The Tudor Dixon Podcast: Detransitioner Speaks Out on Gender Medicine & Regret
4/17/202640 mincomplete
0:00This is an iHeart Podcast.
0:02Guaranteed human. Welcome to the Tudor Dixon Podcast.
0:06We have a very interesting story today.
0:09We are actually blessed to have a detransitioner with us to kind of walk us
0:13through how this is happening to kids and why she's speaking out about it now.
0:18It actually has a lot to do with love.
0:20And I want to talk to you about that too.
0:22I need 60 seconds of your time to talk about love, generosity, and compassion.
0:27We say those words all the time.
0:29They sound great. They feel good.
0:31But here's the truth. Those words don't mean anything unless they turn into action.
0:36Right now, not later today, not tomorrow, there is a child in the world who
0:40doesn't know if they're going to eat, if they'll have a chance to learn, or
0:43if there's any hope at all.
0:45And while we're busy and while life keeps moving, that child is waiting.
0:49And this is where you come in.
0:51With Compassion International, you have the chance to change a child's future, not with words,
0:56not with promises, but with real help that provides food, education, and hope through local
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1:07Introduce a child to a loving Heavenly Father today at Compassion .com.
1:12That's Compassion .com. Today, I have Sorin Aldaco with me.
1:18She is a detransitioner who is suing her medical providers in Texas.
1:23She's also the Texas Ambassador for Independent Women.
1:28This is very, very interesting, what I've seen from you.
1:34I want to say first and foremost, Sorin, you are so brave because people are
1:39not willing to do this.
1:40So thank you so much for talking about this.
1:42Yeah, thank you. Thank you for having me.
1:44I saw that you were on with Laura Ingram.
1:47And before we got on, we were talking about it's such a hard subject, because
1:51I do think that there are a lot of people who think that anyone who
1:55comes out and says, hey, my experience was not good, is doing it for the
2:00shock and awe of it.
2:02But when you drill down into some of these stories, people need to absolutely hear
2:07the truth. And on this podcast, we've been kind of brutally open about doctors have
2:14made decisions for children that have cost them lifelong pain and suffering.
2:20Yeah, yeah, that's absolutely true.
2:22And that's the unfortunate part is it is lifelong, even though those decisions take minutes
2:27sometimes. So that's very interesting.
2:30One of the reasons I think that I've taken an interest in protecting kids is
2:37I am a breast cancer survivor.
2:40So I'm also someone who had a double mastectomy.
2:43And my situation was obviously like, you know, do this or you're going to die.
2:47And I feel like they told you that, too, but it was different, you know.
2:52But I also know what it is like to be on the other side of
2:56that. And and that is it is it is a loss and it's a suffering
3:01and it's an unnecessary loss for you.
3:04Yeah, absolutely. And unfortunately, you're not the first breast cancer survivor who's had a double
3:11mastectomy that I've met. He's expressed that similar sentiment of, you know, I know what
3:16you went through, yet yours was unnecessary.
3:18And you were told the same things I was.
3:20That's an unfortunate commonality. And I will say at the time, right, it was it
3:25felt joyful because of the way that the culture was telling me I needed this
3:29thing and the way that I'd internalized that that telling.
3:33But now that I'm on the other side and I've detransitioned, I'm about four and
3:37a half years out from that now.
3:38It's definitely a morning that I feel like only other women who have gone through
3:43this can really understand and resonate with.
3:48It really is. I I think that the we've heard a lot we've heard a
3:53lot from detransitioners. But I think the thing that has been striking to me and
3:57I think you've spoken about this, too, is suddenly that story has been people seem
4:03to be a little bit more open about when they started into this world.
4:08When they got involved in this world, there was a real strong sexualization from adults
4:13that was pulling them in.
4:15Tell us a little bit about that.
4:17I think for a lot of us, it starts with early sexualization.
4:21I know that for me, being a part of Gen Z and on the older
4:25side of that, growing up at the very beginnings of the world wide web, it
4:31was easy to fall into the cracks where our parents maybe had used AOL and
4:36been in chat rooms but didn't understand where those chat rooms had gone in the
4:40years since. And so I was groomed when I was 11 years old in online
4:44chat rooms. And so that was the first sexualization.
4:47And I think as I became more of an older adolescent and a young adult,
4:53the way that there was so much focus on my body parts and in needing
4:59to change these surgically and hormonally, I think that it's a different kind of sexualization.
