

1:42:27They take a shitload of blood and they do these really comprehensive blood panels.

1:42:31They can scan for cancer, too, by the way.

1:42:33Yeah, well, that I've done.

1:42:33Yeah, that's a big one, you know, because they can check for any kind of

1:42:37cancer in your body. Well, now that I'm through all that, I'm much more open

1:42:41to taking care of myself and staying on it and the fear is gone.

1:42:47The first time I did that one, I was like, cancer's a scary one.

1:42:49And I was like, boy, I hope I don't have cancer.

1:42:51I don't know about it.

1:42:52When it came out zero, I was like, whew.

1:42:54But I do so much to take care of myself.

1:42:57I do the sauna every day, cold plunge.

1:43:00I take a ton of vitamins.

1:43:02I'm always exercising. I eat probably like 99 % clean.

1:43:07Every now and then I'll fuck off.

1:43:08Or if my daughter makes cookies, I'll eat cookies.

1:43:11But for the most part, I give my body.

1:43:13What kind of cookies? She's really good.

1:43:14She makes a bunch of different stuff.

1:43:16Today was white chocolate chip cookies.

1:43:18They're really good. I had one this morning.

1:43:20But for the most part, your body can only use what you put in it.

1:43:26There's no other building blocks.

1:43:28It doesn't have anything else.

1:43:30There's nothing else it can draw from.

1:43:32And that's one of the problems is when you don't give your body what it

1:43:35needs, it starts taking things out of the tissue.

1:43:37It starts taking things. That's where osteoporosis comes from.

1:43:40Your body starts literally taking calcium out of your bones.

1:43:44You've got to give your body the building blocks.

1:43:46Without that, it doesn't know what the fuck to do.

1:43:48And slowly but surely, you start to deteriorate.

1:43:51And there's a giant difference between giving your body a nutrient -dense, healthy diet and

1:43:57not. And taking care of yourself and exercising and not.

1:44:01And drinking much water and electrolytes and not.

1:44:05There's a giant difference. And your body just cannot recreate itself correctly.

1:44:09It cannot build itself and repair itself correctly unless it gets the proper nutrients.

1:44:16That's where a lot of people's issues come from.

1:44:18And doctors don't tell you that.

1:44:20Like I had a family member that got real sick.

1:44:23And the doctor said they got cancer.

1:44:25And the doctor said it doesn't matter what you eat.

1:44:27And I go, well, fuck that doctor.

1:44:29That's not true. I don't believe that at all.

1:44:30This doctor is telling you you could eat cake and just take chemo and you'll

1:44:33be fine. That's horseshit. That's not true.

1:44:36That's not true. Because one of the things they should tell you immediately is get

1:44:39on a ketogenic diet. Because one of the things that has been proven is that

1:44:43cancer uses glucose to survive.

1:44:47And autophagy, which comes from fasting, is one of the best ways that people can

1:44:51get rid of errant cells and cells that are misfiring.

1:44:56Make your body burn off fat.

1:44:59Use ketones for energy. And just get rid of all the dead cells.

1:45:03Get rid of all the shit that your body doesn't need.

1:45:06And if you don't even want to do that, do intermittent fasting, you know, where

1:45:10you only have a period of time where you eat.

1:45:13Like give yourself like a 16 -hour window with no food and then start eating

1:45:18after that. But how do you keep your – how do you not be cranky

1:45:23and lose your mind doing that?

1:45:24Because your body is relying on carbohydrates, right?

1:45:27So when your body is not relying on carbohydrates and your body is burning off

1:45:31ketones, you don't have that problem.

1:45:33You don't have that crashing problem.

1:45:34The crashing problem is from a high -carbohydrate diet.

1:45:37And I've had that before.

1:45:38Like I'm Italian, so it's carbohydrates.

1:45:41It's my thing. You know, it's all about pasta and pizza.

1:45:45I love that stuff. I just love it.

1:45:47And that's my cheat food.

1:45:48If I'm going to cheat, I'm going to eat Italian subs and that kind of

1:45:51shit. But when your body gets accustomed to that, first of all, you get a

1:45:55big insulin spike. You crash.

1:45:57You get exhausted. The way to avoid that is to get your body to start

1:46:01– using fats and the way your body uses fats is that's what you give

1:46:05it for fuel and your body adjusts and then your body does something called gluconeogenesis

1:46:11where it starts using meat and protein and turning that into glucose and when you

1:46:17go through this process it's a shaky process at first like you get what they

1:46:21call the keto flu originally initially rather where you you get tired all the time

1:46:26you're like oh this is exhausting and your workouts suffer it's like you have no

1:46:30energy but eventually your body adapts and your body just gets accustomed to using fats

1:46:35and when your body gets fat adapted first of all your brain works better you

1:46:40get an extra gear in terms of like your ability to think and communicate and

1:46:45it just feels like you have more energy you don't need naps and you don't

1:46:48crash after you eat that's why when you're saying like you shouldn't eat red meat

1:46:53i eat mostly red meat that's like most of my diet right that's like 80

1:46:57of my diet well i mean it's an addiction for me i don't think it's

1:47:00an addiction i think it's the most nutrient i think it's the most nutrient dense

1:47:04food in the world the problem is processed red meat right so if you're eating

