The Manosphere Report

0:01Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

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0:19Good to see you, my friend.

0:20Yeah, you too. Young Jamie.

0:23So, I stopped you, we were getting coffee, I said, stop, hold this.

0:27So what were you saying?

0:28Which one first? The prostate one.

0:31Okay, so prostate one. Let's go straight to the dick.

0:33All right. That is not really the dick.

0:35It's like it's behind the dick.

0:36So, this would be... I'm an anatomist.

0:39It is behind the dick.

0:41Is that a word? Anatomist?

0:43Autopsy? So, bladder contains approximately 5 milliliters of cloudy yellow urine.

0:48The prostate is slightly and diffusely enlarged with marked enlargement of the verumontanum?

0:58That's how I would have said it.

1:00The testes are unremarkable. That's the last thing I wanted anybody to say about my

1:04nuts. I want them to say, wow, what a great pair.

1:09Great body, but the nuts are...

1:11Unremarkable. Unremarkable. Unremarkable. So, here is a...

1:15Some sort of discussion between him and someone.

1:19Okay. The guy says, exactly.

1:22Not clear. It affects hormones.

1:23Might have on that. Aren't replaced by testosterone.

1:26The advantage of taking testosterone.

1:28There are two different things.

1:29You can have high testosterone and still have a need for Viagra because you don't

1:34have a prostate, right? And then Epstein says, correct.

1:39And then at the bottom of this show, another documentary.

1:41Hold on. Let me keep going there.

1:43So, that's an extreme example.

1:46I was actually going to try and move up one level sort of drug -enhancing

1:50life. If you don't mind it.

1:52He doesn't mind it. I'm sort of outer space thinking.

1:55Oh, so he's trying to juice up.

1:56So, he's saying, I'm moving up one level of sort of drug -enhancing life.

2:02I don't know what... I think he means he's going to start juicing.

2:05That's what it sounds like.

2:07So, he doesn't have a prostate?

2:09He doesn't have a prostate, it says.

2:10There's another document that says something about it.

2:12After a radical prostatectomy. Prostatectomy.

2:19So, when they take out your prostate?

2:20But that doesn't necessarily say he had his.

2:23I think it's a document.

2:24But he said he doesn't have a prostate.

2:26And it says, patient Jeffrey Epstein.

2:29It says, according to the American Urological Association, serum PSA should decrease and remain at

2:36undetectable levels after radical prostatectomy.

2:39And there's other documents where he's contacting doctors that specialize in that very thing.

2:47Okay. So, the doctor saying he had a radical prostatectomy.

2:51He's saying he does not have a prostate.

2:54But yet, the body from the autopsy talks about the prostate is slightly and diffusely

3:04enlarged. So, that's not his body?

3:10That's what it seems like.

3:11I don't buy... You don't buy that?

3:13I don't buy his dead.

3:15Why would you... Right. I don't buy his dead either.

3:17Here's the other... But, however...

3:18Hold on. This is from an attorney.

3:21So, this is like assistant United States attorney or something.

3:25So, the OCME told me it signed a confidentiality agreement in connection with the investigation

3:32into the murder of Jeffrey Epstein.

3:35So, that's almost six months after he died.

3:39They're asking for a document about the investigation of the murder of Jeffrey Epstein.

3:44Was that because there was accusations that it was a murder?

3:47I don't, you know. So, we talked about this before that 18 days before he

3:52allegedly committed suicide, he complained that his cellmate tried to kill him.

3:57And you know who his cellmate is?

3:59Who? Oh, you don't know?

4:00No. His cellmate was this gigantic cop who was a murderer.

4:09He'd killed four different drug dealers.

4:12Yeah. He was a contract killer.

4:14This is the guy. That's his fucking cellmate.

4:17Look at that gorilla. That's a silverback.

4:21Yeah. Dirty cop. Murderer. And then they said, hmm, most high -profile witness of all

4:28time? Defendant of all time?

4:31Let's put him in jail with a murderer.

4:32A guy who contract kills.

4:34Dirty cop. And then he says, well, the report was they found him unresponsive with

4:41a noose around his neck.