5:04But you make a great point that in a sense, it's a sexualization nonetheless, that
5:08there is this psychological, psychiatric experience that a young person is having.
5:14And all of a sudden it becomes about their body parts and maybe they introduce
5:18that idea. And sometimes, unfortunately, it's introduced by clinicians.
5:22So that's been what's striking to me lately because...
5:25Ultimately, it seems interesting that the push is that you want to change yourself so
5:31that you are physically attractive differently, but also sexually.
5:37And then ultimately, this change in many cases makes it so that you can never
5:42actually have a sexual relationship.
5:43It's bizarre. It's about aesthetics.
5:45And unfortunately, the impact of pursuit of those aesthetics is not itself aesthetic, right?
5:52Yeah, you're right. It's much deeper than the surface.
5:55It has been stunning to me.
5:57So I was listening to I was on spring break last week and sometimes, you
6:01know, you're like doom scrolling.
6:03And I came across this young man who was talking about the Supreme Court's decision
6:07on conversion therapy, which the Supreme Court just came out and said that this is,
6:12you know, this suppresses people's First Amendment rights.
6:15And so, therefore, you can't ban conversion therapy.
6:18His story is interesting. And I know you know him, Johnny Skinner.
6:23I found it very interesting because he talked about the fact that he came from
6:27a very religious home and in the area that he lived in, grew up in,
6:32which I think is pretty close to where I am.
6:34And so I understand this is like a kind of like the Bible belt of
6:38the Midwest. And so he was this young gay boy and that was unacceptable.
6:45So they pushed him into doctors that then immediately said, well, you'd be more comfortable
6:52as a woman. So then you don't have to be gay, which is interesting because
6:56he is speaking against people trying to get around what the Supreme Court did.
7:01So he's still saying there should not be a ban on conversion therapy because he
7:07feels that they were trying to convert him from gay to trans, even though he
7:12comes from a household where they clearly were very faithful.
7:16And that it was it was it was not exactly a welcoming place for being
7:21gay. But I think that pushed his family into this position where they were like,
7:26OK, well, then they could agree with the doctor that then he could be a
7:31wife. It's so it's just such a hard message to wrap your mind around.
7:38Yeah, there's definitely a lot of gymnastics and I've I've not gotten the opportunity to
7:43talk to Johnny's parents, so I don't know precisely what they were thinking.
7:46But from my conversations with him, that sentiment of I'm going to be better off
7:51this way, I can be normal this way.
7:53It's unfortunately one that's not exclusive to him.
7:56I mean, we see this in the Middle East, for example, some some countries and
7:59cultures there will be OK with transition, but have, you know, death penalties and really
8:05severe punishments for homosexuality. So being able to appear as if you are a normal
8:10heterosexual individual, it's worth it to them sacrificing some of that that sexual ability that
8:19you mentioned before, even just the overall health, which is what Johnny talks about a
8:23lot. It's really interesting to hear because we've been it's kind of been drilled into
8:28us that to be supportive of the LGBTQ or even the gay community, you have
8:35to be very pro trans.
8:36And yet here we are finding out that in some cases, trans has been very
8:42anti -gay. Yeah, I think for it, what's interesting here is there's almost two sides
8:48or two components. Rather, there is the component of being outright against the being gay
8:53and the homosexuality. And I think underneath that, there's the second concern around people just
9:00existing outside of the clear cut norms for their particular sex.
9:03So even if they're not gay, being a man who is more expressive and prefers
9:08to wear flowy clothing or being a woman who wants to play sports past that
9:13tomboyishness that many girls experience in their early teens.
9:16So I think that it's it's definitely a little bit of both the homosexuality and
9:21the gender nonconformity. And it's unfortunate it becomes medicalized.
9:25So tell us your story, because it seems like it's it can also be a
9:29situation where puberty is just hard.
9:32It's just a hard time.
9:34And you mentioned that you had access to chat rooms that certainly my generation didn't.
9:40That wasn't a thing, you know.
9:41So I think in many cases, my generation doesn't know how to shepherd our kids
9:47through this. And and your generation is getting pulled into some dark places that predators
9:55are there. I mean, there is a reality that there are predators also.
10:00And maybe it's maybe you don't feel like it was predators.
10:03Tell me your story. Do you feel like there were predators there?