1:47:08a bunch of processed shit that has a bunch of preservatives in it yeah that's

1:47:12not good for you but like a ribeye steak a grilled ribeye steak there is

1:47:15nothing wrong with that it's one of the most healthy foods you can eat and

1:47:19it has everything you need it has plenty of vitamins it has fat it has

1:47:23all the things that your body naturally knows how to process and people have been

1:47:28eating that food from the beginning of time yeah just got to get educated in

1:47:35it and it's like most people especially particularly most doctors i've had conversations with doctors

1:47:41where they've said you get everything you need from a balanced diet and i'm like

1:47:44fuck you you don't know anything like how much time did you spend in medical

1:47:48school learning nutrition was it even an hour was it a day right like it

1:47:54takes a long time and there's real researchers who have spent decades understanding the the

1:48:00balance of nutrient dense foods and vitamin supplementation and and what vitamin supplementation can cure

1:48:07and fix and what's it what it's good for and how to balance it out

1:48:10and what vitamins work synergistically with other vitamins like if you're taking vitamin d3 which

1:48:15is fantastic for your immune system you have to take it with k2 you should

1:48:19take it with magnesium as well like you gotta you gotta know these things and

1:48:22most doctors they just they talk out of a they talk out of a voice

1:48:27of authority about something they're not educated in right they're educated in getting people in

1:48:31and out of their office as quick as possible and getting that insurance money and

1:48:35that's what they do and most of them they talk like they're authorities meanwhile they

1:48:39have a gut you're sitting there looking at this guy who looks like shit and

1:48:42he's telling you about health like bro you're not healthy don't talk to me about

1:48:45health this is angry it makes me angry it really does i get it it's

1:48:51it's infuriating because it's like these people you count on them as authorities and really

1:48:54they're just they're just paying off their student debt they're paying off their fucking loans

1:48:59they they have uh insane malpractice insurance they have to cover they have a giant

1:49:03monthly nut and they're trying to push pharmaceutical drugs on you as much as they

1:49:07can because they get compensated for that and that's what they do and this is

1:49:10the standard american health system that's a real problem yeah it's a real problem and

1:49:14it leaves us sicker you know this is the thing that rfk junior is trying

1:49:17to balance like we are we spend more money on health care than anyone in

1:49:22the world we make more money than anyone in the world and we're sicker than

1:49:26anyone in the world we spend more money than we ever have on health care

1:49:29we're sicker than we've ever been go live in the life we're eating well it's

1:49:34not it it's we're eating shit you know if we're just eating healthy the people

1:49:39that are just eating healthy have way less problems way less health consequences way less

1:49:45issues way more energy way more mental acuity all those things because that's how your

1:49:49body's supposed to live for thousands and thousands of years what did we do we

1:49:54eat fruit we eat vegetables we eat meat and chicken and fish and eggs and

1:49:59that's what you're supposed to eat right that's real food most of these things that

1:50:03sit on a shelf you're not supposed to eat those right just like your dog

1:50:06like your dog's not supposed to be eating kibble kibble right you know feed your

1:50:10dog raw food your dog's gonna go bonkers feed your dog human grade food like

1:50:14farmer's dog your dog will go crazy you watch how she eats it watch the

1:50:19difference the way try it my dog can't wait he's dripping water's dripping off of

1:50:24his mouth before i feed him he's like sitting there waiting like stay and i'm

1:50:28putting in the ball okay he like attacks it like jamie you were saying that

1:50:35about your dog right like let carl like when he was eating kibble he wasn't

1:50:38even interested yeah i never had a chance to even give it to him he

1:50:43would never never ate it you just sit there like well what do you how

1:50:47do you you're a how do you who's been feeding you know what have they

1:50:50been like how did they get in your body but i always give my dog

1:50:53when i give her like turkey you know putting it sometimes if i have turkey

1:50:58or chicken around i'll put it in her bowl i always give her you know

1:51:01like a cat's deli when you order the sandwich they give you a little piece

1:51:04before yeah i always get her a little piece to get her salivating and she

1:51:08snaps it oh yeah yeah because it's real food right that's what people are supposed

1:51:13to be eating too man we're supposed to be eating real food you know we

1:51:18got tricked because things have to stay in the supermarket you gotta you gotta be

1:51:21able to sit it on the shelf and it's gotta be able to stay there

1:51:23for a few months that's how you make your profit that's why milk is homogenized

1:51:27and pasteurized i'll try to scare you off raw milk bitch i drink raw milk

1:51:31every week there's nothing wrong with raw milk you just can't get it from a

1:51:34shitty farm just like you can't get meat that's rotten just like you can't get

1:51:38sushi that's rotten just i eat ice cream every day how bad is that for

1:51:42me ice cream is actually not that bad ice cream when you think about bad

1:51:48things to eat ice cream is probably one of the best desserts to eat because

1:51:54ice cream has fats from the cream it has protein from the milk and it

1:52:00does have sugar so you got a little bit of sugar but you're absorbing that

1:52:04sugar along with all the fat and all the cream and it probably is way

1:52:10better for you it's way better for you than sugar like drinking like a soda

1:52:14like so like a Soda is the most alien form of sugar your body absorbs

1:52:21Your body doesn't know what the fuck this is because sugar in nature comes from

1:52:25like an orange It has all this fiber, you know, and you're you're eating it

1:52:30and it's a slow digestive process That's why you don't get this crazy spike, but

1:52:35orange juice is fucking nuts Like you take all the fiber out and now you

1:52:40just have just pure sugar water and you think you're being healthy Well, you're not

1:52:44okay. Look you get a little bit of vitamins from the vitamin C.