4:42Or an orange jumpsuit turned into a rope around his neck.

4:46And then he said that his cellmate tried to kill him.

4:49My question. Does anyone really believe he was in a jail cell?

4:56Because I know if I had the guy that can unravel entire government dynasties and

5:06take down an entire system, the last thing.

5:10Dude, he's somewhere about three miles underground with maybe a ball in his mouth with

5:17electric rods. Or he's in Israel sipping Mai Tais.

5:22Correct. Either place, it's like, that video you said, you sent this on a runaround,

5:29we're going to ask you one more time, or then we're going to laser off

5:32your nipples. I'm telling you right now.

5:34Yeah, I doubt they're doing that to him.

5:36So it's, yeah, he's either in Israel, like you said.

5:39If they had that, they would just get rid of his body.

5:41You saw the picture of the so -called, that was him in Israel?

5:46I think that's AI. I think it's AI, too.

5:49That's a scary thing with AI.

5:50I think it even had a little AI watermark on it.

5:53The one I saw, at least.

5:54But who knows? It could be a real picture that someone put through AI to

5:58put a watermark on it so that people could go, oh, it's AI.

6:01Right. You don't know. Do you see the lady that they say looks exactly like

6:05Ghislaine Maxwell? I don't think she looks exactly like Ghislaine Maxwell.

6:08I think she looks exactly like Ghislaine Maxwell.

6:10Maxwell 20 years ago. It's a deepfake.

6:12It's a deepfake? Yeah. Oh, okay.

6:14Sam Tripoli reposted the guy that made it.

6:16Oh, that's crazy. He made another video too that was not as good where he's

6:18like looking at Benjamin Netanyahu on the street.

6:20It's not as nearly as good.

6:22I feel like the problem is the aging.

6:24She doesn't look aged. She looks younger.

6:25Yeah. She looks pretty too.

6:26But I guess that's what happens when you get out of jail.

6:29And you get more attractive.

6:31Yeah, you get food. You get sunlight.

6:33Makeup. A little exercise. Taking some yoga.

6:37Yeah. Is there any video of him in jail?

6:39Are there any photos of him in jail?

6:41I've never thought about that before.

6:42But what you're saying is a good point.

6:45Joe, if you held – let's say you were the person that had all this

6:51incredible information around the world, bribery.

6:54Do you really think – you take drug lords.

6:57You're not killing them. You need the information.

6:59So you're going to bring them somewhere.

7:01You're going to milk them to it, however that is, whether he's tied up, whether

7:05he's – You're going to torment him and be like, listen, I'm telling you right

7:08now, we're going to take care of you.

7:11However, I need to – you say there's tapes, right?

7:14Yeah. Wear the tapes. Write them down.

7:16And you're going to stay – don't feed him.

7:18Don't feed him until we get that one tape and we have these names in

7:23our hands. And that's probably been going on even for months, for years.

7:28You're not – you're not taking someone like that and going, oh, we're just going

7:33to put this very viable human being into a jail cell where – With a

7:38multiple murderer who was a contract killer.

7:39With two guys making $18 an hour are going to watch you.

7:43Who are sleeping. Come on, stop.

7:45When the cameras are down.

7:46Stop. They pre -production – all right, so let's get the green screen and we

7:49have him walking in here, sir, as that looks somewhat, and then we can release

7:53it down the road. It's processed Hollywood nonsense.

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9:11Okay, this is assuming, though, that he was working on his own, that he had

9:15all this information. So if he's not working on his own, he's working for an

9:19intelligence agency, then they have that information as well.

9:22So there are no secrets that he's holding.

9:25They have all the secrets.

9:26This is much more likely.

9:28So in order for him to be in the position that he was in, allegedly,

9:32working for intelligence agencies, working for either the Mossad, the CIA, or both, all the

9:39above, I would assume that along the way, all of the information was shared.

9:45I do not believe they would let one person have access to all that information

9:50and store it themselves. I think they would have access to it at every step

9:54of the way. They would communicate with him at every step of the way.