10:06Yeah, there were absolutely predators there.
10:08And you make an interesting point, too, about your generation not really being familiar with
10:12these chat rooms. I remember my mom and my biological father actually met over AOL.
10:18And what's funny is back then it was people in your locality.
10:22It was people somewhat nearby.
10:23It just makes me laugh because, like, I can remember the sound of dialing up
10:28to AOL, like, you know, and that was so archaic compared to what you see.
10:35I'm sorry, I interrupted you, but no, you're fine.
10:38And you're but that's a great point, because the chat rooms I was getting into
10:41were on my 3DS. They were on my handheld Nintendo device.
10:45No. What? Yeah, they were.
10:48How? I didn't even know there was a thing.
10:50That was a thing. Yeah.
10:52So you have the DS.
10:53right which was the first after the game boy and then you have the dsi
10:56where the i stood for internet the 3ds was just an a dsi that had
11:01a 3d screen on the top but yeah there was a browser and you could
11:06you could go anywhere and there's parental controls of course one could apply but my
11:11mom was working all the time and my stepdad was disabled and i was very
11:15bright so i put the parental controls on my own unit because i didn't want
11:18to have screen limits for example so that was where i i was groomed um
11:24pictures chats just really inappropriate stuff being taken advantage of by predators what what kind
11:31of stuff i mean like if you're a parent what kind of stuff could your
11:35kid when you say pictures they were sending you pictures of like this is what
11:38a transition is like or other things no well this was before the trans identity
11:43this was almost what set me up for the trans identity they were soliciting me
11:47for pictures of myself and when i was role -playing on my ds like through
11:53drawings right just anime characters cartoons with other kids my age maybe some older teens
11:58i didn't realize that when i when that platform was shut down in part because
12:03adults were taking advantage of minors on it that the other chat rooms i would
12:07find were almost exclusively um those adults who were who were role -playing the more
12:12highness the more adult things and so my love for anime my love for cartoons
12:16was then taken advantage of it started out with okay well role -play this this
12:21anime with me like these characters from this anime to well could you send me
12:25a photo of of what we just role -played and that's totally fine for you
12:28to do it's just between us i mean it's the pretty it's the the script
12:32we hear in culture about how young people are groomed it starts very small and
12:36when you're you're little and you don't have the wisdom to to really discern in
12:41these moments right like adults have it it sneaks up on you it's like the
12:45frog being boiled i was in the pot and so feeling discomfort with my body
12:51following that experience which is totally understandable that's not a disordered response to that experience
12:55at all i was harmed i wanted to prevent further harm i hid myself i
13:00became friends with uh another little girl who we we e -dated we considered each
13:06other our girlfriends in a romantic relationship and she began identifying as trans and the
13:10way she described it as just feeling really uncomfortable with her body and in particular
13:15uncomfortable with the female role that really really uh resonated with me which is not
13:22an uncommon response to having been abused and essentially what you are describing is an
13:28adult abusing you and then becoming uncomfortable with your body because you think like this
13:34is why i mean there's like this internalizing of they wanted this so i feel
13:40like i need to cover this and make myself unappealing so it doesn't happen again
13:45and it's not necessarily a conscious understanding of that but i think that is kind
13:49of how the human psyche protects you yes absolutely that is a well -known under
13:54under well understood thing within psychology yet it seems to to be an exception here
14:00the way that transgender identity is treated so how did that how did you then
14:05jump to do you think that the the the girlfriend that you had online was
14:12then you kind of thought well if she is identifying as trans then maybe that's
14:17something that i can do as well yeah that's exactly what i thought was okay
14:21this is a type of person and someone close to me who i relate to
14:25because at that age a lot of at least in my experience my attraction to
14:30other little girls was this girl is like me i really like her i want
14:34to be like her and um i i misinterpreted that as the same attraction that
14:38adults have to one another but nonetheless i i did see a lot of myself
14:42in her so when she came to that realization just like with any other socially
14:46contagious thing you realize this is a possibility for you and and in some cases
14:50you you adopt it it's interesting so you do feel that it was a social
14:56contagion because when i was in my teens and 20s there was quite a bit
15:02of anorexia going around especially in college and it would be and you could actually
15:06in my i didn't live in my sorority house but there were rooms of like
15:12two and then there were rooms of four or five girls and there were some
15:15of the rooms where both people or all five were extraordinarily unhealthy and skinny and
15:23and you knew it was happening you knew it was it became a competition of
15:26like who could be more who could eat less who could and i just wonder
15:30if that is almost a similar thing with this which is also psychological you know
15:35these are we're talking about two psychological disorders here where you can become very competitive
15:41which seems weird but it is a fact that it can become competitive do you
15:45think that it's like the transgender thing is like i'm just as transgender as you
15:51is there something kind of in the back of your mind that's trying to make
15:55sure that you're keeping up with the other i think subconsciously for a lot of
15:59people yes i know that that was true in my case and when you look