1:52:48That's from the oranges Yeah, but you're not supposed to eat it that way.

1:52:51You're supposed to eat an orange right like apple juice, right?

1:52:54Like my daughter's like very conscious of like food and like what's in it and

1:52:58she she put we went to a supermarket and she was gonna get an apple

1:53:01juice She's like This has 30 grams of sugar this little thing at 30 grams

1:53:07of sugar like that's crazy That's just you're just you might as well have a

1:53:11coca -cola, right? It's kind of the same thing Yeah Your body like I think

1:53:17there's a there was some paper that was written recently about ice cream actually being

1:53:21good for you And by far the best of desserts that you can eat because

1:53:27it's it's milk and cream You know, it's like there's there's actual food in ice

1:53:33cream I crave it every night Ice cream not that bad.

1:53:35Look at this. Can ice cream be healthy what recent studies actually show Recent research

1:53:39has sparked debate about ice creams place in a balanced diet by examining long long

1:53:44-term health studies Scientists are exploring whether moderate consumption may have unexpected links to certain

1:53:50health outcomes So ice cream has long been regarded as classic indulgence rather than a

1:53:55healthy food The discussion largely emerged Okay, however in recent times some surprising research has

1:54:02sparked the debate among nutrition scientists by saying that consumption of ice cream may be

1:54:06related to certain Unpredictable health outcomes The discussion largely emerged from data analyzed in long

1:54:12-running research projects such as Nurses health study and health professional follow -up study Two

1:54:17major epidemiological studies that track diet and health outcomes over decades Research examined dietary patterns

1:54:24among participants with type 2 diabetes Notice unusual pattern related to ice cream consumption Discussion

1:54:29earned. Okay. What is the discussion?

1:54:34Consuming ice cream more regularly sometimes appear to have lower risks of certain health conditions

1:54:39Especially cardiovascular disease amongst individuals of type 2 diabetes The problem is with epidemiological studies

1:54:48You're just basically like filling out a form as to what you ate And they

1:54:51track that with like large study groups of people and they try to figure out

1:54:55Okay, that's one of the ways they find out like oh The people that eat

1:54:58red meat more are sicker But that's also like what are you eating right you

1:55:03eating burgers that you call red meat with sugar with a with a coca -cola

1:55:07Right and some fries like because that's what a lot of people are eating right

1:55:10So it's not like grass -fed steak with a salad, you know, that's not the

1:55:15problem Remember Craig who came in here Craig from Craig told me to say hi

1:55:20I love Craig He said steak and I thought about steak.

1:55:23Oh, he makes a great steak That was my joke when I got colon cancer.

1:55:26I told Craig you're gonna go out of business if I'm not eating your steak

1:55:29I don't think you have to stop eating steak I mean, i'm no doctor, but

1:55:33I don't I don't think steaks the problem I think all the other shit's the

1:55:36problem. I think it's preservatives and bullshit and processed food It's just not good for

1:55:41you man. None of it's good for you if you could sit on a shelf

1:55:45Like that house all these preservatives that stuff wrecks havoc on your gut bacteria When

1:55:50you're consuming things that are filled with preservatives that those preservatives are essentially killing life

1:55:56That's what they do. That's how it keeps bacteria and mold from growing on the

1:56:01food It's it's a life killer and then you eat it go.

1:56:05Oh yum yum yum. Oh, it's preserved So I can eat it mean you're your

1:56:09health Your healthy gut bacteria just gets fucking nuked Yeah, I don't think it's meat

1:56:16is a problem You know I was on a USO Christmas tour and I ate

1:56:25worse on that than I would and I go how are they Yeah, that's something

1:56:34they should fix that is something they're trying to fix that RFK juniors Trying to

1:56:38fix that I was like eating ice cream and shakes and burgers and pizza at

1:56:43every base Yeah, it's a lot of processed food Yeah, it's terrible food for those

1:56:46soldiers. It's terrible and then you're asking them to go to perform and the most

1:56:50fucking scary Thing on earth combat So it made me think maybe it's maybe it's

1:56:56all bullshit if the military is eating the same pizza and pepperoni that I'm eating

1:57:00at home then No, they should be more No, the what's bullshit is the way

1:57:05they treat those people. That's what's bullshit What's bullshit is the the way they take

1:57:10care of them. That's what's bullshit What's bullshit is the the consideration they give to

1:57:14the diet of these people, right?

1:57:16You're asking these people to make the ultimate sacrifice.

1:57:18You're giving them prison food.

1:57:20That's what's bullshit, right? Yeah, it's not diets.

1:57:23Not bullshit diets everything. It is literally everything like I said Your body has nothing

1:57:29else nothing else that it can build itself up with Hmm other than nutrients.

1:57:35That's all it has You consume it if you don't you're you starve to death,

1:57:39right? If you don't eat you starve to death So in order for your body

1:57:43to take care of itself.

1:57:44What are you giving it?