9:57And they would probably have, like, if I was running a government agency like that,

10:02I would say, tell me what's going on.

10:04What do you have on Bill Gates?

10:05What do you have on Les Wexner?

10:07What do you have on these guys?

10:09Yeah. What are they willing to do?

10:10What about these scientists? Yes.

10:11Are they willing to fill bogus science papers out?

10:15And what can we do?

10:17Jeffrey Epstein stashed secret files and storage unit across U .S.

10:23that may include never -before -seen evidence.

10:25Oh. So this came out yesterday that when he got arrested, he supposedly paid for

10:30investigators to go round up all of his stuff and put it in various storage

10:35units across the country. Like, it's a wild goose chase now.

10:37Oh. And, like, there's stuff apparently maybe no one's ever seen.

10:42They don't know if they're still being paid for.

10:43They don't know if anybody's - Imagine if they found - I mean, you know

10:45those storage unit shows? Exactly.

10:47Where they break into those storage unit shows?

10:49I don't understand - And it happened on the real -time one?

10:52Right. Like, they think they're just getting, like, old baseball cards.

10:55I heard those shows are bullshit.

10:56A friend of mine told me that what they do is they'll stock those shows.

11:00They'll stock those storage units.

11:01And then they pretend that they're buying the storage unit that's been abandoned.

11:05And then they get in there and then they find things.

11:06But those things were - Yeah.

11:09Fuck you. I don't buy any reality TV.

11:11I know, but that's awful.

11:12Well, it's entertainment. I feel duped.

11:15Do you really? I do.

11:17Joe, you really thought once in a while you thought it was real.

11:19Not the government corruption. Not all the Medicaid fraud.

11:23Not all the immigration fraud.

11:25Not all the ICE stuff.

11:27No, what really bugs me is lying on a storage unit show.

11:31I just can't. Or, like, a cash cab show.

11:35Like, are they really contestants?

11:37These are our great distractions.

11:38These are the great distractions to keep us from paying attention to what's really going

11:42on in the world. Reality TV.

11:44There's no reality. It's all well -produced show.

11:48Wow. How much is it well -produced?

11:50Here's the question. Is it really well -produced?

11:52Because it seems like this one was a really shitty production job.

11:55That was a production. That was a bad.

11:56That was, like, low, low.

11:58The only guy making it is the guy that's selling the ads.

12:00Well, not just the guy who's in charge of it fucks kids.

12:04Right? Oh, this one. Yeah.

12:06Yes. Well, if this one, why would you let that guy, who's going to eventually

12:10get caught, I would assume, if you have a thing for kids, you have a

12:15thing for, if you're a pedophile, if you're into, like, 14 -year -old girls, I

12:20would assume you're going to get caught.

12:22And if I had a guy like...

12:24that or was this at a time where you couldn't get caught because there was

12:30no internet and then it got to a point where he had so much power

12:34and control because he'd been there for so long they couldn't they're like oh jesus

12:38christ we got a problem well he's he's thinking the criminals they never think they're

12:45getting caught period especially like think organized crime if you're it's it's no different like

12:51the scenes from goodfellas right you come in and say what what's the matter with

12:55you i thought what you show up with a pink cadillac what's the matter with

12:58you right what's the matter with you they can't help it he told everyone don't

13:03spend the money don't look flashy he there this guy without a doubt his wife

13:08had a mink coat on remember that what actually right take it off take it

13:12off he gave it to me for my birthday take it off what's the matter

13:17with you and now that guy there's no this guy he's just the you remember

13:22when the steroids came out in baseball uh -huh and what they do they were

13:25like listen you gotta take a hit you gotta take a hit mark barry bonds

13:30you guys you're gonna go out we're gonna front you but don't worry you're gonna

13:33stay in baseball we'll let it it'll go away in about 10 years but the

13:38owners are not gonna get popped the people making this the steroids injected the people

13:43aren't gonna get popped they got popped balco got popped no they got little guys

13:48get popped the little ones no no the head of balco went to jail i

13:51had him on the podcast after he got out of jail what about the owners

13:54that knew it was good what about the agents and lawyers that are supplying their