16:03at just the general psychology of young girls and teenagers and women there is that
16:09subconscious competition and it's not out of the ordinary it makes a lot of sense
16:14when you look at our our evolutionary history and our our just position as a
16:18species we are socially contagious you on everything from yawning to divorce right and divorce
16:25is socially contagious up to two degrees separate from you so a friend of a
16:28friend getting divorced could influence your own decisions there and so when it came to
16:33body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria in in my case which is very similar right with
16:39the anorexia stuff it's all focused on the body and how the body isn't right
16:42and how you can do certain things to make that body better those girls that
16:46you were in your sorority probably weren't directly saying oh i can eat less than
16:50you it was likely that that subconscious comparison of i need to be as good
16:55as this other person i need to have it as figured out i need to
16:58be as in control of my narrative of being my true authentic self and um
17:03yeah that wasn't exclusive to me so then you started hormone replacement therapy you were
17:1017 when that started i was 17 yes let's take a quick commercial break we'll
17:15continue next on the tudor dixon podcast so really you're talking about those formative years
17:24i mean all through middle school and high school you're kind of struggling with identity
17:29which i think generally people of that age are struggling with what they're going to
17:35be and how they're forming and how they're going through puberty but you're actually kind
17:41of losing those years to this concern of like should i be a different gender
17:46yeah and what's interesting there is that's actually my research background i'm a graduate student
17:51i study human development and there's this really cool theorist james marcia who talks about
17:57it in terms of identity crisis how it's very typical for adolescents to try on
18:02many hats to engage deeply with different identities to figure out what they like most
18:07and in some cases identity becomes foreclosed you have you accept an identity very early
18:13on to the point that it doesn't let you explore we see this with child
18:16actors right who begin in their career when they're sometimes 11 12 13 years old
18:22and then when they turn 18 or 19 and they have control over themselves like
18:26you know the crap hits the fan and all of a sudden they're like twerking
18:29or doing all these other absurd things and i think transgender identity functions like that
18:34for many of us so what how did you get to i mean this is
18:40happening online you at some point have to tell your parents i want to go
18:44get this hormone replacement therapy or that i'm going to start identifying as a boy
18:49going from the online to eventually having your breasts removed is a big deal how
18:55did how did the conversations with doctors go that's a great question because it did
19:01stay very diffuse for a while the trans identity for me when i was 11
19:0612 right this was in role play environments largely sometimes with other kids at school
19:11eventually some teachers calling you my preferred name but nothing anything too serious and when
19:18i met my biological father and my stepmom for the first time at age 15
19:22that was when things became serious i had this big fight with my stepdad right
19:28he was disabled and i wanted to drive the car home i was learning how
19:31to drive and he he couldn't deal with the pain that day of how a
19:34teenager drives we all know we're not that great and so i went to the
19:38hospital i was freaking out and while inpatient i was i spoke to a psychiatrist
19:43who was there to evaluate me and see what drugs they needed to put me
19:46on and all of that and i remember he pointed out that the name on
19:50my chart was different from the name on the door and i mean i'm sitting
19:54there i have short hair i have a nose ring that i've hidden up inside
19:57my nose i'm wearing a chest binder big old hoodie it's obvious something's up with
20:02me and he pushes and he pushes and i'm thinking okay i'm not going to
20:06talk about the trans thing until i'm an adult i don't want my parents to
20:08know i don't think they would ever you know entertain that idea so i'm going
20:13to do whatever interventions i want to do when i'm an adult on my own
20:16and um he doesn't really accept my lack of answer and he pushes and we
20:21get to talking about the summer camp that i went to growing up it was
20:24this gifted kid summer camp um through duke university and there i was living fully
20:30as a boy i mean i was being housed with the girls but i was
20:33being included in the boys activities all the counselors and students called me he him
20:36and my boy name and when we got to talking about that you know he
20:41said you know some people some people they they don't identify necessarily with their gender
20:48and you can tell me and it's it's i don't remember the exact words but
20:52he very much like i knew what he was asking of me and when i
20:57i asked him you know you're not going to tell my parents right like if
21:00i tell you right now can it be between us and he said yes um
21:03and i made that disclosure he turned around he told my parents anyway and he
21:06told them in fact that all of my problems that my depression and such were
21:10related to my transgender identity and though my mom and my stepdad who had raised
21:14me put their foot down within the family and said no that's we thought maybe
21:19she'd be attracted to girls but this boy thing is too much my dad and
21:23my stepmom started to affirm that identity and were taking me to support groups which
21:28ultimately fruited in a nurse practitioner who was going to those support groups wait so
21:33this all happened the same day you met your dad your biological dad for the
21:37first time within a month i was going to the hospital and then within the
21:42next two years i met them at 15 turned 16 freshly after that was when
21:46i medically transitioned And no psychologist at that time said, there's a lot going on
21:55in your life right now.