1:57:45It's that simple You drink a lot of water a lot of water.

1:57:49Yeah, you still drink a lot of coffee I drink less.

1:57:52Um, i've been drinking coffee later in the day now Um, i've been like going

1:57:57through my day and not drinking my first cup of coffee till like noon now

1:58:00I've been doing that a lot lately Hmm.

1:58:03Yeah, you don't need it in the morning to get going sometimes I feel like

1:58:07I do I enjoy it I indulge if I enjoy it, but I don't like

1:58:10relying on things. I don't like Having to do things.

1:58:14I don't ever want to have that feeling So lately i've been like and i've

1:58:18gone days without coffee just to see what that feels like Sometimes I feel a

1:58:21little sluggish But there's ways you can avoid that too.

1:58:24Like i'll take nootropics which is a brain nutrients, you know theanine and uh acetylcholine

1:58:32and a bunch of different things like there's alpha brain that stuff pumps my brain

1:58:36up and fires it up it's just you get addicted to caffeine caffeine is very

1:58:40very addictive and uh i feel like if i can get my day going without

1:58:44it it's probably better yeah i drink a lot less but i see what you're

1:58:48saying i love it though oh it's great i love a cup of coffee i

1:58:52love it i love it uh when i landed yesterday austin airport like i needed

1:58:57a coffee so bad i'd been out partying the night before early flight and land

1:59:02and you just want a cup of coffee before you even start seeing your texts

1:59:05because you don't want to deal and it's like the first place i go to

1:59:09it's like there's a long line i finally get there and it's like it's a

1:59:13kiosk and i'm like i can't kiosk i need to just tell someone to put

1:59:17coffee in a cup and hand it to me and i go to another place

1:59:20that it's like they they charge me and then they hand me a cup and

1:59:24go go fill it and i walk away i just can't i get so freaking

1:59:28cranky and i go to third place finally it's just like they give you a

1:59:32cup of coffee the kiosk and the the no employees just it all makes me

1:59:39so mad i want to talk to somebody oh okay i don't like filling out

1:59:43a computer when i want something i rarely go to coffee places because i drink

1:59:48black coffee and black coffee at starbucks tastes like dog shit right it's all burnt

1:59:54and tastes terrible it's just not good i could drink any coffee you could take

1:59:59old coffee put it in a microwave and it's the same to me as really

2:00:02yeah an espresso that you're oh i like it i like this this is this

2:00:07is french press black rifle coffee you want some yeah get in there dog that's

2:00:12good coffee that's real coffee son thank you that's coffee cheers taste that cheers here's

2:00:23another problem that's good that's not right not bad right if you get coffee from

2:00:27starbucks you're getting in a paper cup and if you get in a paper cup

2:00:30it's not paper you're drinking out of it's plastic because the inner lining of those

2:00:35paper cups is basically like a condom right ever see when they break it down

2:00:39yeah when they well if you add hot liquid to plastic that plastic leeches chemicals

2:00:46into your body that are not good for you they're called forever chemicals they're terrible

2:00:51for you so like every time you drink a hot liquid that's in a paper

2:00:55cup you're sucking on plastic residue that's gross we're gross there's a lot of things

2:01:02that are gross about the american lifestyle i mean if you get coffee from starbucks

2:01:09or something like that ideally you should bring your own cup bring a mug bring

2:01:13you know like a little one of those little yetis you know so it's like

2:01:17pouring right into stainless steel that's how you're supposed to drink it but who does

2:01:22that who brings a little stainless steel not yeti with them everywhere nobody nobody but

2:01:26if you did that you'd get a lot less these fucking microplastics in your gut

2:01:32that also wreak havoc on your body destroy your immune system destroy your endocrine system

2:01:37it's uh they're endocrine disruptors so it stops your body from producing hormones naturally which

2:01:42also can lead to a host of different diseases makes me think maybe charlie sheen

2:01:48was right after all crack smoking crack while getting a blowjob yeah that's how to

2:01:53do it you don't think he was worried about the plastics in the pipe well

2:01:56there's certain dudes that are built different and they could i mean a lot of

2:01:58people that did what charlie did would have already been dead a long time ago

2:02:02he's resilient i do hope somebody puts him in a big movie i like your

2:02:11idea i like a good comeback story maybe he's due for another roast it'll be

2:02:18hard now he's all clean sober it's like what did you do 20 years ago

2:02:22it's like yeah but now he's he's kind of doing all right he looks good

2:02:28looks healthy he looked a lot better than i thought he was gonna look like

2:02:31it doesn't look like a guy who's went through 25 years of crack and he

2:02:35was sick mm -hmm yeah what did he have hiv oh yeah hiv is weird

2:02:42that's a weird one because uh with the medication they have now you don't really

2:02:48you know you're not even testing positive but they just tell you you have it

2:02:52no matter what it's dormant which doesn't totally make sense there was a guy named

2:02:57peter duzberg that i had on my show a long time ago and uh he

2:03:01was a professor out of the university of california berkeley um and uh just brilliant

2:03:08brilliant guy groundbreaking work on cancer but he had a very controversial take on hiv

2:03:13and his take was he didn't believe that hiv is what caused aids he said

2:03:18the fact that you have hiv is because your immune system is so severely compromised