13:58stuff no no no listen you don't understand about the baseball thing the balco had

14:03developed a state victor conti who had been on the podcast before yeah was a

14:06scientist essentially and he had developed a steroid that was undetectable because steroids they detect

14:13them based on certain molecules and if you adjust certain molecules it doesn't show up

14:18in the test so he developed this thing called the clear he called the clear

14:21because it evaded tests right this is to evade the test that the major league

14:26baseball association was doing and any any drug tests because this was an unknown steroid

14:32so this was not known by the organizations it was not known by the teams

14:37not known by anybody people suspected it because barry bonds through grew five hat sizes

14:42and gained 50 pounds of solid muscle people suspected it right but the bottom line

14:48is you don't know what you don't know and they didn't know there's no reason

14:52to tell them hey guys we're we're giving barry some secret steroids he did this

14:57for his own personal gain because he was brought to the attention of this victor

15:01conti guy who eventually became an anti -doping guy which is really weird he ran

15:06snack which is this thing that like helps people like uh detect testing and sure

15:11use it you know use supplements that are illegal sure but that i don't think

15:17that was known by everybody i think they kept it all on the dl because

15:20there was such a blight that was attached to steroid use you were a cheater

15:24especially in baseball which is like the american pastime be a cheater in baseball well

15:30i'll tell you this um i remember at that time uh because i was in

15:37the you were in tv world tv world and you attract all different types we

15:41did a show well you weren't on the show back then back on hardball the

15:45baseball yeah barry bonds was on hardball yeah he was on one of the episodes

15:50like third yes i remember seeing i remember seeing it because we'd sit and watch

15:53my wife and i'm like because we tried out for the same thing and i

15:57rooted well you were in the pilot yes i was in the pilot but i

15:59rooted for everyone i knew yeah i was like oh my god you've always been

16:03like that i loved that but back then like a couple years later he'd come

16:08friends with certain type of people and lawyers agents blah blah and i remember uh

16:17i remember one night hanging out you know kind of like wow this is so

16:22and so who i don't want to get into names and all that but they

16:25would go um you want to hear some crazy phone calls like what do you

16:30mean it's like boom and and they they told me 75 and i'm like what

16:3775 75 of what peds are on steroids i'm like what 75 80 baseball but

16:45come on there's no way come on and then he'd play a he'd play a

16:49phone message and i didn't want to say this for years because i thought i'd

16:52get whacked hey i love you so i remember them going here listen to this

17:01and you would hear like the wives on my life going if he hits me

17:06one more time oh jesus i'm reporting all you i'm gonna do it and then

17:12and then he played the next one like hey man we got a big series

17:14coming up the dargers i need my shit like now i need it by blah

17:19blah blah so who is this person calling these were ball players calling their representation

17:26representation so the representation mean they're agents okay and lawyers so maybe the agents are

17:32the people that hooked them up with the people that had the juice which makes

17:35sense and then they would talk because the agents want money they want money and

17:39now what's the best way to get money guys gotta hit home runs this guy

17:41hit home runs he's got to start belting the ball he makes money i make

17:45money that makes sense and then we all make money and then i start telling

17:48if i if i'm not saying this happened but if you're an owner i'm like

17:52hey joe i'm just telling you right now this guy you want to keep an

17:55eye on him he's going to start jacking 20 extra home runs really and how's

18:00he gonna do that you'll find out you'll find you'll we don't need to talk

18:03about that but next year if you got xyz budget i think he'd like to

18:07play so there's there's a lot there's a lot at play right and now you're

18:12infiltrating children because now you're going to the farm leagues and now you can't make

18:17it unless you start doing that but that's why i say someone like this guy

18:22with a long network there's there's so many tentacles right all over the place but

18:28you always need the fall guy right i mean was he was he the demon

18:33yeah but there's a lot of demons did you see that one the email that

18:38i sent You Jamie were he's talking about children for sex Do you remember you

18:45know the email I sent you Jamie?

18:48I Sent it the other day.