21:56You are not only going through puberty, but you're just meeting your biological father for
22:01the first time. And I mean, that is a very natural response to have anger
22:06toward your stepfather when you are.
22:09And I'm sure the meeting was kind of exhilarating and exciting.
22:12I mean, so how does any professional not say, I'm just like mind blown that
22:20this feels very much like a betrayal.
22:23Like they took advantage of the situation that you were in in your life and
22:28pushed you instead of, and this is where I think like the conversations and talk
22:35therapy, not from the standpoint of like, let me talk you into something else, but
22:40just talk about what's going on.
22:42Talk about what was it like to meet your father for the first time.
22:45I feel like there should have been some discussion and understanding of what that was
22:52for you. Yeah. And that's a great question.
22:54And feel free to hop in because I'll tell you my story.
22:57And if you have any questions, I'm happy to pause.
22:59But I feel that way now in hindsight, right?
23:03That it was obvious what was going on and that it's incredible.
23:08No one spoke up to the family, the family part of it, right?
23:11What I think might've been happening because there's a through line, right?
23:15There's a through line within my providers of them all having some kind of personal
23:19stakes in the transgender identity, whether that is an ex -spouse in the case of
23:23my therapist who wrote the letter for my mastectomy or a trans child in the
23:28case of the nurse practitioner who prescribed me hormones.
23:30And I think even that first therapist I saw right after being impatient, I don't
23:36know that she had any personal stakes, but she had this desire to let me
23:40lead the conversation. There was a lot of white knighting, if you know what that
23:43means. Like this idea of these people wanted to be saviors.
23:46They wanted to do what was right.
23:47And so there was no pause.
23:49It was almost like they were scratching their own itch of being a good person
23:52instead of being a good person and asking the hard questions.
23:56I mean, in the medical field, it's almost like when you're an outsider and you
24:03hear these stories, it's like catching a rare butterfly.
24:06And they're like, we've got one.
24:08We've got the only one.
24:10Now we can do something with it.
24:11And it's just like in their minds, they can take you to that next level.
24:15And it almost feels very experimental.
24:18Yeah, it was. I was patient zero in a lot of my circles.
24:22I knew one other trans -identified person in person when I was in middle school.
24:27And when I went to high school, I was online.
24:30So at that point, I don't know what happened.
24:32That was in 2018, which I believe was the start of what we saw peak
24:36during COVID, right, as far as trans identification is concerned.
24:39But I do feel like I was treated as exotic.
24:42And a lot of trans activists point that out.
24:44Like there is a lot of awareness, even within the trans community, that, you know,
24:47we're treated as those of us who go through these treatments are treated as we're
24:51so special. And there's both a reverence for it, right?
24:53Of like, yeah, like we are, we do need attention and we do need you
24:56to listen to our voices and our stories.
24:58But there's also the like, can't we just be normal people?
25:01It's that cognitive dissonance. But doesn't also every 15 -year -old want to be the
25:06main character of the story?
25:07Right. And so you're kind of playing into that.
25:11Absolutely. And that's what's dangerous is I think one of the important parts of being
25:15in a young person's life is setting them straight sometimes.