2:03:23that hiv shows up that was his take on it and he was ostracized you

2:03:28got to realize like during the aids crisis do you know who was the guy

2:03:32that was in charge of the medical establishment in this country anthony motherfucking fauci same

2:03:38guy and that guy had everybody convinced that we're all going to get aids we're

2:03:43all going to die and y 'all have to take this medication and one of

2:03:46the medications they gave people was azt problem with azt was azt was a chemotherapy

2:03:52medication and it was killing people quicker than cancer was so they stopped using it

2:03:56they repurposed it when aids came along and they started giving it to aids people

2:04:00because they didn't have to go through this whole process of like getting uh a

2:04:08drug certified getting a drug to go through the fda and they already had a

2:04:11drug so they said well this drug this will be the drug we use for

2:04:14aids but it killed everybody they put on it killed tons and tons of people

2:04:19when they stopped using azt people stopped dying you know that's what dallas buyers club

2:04:23was all about it was all about them trying that movie with matthew mcconaughey it

2:04:27was all about them trying to find alternative cures um alternative medications and being able

2:04:32to access alternative medications he wanted everybody to use azt and he was like azt

2:04:38the reason why they use it it's the only drug that is both safe and

2:04:42effective it's literally what he said back then in the fucking 80s and uh that's

2:04:49the same guy that sold us his bag of bullshit with the covid origins and

2:04:55and whether or not it was gain -of -function research that caused it he's just

2:04:59creepy fucking guy we never really got answers on any of this we will it'll

2:05:06take time but we will and he'll probably be gone by the time it's publicly

2:05:10understood but if you read rfk jr's book the real anthony fauci it'll open your

2:05:15mind it'll open your eyes he talks about how they were testing out in the

2:05:19uh 1980s they were testing out hiv vaccines on foster kids in new york and

2:05:25killing them jesus yeah they tested it on foster kids yeah it's real if it

2:05:32wasn't real he would have been sued he hasn't been sued for it wow it's

2:05:36a dark book dude the real anthony fauci i can't recommend it enough it's a

2:05:40fucking terrifying book but that's the same guy that was a part of the whole

2:05:44aids thing the movie's gonna be weird who would play anthony fauci in a movie

2:05:51maybe martin short i think it's another sean penn tour de force sean penn was

2:05:58all about the vaccine do you miss acting not even a little i was thinking

2:06:02about that the other day you really were in this whole other world joe call

2:06:09times makeup lines blocking uh well i enjoyed working on news radio and it was

2:06:15very i felt insanely fortunate to be able to work with phil hartman and dave

2:06:20foley and all those people on that show steven root morna mora tierney so many

2:06:24funny people andy dick it was incredible candy alexander it was an incredible cast of

2:06:30people i mean i felt super super lucky but once it was over i'm like

2:06:33i don't think i'll ever be able to recreate that because that was like optimal

2:06:37and i had been on a couple other shows as a guest i didn't like

2:06:41it and i was like this is not what i like i only did it

2:06:46for money you know it's not my thing and it's a long process dude sitcom

2:06:52hours or you know especially in the beginning days it was like 12 16 hour

2:06:57days who wrote that show paul sims and a bunch of other writers but he

2:07:00was from the larry sanders show you know and um he did bardwock empire after

2:07:06that a bunch of other stuff but brilliant guy but that show was just like

2:07:11i caught they caught lightning in a bottle i got so lucky to be a

2:07:15part of that show and i'm like i could never be on a shitty sitcom

2:07:19after that you know i couldn't be on some fucking you know sloppy canned horse

2:07:27shit you went highbrow with fear factor well i took that because there was no

2:07:32actors i first of all i took fear factor because i thought it was going

2:07:35to be canceled i thought this is going to be giving me a lot of

2:07:37material it was like ran forever 148 episodes yeah it was nuts have you seen

2:07:43the new one no i haven't but uh johnny came on johnny knoxville came on

2:07:47to do it i didn't see the ludicrous one either but uh how long did

2:07:51ludicrous do it for i don't even know that till now yeah ludicrous did it

2:07:55i think was it on mtv jamie i think he did it on mtv mtv

2:08:00did it for a little while i think he did it for i don't know

2:08:03how long but i love johnny johnny knoxville great guy he's the best a true

2:08:08gentleman sweetheart of a guy and i love him so much i hope it does

2:08:12well you know i hope they don't hurt anybody that's the problem like when fear

2:08:17factor came back on nbc um when we came back in 2011 and we only

2:08:21did six episodes they were really trying to make it bigger and better i was

2:08:25like jesus christ we're gonna fucking kill somebody right it felt like it it felt

2:08:28like when it was canceled i was happy i was like fuck this huh you

2:08:34were done yeah well it got canceled because they had a drink come do you

2:08:39know that no you don't know that what yeah oh yeah yeah they played horseshoes

2:08:45to drink donkey come we're still talking about andy dick at news radio no no

2:08:50we're talking about fear factor now and andy only drank people come he's he's a

2:08:55gentleman um but yeah that happened that's what got the show canceled but that's because

2:09:02they were just trying to make it as outrageous as possible as possible it's like

2:09:06the early you're right at the beginning of that crazy this is it fear factor

2:09:10donkey juice this is it they had to play horseshoes and uh they drank donkey

2:09:16piss and donkey come there was three sets of twins and one twin had to

2:09:20drink the come look at that that's a mug oh come oh my god it's

2:09:26so foul wow yeah so tmz i think got a hold of the clip or

2:09:32images and said that fear factor was doing this and it never aired in the

2:09:35united states but it aired overseas it aired uh somewhere in europe i want to

2:09:39say the netherlands or in denmark or some shit wow yeah now you survived good

2:09:45times good times now you're drinking delicious coffee and you're palatial hanging out with you

2:09:50jeff i love it man dude i've known you since you were jeff lip schutz

2:09:53i've known you since your best joke which was um never trust a hooker with

2:09:59a walkie -talkie you go i learned you were like 25 but you're like i've

2:10:05learned a lot of things in my life yeah i never trust a hooker with

2:10:08a walkie -talkie was that the joke um no it was i went to college

2:10:13for three years you know what i learned how'd it go don't trust hooker was

2:10:18walk with walkie -talkies i don't know you know me since jeff lip i'm still

2:10:22by the way i'm still jeff lip schultz my id my passport maybe you shouldn't

2:10:28tell everybody it's all right we should have hid that it's it's it's at this

2:10:32point when did you change it to ross what year was that oh i can

2:10:34tell you what happened was i got booked on star search down in florida like

2:10:41my first time on tv you know we're all starting to get like on mtv

2:10:45and star search those shows were coming around and i go down to orlando where

2:10:50they were shooting it back then and um ed mcmahon was the host and he

2:10:57kept introducing me by Fuck it up.

2:11:00Arch, this week's challenger, Jeff Lipschitz.

2:11:04And I'd walk out. And it would screw me up, you know?

2:11:08Then the next, I'd won, and then the next day, it's like, this week's challenger,

2:11:12you know, life shots. You know, he would just screw it up every time.

2:11:17And on the flight home, I was like, I either have to, if I really

2:11:22love comedy, I was like two years in, I go, let me think about this.

2:11:27Ross is my middle name.

2:11:29Jon Stewart was Jon Leibovitz, and he had told me he did it for the

2:11:33similar reasons of like, no one can spell, if I asked you to spell Lipschitz

2:11:37right now, even you couldn't, and you'd know me 35 years.

2:11:41So I was like, all right, either I'm going to have to change my name

2:11:44or my whole family's going to, I don't know what to do.

2:11:47So Ross, it just made sense.

2:11:48It's easy. Yeah. Yeah, it's easy.

2:11:51Jeff Ross. What was Ed McMahon like?

2:11:54You know. Did you ever hang out with him?

2:11:55I shook his hand, and that was the end of it.

2:11:57But I didn't get to know him very well.

2:11:59I heard he was an animal.

2:12:00I heard he drank a lot.

2:12:02Yeah. But then I made some joke like that, and people got mad at me

2:12:06online going, don't disrespect Ed McMahon.

2:12:08Was he gone by the time you made that joke?

2:12:10Yeah, it was recently, because they rebooted Star Search just now.

2:12:15Fuck people online. You can't listen to them.

2:12:17Oh, dude, that's another thing Saget taught me, Bob Saget.

2:12:20Like, block the haters. Like, you know, we would argue about this, because, like, he

2:12:25would block people. And I go, well, then they know you saw it.

2:12:29Just ignore them. Let them float out to sea.

2:12:31He goes, no. He goes, no.

2:12:33I want them to know that they're blocked.

2:12:35He goes, and I don't want them following me.

2:12:37I don't want to say funny things to people who say mean things.

2:12:42He valued himself. I say don't read the comments.

2:12:47I say don't even pay attention.

2:12:49Let them exist in the ether.

2:12:51Well, you're off social right now.

2:12:53Yeah. You told me. Yeah, I post things, but I post and ghost.

2:12:57That's what I tell people.

2:12:58Post and ghost. Just post things.

2:13:00It's like people know about stuff, or something's interesting.

2:13:03You know, someone sends you something interesting.

2:13:05Like, oh, people should know about this.

2:13:06Right. That's it. Get out.

2:13:09I got better instead of using social media, like Seth Green is my neighbor, a

2:13:14good buddy of mine, the actor.

2:13:16And he started doing this during the pandemic.

2:13:19Instead of texting or liking people's stuff, he FaceTimes.

2:13:23It takes longer, but he's like, it's a real connection.

2:13:26Oh, okay. So he'll FaceTime me, you know, and talk to me.

2:13:30Just even if it's for a minute.

2:13:31What if you have an Android phone?

2:13:33Then you're fucked. And my friend Benji Aflalo goes, he quotes Brody all the time.

2:13:38He'll just, he'll write, he'll text me emojis, positive and a check.

2:13:44Positive check -in. Like Brody used to do.

2:13:46He would just positive check -in.

2:13:48Positive energy. Positive check -in.

2:13:50God, he was so fun.

2:13:52Oh, my God. Here's another guy.

2:13:53He's on my fucking contact list that's gone that I missed.

2:13:56I almost wore my Brody T -shirt today.

2:13:59I was thinking about him a lot lately.

2:14:01I don't know why. Enjoy it.

2:14:03Enjoy it. Has there ever been a comedian who's been less famous, but more, his

2:14:09cadence has been more, like, remembered?