25:18Like they need to be told no, they need to realize there are boundaries, there
25:21are, you know, consequences. And that doesn't mean you have to be unnecessarily harsh about
25:26it. But I find it compassionate to set limits because limits are a reality of
25:29adulthood. So you had the, the, your breasts removed at 19, but now you're in
25:37your 20s and you've decided that that was a mistake, that that shouldn't have happened.
25:43How did you get there?
25:44I mean, this, cause it's, it seems like you're, I mean, I look at this
25:48and I'm like, you're very close to 19, you know, you, so you're very mature.
25:52I mean, something happened. How did that, how did you realize that was not what
25:56you should have done? I think for me in the same way, it was multiple
26:01pieces that came together to form the picture of my trans identity.
26:05It was multiple pieces that came together to form the picture of my detransition.
26:08So I was taking classes where I learned about our species biologically.
26:13I was taking classes where I learned about how culture forms and how young people
26:18are really guided by role models when it comes to figuring out who they are.
26:22And I realized, okay, I don't really have a whole lot of role models in
26:27my life, uh, good or bad.
26:29And I was getting most of that modeling from the internet.
26:31So when you combine that with the massive complications I experienced following my mastectomy, the
26:36fact that my doctors, uh, gaslit and then ghosted me when the complications arose.
26:41And I had to be treated ironically by breast oncologists, people who do deal with
26:45vulnerable women all the time in order to get healthy again, I realized, okay, there
26:50is a lot of nefarious intention with the money, with the insurance on the, on
26:59the medical side. And then culturally there's a better path forward.
27:03I don't have to change everything about myself to be myself.
27:06And in fact, if I can put myself aside for a moment, I could be
27:11a role model, uh, for other little girls and boys, even in, in a way
27:16that. I didn't have. Did they put you on hormones?
27:21Who? When you were in your teenage years, when you were 15 and you started
27:27talking to these doctors, did they put you on?
27:29Were you ever on hormones?
27:30Yeah, I was on hormones at age 17.
27:32That nurse practitioner that we met through the support group, he gave them to me
27:3630 minutes, informed consent without the consent of my biological mother, who is my only
27:40legal guardian. What did you what would your mom have said?
27:45No. I mean, she knew about the trans identity after that psychiatrist told her, right?
27:51But she I hadn't told her myself, so she was going to let it lie.
27:55She was going to let me tell her.
27:57And eventually I did. And, you know, she expressed like, I believe you and, you
28:01know, I don't understand it.
28:02I'm willing to support you.
28:03But she never threw her all into enabling me.
28:07Like she never took me to the support group.
28:09She never took me to the doctor visit.
28:11She never did any of those things that facilitated the more permanent consequences.
28:18As a mom of two teenage girls, I will almost four because my twins are
28:2512. But I have a 14 year old and a 16 year old.
28:28And I think people hear this and they go, you know, how did mom not
28:33step in? But what you just said to me is really powerful, because I think
28:37that when your kids are when your daughters, especially are in those like 15 and
28:43beyond years. They're very defiant, you know, that's the time when they are they are
28:49deciding what I mean, they're transitioning into adulthood.
28:53And there's this, you know, natural separation between you and your parents at that point.
28:58And it can be hard.
28:59And I think as mom, you are like, I don't want them to push me
29:04away. So I'm not going to rock the boat.
29:06I'll get through this. We'll come back together.
29:09You know, we're just we're going to see how this goes.
29:11Because I think a lot of people criticize parents in these roles.
29:16And I understand that when the kid is two years old and mom is telling
29:22everybody that the kid is trans.
29:24But I think that when a especially I mean, as a mom of girls, when
29:28a 15 or 16 year old comes to you, you're very cautious about how you
29:32approach this to to not drive them away.
29:36Yeah, I think that that's exactly what my mom was thinking.
29:39I think it's a little different for my stepmom and biological father because they weren't
29:45present in my life growing up.
29:46Even that is a complex situation.
29:48We see it all the time in families of divorce, right, where the children are
29:53almost triangulated between the two sides.
29:56And so I have a lot of understanding for that as well.
29:59It's a difficult thing to be a parent and it's, you know, your first time
30:03being a person. So I can I can definitely feel for them, even though I
30:08do feel like they maybe made some bad decisions along the way.
30:12You think your stepmom made bad decisions?
30:15I do. I do think she made bad decisions.
30:17And unfortunately, we're not in contact today because there was no ownership of those decisions,
30:23at least in not in the way that I was ever accusatory.
30:25But I think it's going to be really difficult for the parents of these young
30:30people who are transitioned young, who do facilitate the transitions, sometimes for very personal, sometimes
30:37selfish reasons, to walk back, to admit harm, to have that real heart to heart
30:43talk with children. And especially because children are going to feel wrong when they realize
30:47that, you know, maybe they were two years old and their parents said yes to
30:52puberty blockers and hormones before they could ever, you know, get a get a car
30:57and get a driver's license.
30:59But I think in that case, there were some bad decisions made, especially when it
31:02came to being new in my life and making decisions that really needed the full
31:08context of having been there before.
31:11Did she have children? I have one little sister, yes, who was five years old
31:16when I met her. She's 10 years younger than me.
31:18So it's I think having that maternal instinct that was true, that was present.
31:24I think, though, in some ways, and this goes back to, I think, some of
31:27the altruistic. I'll use that word right now.
31:32Altruistic motivations of some of these individuals that not having been present in my life,
31:38it almost made up for it to give me what I wanted to do everything
31:41they could to make my life easy.
31:42And that's the unfortunate cultural part we have to pay attention to, is that these
31:47parents, even the ones who are affirming, even the ones who make bad decisions, who
31:51act sometimes selfishly, they're being fueled by this lack of regard for how the messaging
31:58we're seeing on social media, how these big nonprofits like the ACLU are talking about
32:03this issue. That's where a lot of the irresponsibility lies, in my opinion.
32:08So when did you, after you had the surgery, and then at some point you
32:15decided, this isn't who I am?
32:18Was it when you realized, you said it was botched.
32:20What happened after the surgery?
32:22I had really bad hematoma, so just really bad pooling of blood in my chest.
32:27I had a drain -free procedure, which is only done on transgender patients.
32:32It's not done on oncology patients for good reason.
32:34How is that even possible?
32:36It's some suture method, I think.
32:38And a lot of other surgeons who even do gender -affirming mastectomies have written out
32:42against it. The one who has...
32:44helped with my follow -up care.
32:45I'd written papers advising against that methodology.
32:48But when the complications arose and the blood was trapped in my chest and I
32:53was getting an infection, I had a fever and I just, I felt horrible.
32:56And I reached out to my providers.
32:58They insisted, you know, like, I don't know what's wrong here.
33:01I don't know what you want me to see.
33:03And they didn't really take it seriously whatsoever.
33:08I had four drains. I mean, it's the same surgery.
33:13Yeah. And that, that was what, um, that was the shock that I felt from
33:18the breast oncology team who ended up helping stabilize me.
33:21They had to cut my scars back open.
33:24And so in Penrose drains, which is a very primitive form of drain and not
33:27the one you would typically have following these surgeries, but I had to self -express
33:30that blood from my chest cavity for another week.
33:33And it just, it totally, I think in that moment, seeing their shock, it was
33:37one of those seeds that was planted for me that, okay, this is real medicine.
33:40We're treating it as cosmetic.
33:41It goes back to that.
33:42What we were talking about at the very beginning, right?
33:44This idea that it's medical procedures driven by aesthetics, but far from aesthetic and their
33:50outcome. It's not surface level.
33:51It's real, you know, cuts you're making into your, your otherwise healthy body.
33:56In my case, let's take a quick commercial break.
33:59We'll continue next on the Tudor Dixon podcast.
34:04I'm keeping you too long and your story is so fascinating.
34:08I just, I just want to really quick say you, so you've started to speak
34:12out against this. What is your message?
34:14I know that the, that anybody who speaks out against it, you get a lot
34:19of hate and there's a lot of anger toward detransitioners.
34:23I've seen it online. Why it's, it was, you, you've had, you've gone through so
34:29much in your young life.
34:31Why push so hard now to try to talk to other people about why you
34:36want to do, why you're, you have detransitioned?
34:39Well, I've been passionate about having conversations my entire life.
34:44I think now that I've gotten some of that wisdom from my experience, it's what
34:51I was saying earlier, right?
34:52Adolescents and children don't have the same discernment that adults do.
34:56Now that I have that adult discernment, I find it important to take what I've
35:00experienced and alchemize it into something that can maybe keep that conversation going to make
35:06it richer, to have us really start to pick apart what has gone wrong here
35:11and what can we do better?