2:14:11It's almost like him and Dangerfield have the most memorable deliveries of all time.

2:14:15Especially for us, for the guys who were around him.

2:14:16Brody Stevens, I don't know if people know.

2:14:18Yeah, for the guys who were around him.

2:14:20He was so, he was just such a unique dude.

2:14:23And he would show up at the comedy store and pull into the lot.

2:14:26Everybody'd smile. Oh, I, when I first met him, I really, truly hated him.

2:14:32I really hated him. It was, it was, it was literally like the mid -90s,

2:14:37Joe, like in New York.

2:14:38And, I can't believe, I haven't thought about this in so long.

2:14:43The show that, it's so funny.

2:14:46The show that's coming out tonight, I'd started developing 30 years ago.

2:14:51My grandfather died. I live with my grandfather.

2:14:53And it was like a way to like process it.

2:14:57And it was emotional. And I was doing it at little alternative comedy spaces in

2:15:03New York. And I didn't know Brody.

2:15:04And Brody would sit in the front.

2:15:06He was obsessed with it.

2:15:08Because I was like talking about stuff that hit for him somehow.

2:15:12And he would sit in the front.

2:15:14But he would, like, over laugh or twitch around at a seat.

2:15:20So then, you know, I'm developing this, like, one -man show.

2:15:23It was like different than stand -up.

2:15:25And he's like, he would want to talk to me about it.

2:15:27And he would say, like, weird things that kind of threw me off.

2:15:31You know, he would notice the differences.

2:15:33And I said, listen, man, HBO's coming to see it next week.

2:15:39Could you just not be in the audience?

2:15:43He goes, oh, okay, I understand.

2:15:44I'm the guy who bothers you.

2:15:46You don't like me. I get that.

2:15:48I go, no, it's not that, man.

2:15:50It's just that, like, you're like, Brody, 818 till I die.

2:15:54You're distracting me. And I'm not like, you know, I was only doing comedy a

2:15:59few years. So then HBO comes and Brody, I walk on stage and Brody's in

2:16:05the front row. So afterwards, I go, dude, what the fuck is your problem?

2:16:10I told you not to be.

2:16:11He's like, there were no other seats.

2:16:13I couldn't miss it. And our friendship grew where we both moved out to L

2:16:17.A. and we became such good friends that I had a Comedy Central show.

2:16:21He was the warmup. I had to have him around me all the time.

2:16:24I felt safer and better.

2:16:26Yeah. I think we both grew from like, I was a model in Pakistan cover

2:16:33of Camel Beat magazine. I dated an amputee.

2:16:38We met on StubHub. What was the one about the Nickelback tour jacket?

2:16:46I was at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

2:16:48I saw the Nickelback tour.

2:16:49It was in the Lost and Found, but still.

2:16:52I love Brody. Look up Brody Stevens.

2:16:54Yeah. I heard you talking about him the other day about his friendship with Zach

2:17:00Galifianakis. Yeah. And that, were you there when they did the memorial at the Comedy

2:17:06Store? No. No. I had a good line.

2:17:09I don't like those things.

2:17:11I was backstage and Brody's like, College baseball coach high school baseball coach and all

2:17:18his friends all spoke for like an hour and then they bring me out and

2:17:22I go after hearing all Brody's friends talk for now I'm starting to understand why

2:17:26he killed himself that's why I don't like those things I prefer to mourn people

2:17:34solo it was beautiful actually well Brody was a beautiful guy that's our world we

2:17:41got to remember these guys I know we do well you know one of the

2:17:44good things about podcasts is like the world gets to understand a lot of these

2:17:48people and hear us talk about all these people I think our world is more

2:17:53understood now in this day and age with a podcast world than I think it's

2:17:57ever been known before more criticized but that's part of the problem that mean that's

2:18:01part of the process of it that's normal but also more understood like people get

2:18:06it they get it I remember when it aren't for him and when you had

2:18:09Gilbert Gottfried on that was great killer was awesome I don't think he fully understood

2:18:13what was happening here but I remember really enjoying your interview at Gilbert what do

2:18:20you mean you don't think he understood he'd done stern he'd done right but but

2:18:24he he this is stern is fast and jumping in and Joe you know like

2:18:31impressions this is more of a conversation which Gilbert within his spectrum a thing you

2:18:36know it's tough a lot of yes and no answers I thought he was great

2:18:40yeah but I loved him you know and he knew I loved him I was

2:18:43always a giant fan of his so it was like I think it was pretty

2:18:46easy I wear a Gilbert Gottfried shirt in the special that's cool ultimate tribute he

2:18:51was a sweetheart so sweet guy so fucking funny too goddamn that guy was funny

2:18:56I used to love watching his sets in New York the best especially like in

2:19:01the 90s where no one knew who he was like oh my god he's such

2:19:05a killer one of his last times on stage I was at an improv in

2:19:12Florida and he came with his family and he came on as a surprise guest

2:19:17he walked out and he told this long crazy joke about skull fucking his dead

2:19:21grandma so at his funeral at his funeral like a year and a half later

2:19:30I said Gilbert's comedy was fearless and ruthless and subversive yet he was so lovable

2:19:35that he could get us to laugh at a joke about skull fucking a dead

2:19:39person and then I looked at his coffin and I said not so funny now

2:19:42huh Gilbert so I love Gilbert we've had the very unique opportunity to be around

2:19:51some really truly exceptional people rare rare human beings you know and so many of

2:19:56them you know we're so rich in our associations with so many completely unusual people

2:20:03you know here's one more Gilbert story okay one time we were roasting Joan Rivers

2:20:09I was producing it and I booked Gilbert and I'm on the phone I'm smoking

2:20:14a joint and I go I got one joke I like but I can't do

2:20:17it he goes what is it I go well you know like you know Kanye

2:20:22West's mom had recently died during a plastic surgery procedure it was the background and

2:20:28and uh I go Joan Rivers Gilbert you know Joan Rivers uh Kanye's mom has

2:20:35a better plastic surgeon than you and uh and uh I go but I can't

2:20:39do that and Gilbert goes I'll do it and that's what I realized I was

2:20:44being a pussy and I had to do it so I did it so he

2:20:47pushed me that's awesome that's awesome he's a really special special guy we're lucky dudes

2:20:54Jeff we really are we're lucky and especially now that we know all these people

2:20:58that we just talked about that were amazing that are gone we're lucky we're still

2:21:01here being a comedian is like a backstage pass to the world you get to

2:21:06see things you never would see as a civilian it's true that I just went

2:21:11to Qatar Djibouti Africa you're in Djibouti what were you doing Djibouti you did stand

2:21:18up there for the troops Christmas with the vice chairman of the joint chiefs saw

2:21:24the Patriot missiles that they're using just a few months ago wow that's nuts you

2:21:33get to see and when you're with the vice chairman you you're sometimes you're on

2:21:37FOBs they call them forward operating bases they don't even tell you where you are

2:21:41exactly oh wow you know you're like 80 miles from the Iranian border somewhere in

2:21:47Kuwait or Qatar or Jordan it's so cool wild you've always done a lot of

2:21:54stuff with the troops you've been doing that from way back from like the early

2:21:592000s 2003 my first trip to Iraq with Drew Carey wow yeah he took me

2:22:06in 2003 Saddam was still alive I went back in 05 I've done probably a

2:22:12hundred of those shows all over the world wow it's the best man that's why

2:22:17I'm a comedian that's the best feeling that's the best feeling they say oh thanks

2:22:23for coming and I'm like thank you man just forget that I'm like entertaining you

2:22:27know you're doing a show for people who are starved for entertainment it fills me

2:22:31up like it it it it invigorates me it's just they're not drinking they're the

2:22:39best crowds right I highly recommend it that's awesome all right dude uh your special

2:22:47isn't out yet tonight tonight look at you a Netflix comedy special longest special Netflix

2:22:54ever did you got the Bobby Brown microphone on I sing I sing a song

2:23:02salty sweet sour mix look at that outfit it's a suit of armor this guy

2:23:09this guy poor guy lost his hands in an explosion oh geez I asked him

2:23:14why his wife never got finger banged jesus it's a multimedia show about my family

2:23:23about resilience about bouncing back are those screens on the back wall a bunch of

2:23:28different screens are those screens are those screens are those screens are those screens are

2:23:28those screens You're welcome. And they show different things on them?

2:23:30Yeah, the dogs. Oh, that's cool.

2:23:32You're going to love this show.

2:23:33I'm sure I'll love it.

2:23:34It's about some of the stuff we were talking about, like when you take a

2:23:37hit, getting back up. That's awesome.

2:23:41And what's it called again?

2:23:42It's called Take a Banana for the Ride.

2:23:44When I was an open -miker, I would take my grandfather to his doctor appointments,

2:23:50and then at night I would go in New York and try to get on

2:23:53stage at the open mics, and my grandfather would give me a few dollars for

2:23:56the bus and tolls and a banana.

2:23:58Take a banana for the ride.

2:24:00Kind of his way of saying, I can't go with you, but I'm there with

2:24:03you on the ride. I just tattooed a banana with my mom's...

2:24:09would write I love you or I miss you and put them in my school

2:24:12lunches, so I found an old letter with her handwriting and made a tattoo, so

2:24:17now I always have a banana.

2:24:20This is what Eddie Vedder drew.

2:24:22It says, born to roast.

2:24:23Oh, that's cool. All right, it's out now.

2:24:28Ladies and gentlemen, go watch it.

2:24:30Jeff Ross, I love you, buddy.

2:24:31Love you, Rob. Thank you.

2:24:32Good to see you. Bye, everybody.

2:24:36Bye, everybody. Two teams, one cup.

2:24:49The primetime stage is set for the TGL presented by SoFi Finals, Los Angeles Golf

2:24:54Club versus Tigers Jupiter Lynx.

2:24:55Keep up, it's playoffs. Tune in Monday, March 23rd, 9 p .m.

2:24:59Eastern on ESPN2, and Tuesday, March 24th, 7 p .m.

2:25:03Eastern on ESPN and on the ESPN app.

2:25:06What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy?

2:25:13It's the real California farm families behind it.

2:25:17Real people, real care, real intention.

2:25:21Why? Because real matters. So whether you're pouring milk, melting the cheese, or just grabbing

2:25:28one more spoonful of yogurt, keep it real.

2:25:31Look for the seal. Real California milk by real California farm families.

#2472 - Jeff Ross