35:12It's what I like to do in the area of policy analysis, like looking at
35:15what is and isn't working and providing recommendations to change that.
35:19And, you know, when it comes to an experience like mine, only those who have
35:24had it can really dig into the nitty gritty details of it.
35:28So for me, it's just a part of that larger desire to make the world
35:32a better place. One that was, I think, misguided for a long time, one that
35:36was taken advantage of for a long time by gender ideology, but today is a
35:40little more internally anchored. So it's of me now.
35:45And that's why I like to speak out because it's not about me.
35:47And, you know, it's combining those two things.
35:50Do you think that puberty blockers and surgeries on kids should be stopped?
35:57I do think puberty blockers and surgeries on kids should be stopped.
36:01I don't think that medical interventions here are appropriate for an individual who is still
36:07very much exploring their identity.
36:08I think it can contribute greatly to that foreclosure we talked about earlier.
36:13And honestly, when it comes to something such as puberty, which is so fundamental to
36:18every other aspect of our health, I mean, any woman who is in perimenopause or
36:22menopause will tell you that, right?
36:23These hormones are important and you can't just...
36:26I can tell you that.
36:27You can't disrupt those and have no consequences, especially not when the foundations of your
36:32health are forming in adolescence.
36:35Just no. That is, to me, that's the craziest part because, you know, when you
36:41are my age and you've gone through all of this and having four kids and
36:45pregnancy and everything, and you know how your body has changed throughout all of that.
36:52And I think it's different for women because those hormones create so many, so many
36:57deep emotions and you're so vulnerable at different times, you know, at all different, at
37:02different times of the month.
37:03I mean, it's like, and I can see it in my own girls.
37:07Some of the younger girls were talking about how their older sisters are different at
37:11different times of the month.
37:12And it's like, you are, I mean, you just naturally are.
37:16And because of that, I think that women should be treated with very tender care
37:20and understanding and deep discussion over how their body is reacting to certain things.
37:26Because I am at that point now where I see those hormones not being there.
37:30And having gone through cancer, you know, I went on, I went on hormone suppressants,
37:35you know, so because my cancer was hormone positive.
37:39And so you, gosh, when you're a woman, you just know these hormones are so
37:44impactful and they change so much of how you react to things.
37:48And if I may ask, was it, were you on anastrozole for the hormone?
37:53Tamoxifen. See, they put me on an estrogen suppressant during, when I was taking the
37:58testosterone and it was one that was prescribed primarily to women who were estrogen receptive
38:02in their cancer. So not to pry, but when you said that, that was just
38:06another piece, but I appreciate you sharing all of that.
38:09No, it's so bizarre to me.
38:11Because when I came, because my cancer was hormone positive and receptive, they were, you
38:18know, we went through these discussions at Johns Hopkins about like, should I have a
38:21hysterectomy and what does that mean?
38:23And the interesting thing about that is I was 38 years old when I had
38:27cancer and they said to me very seriously to take out your uterus, to have
38:35a hysterectomy for you right now would be incredibly dangerous for your bones and your
38:40body. You would age so quickly and to take out all of everything that makes
38:45estrogen and progesterone, it would be the benefits do not outweigh the risk.
38:50I was 38, you know, I had had all my kids.
38:53I was already old and that was the message back then.
38:57Like, we don't want your body to age so quickly.
38:59It blows my mind that they do this to children.
39:02It blows my mind. The knowledge is there.
39:04The knowledge that these parts of our bodies matter more than just reproduction.
39:10Cosmetics? Yes, exactly what, I mean, I guess that is the thing that is mind
39:16-boggling about this is that if you haven't lived it, to your point, I think
39:21you can look at this and say, all of this is cosmetic and it's just
39:25making, you know, we can play with science here.
39:29We're built in a very specific way and we should not play with science in
39:33those cases. Oh, I thank you for being so open today.
39:37It's been very informative talking to you and I'm so impressed with your strength in
39:42going out and talking about this.
39:44Thank you so much and thank you for having me again.
39:46I appreciate it. Absolutely. Soren, tell people where they can find you.
39:49You can find me on X at Soren Aldaco or on my website, sorenaldaco .com.
39:57Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure and thank you all for listening to
40:01the podcast. As always, you can subscribe at TudorDixonPodcast .com.
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40:14And right now, go out there and have a blessed day.