18:49I'm like well that pretty much sums it up then because he actually said it

18:52Find that I sent it to you in a text message.

18:55This one's crazy. This one's crazy.

18:57I've heard so he's having a conversation with a woman Who says that she heard

19:01that there's a place here it is.

19:03She's very emotional kind loving sharp I think you can become friends too.

19:07So here it says a friend Aliza told me about a project She's doing researching

19:12a really bad guy that gets children for sex sent to his island She almost

19:17fainted when I told her that person is me Wow Like Yeah, okay, so that's

19:29just there There's no way to interpret that any other way that person is me

19:36that person is me I children for sex sent to his island That person is

19:42me Holy shit So that one is fucking crazy That's 2018 So yeah, this has

19:55been going on for so this is like right before he got arrested, right?

20:00Supposedly did but when did he get arrested?

20:022019 2019 right month So this was like but there was an investigative reporter that

20:13was at the head of all this this lady that was really pushing because she

20:16had found out about his sweetheart deal in 2008 and she started gathering information and

20:24pushing it And that's what led ultimately I think to his being arrested Or What

20:32I would say is the front of like hey, we're doing things Well, if there's

20:36a different body that the autopsy had it makes you question like Was he ever

20:41in that cell or was this person who's in that cell did they sell this

20:45person as jeffrey epstein? Right.

20:47Well, you imagine the guy in the cell going I am not My name is

20:53harvey I live on the upper east side.

20:55I don't know what happened.

20:56I got a speeding ticket now Next thing, you know, I can't go home Yes,

21:01and this poor guy's just getting railed hard before Just sitting there and he's tying

21:06them up on the thing and he's just yeah You're gonna spin them around for

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22:08Is there any photos? Jeffrey Epstein like in that are that are well, here's the

22:13thing. Are they real? In a jumpsuit like what's in court in jail getting arrested?

22:20I was trying i'm looking when you arrest big figures.

22:23He was a big figure.

22:24It's a big to do Jeffrey what you do What about the children care to

22:30comment on the children? What are you doing with the children jeffrey?

22:33Why did you need 330 gallons of sulfuric acid?

22:35They didn't know about that.

22:36What are chickens? What are chickens?

22:39What is jerky? What is jerky?

22:42Well, no one knew any of that stuff back then if he was alive now

22:44for sure those questions would be shouted out What is pizza and pasta?

22:48What happened at obama's white house?

22:52What is pizza? Pizza's mentioned like 900 times.

22:56It's a little weird as a code Clearly as a code You know how crazy

23:00I felt for the longest time like I'd just be in a coffee shop And

23:04I'm like you guys don't you guess you don't know like Jim's a little wacky,

23:09but now it's it's cool.

23:11Do you see that video?

23:12We played the other day of this guy at the airport just yelling out Yes,

23:15you guys are going out about your business No, it's a guy.

23:17He's like the files have been released Yeah, I saw that and they were they

23:22were going and you're all just gone about your business The files are released kids

23:26are being tortured Which but my question was like what do you want me to

23:30do? What do you i'm flying at atlanta?

23:33What do you want me to do?

23:34I got a gig that is what you want me to do scream and yell

23:37at everybody get arrested How's that gonna fix anything this all happened 10 years ago?

23:41What do you want me to do?

23:43And what do you what do you do at this point because like it's uh,

23:47we don't do anything at the airport You know you get on your fucking plane

23:50The airport right like I gotta get home my wife's my wife's mother, but that's

23:54like a lot of people online They're very performative screaming and yelling.

23:57We're gonna do this. We got what do you get what do you what do

23:59you want us to do?

24:00That's their jurisdiction. Yeah It's outrage farming Outrage farming.

24:05I like that. You're outrage farming.

24:07Imagine going to that length though.

24:09You're just like, you know what?

24:10I really didn't like anything you said And uh, you have no right being like

24:14who's taking the time Well, it's it's either people no, but it's people that are

24:21trying to farm for attention.

24:23They're trying to get extra attention Or it's people that just aren't that good.

24:28They're not that smart Have you when when's the last time you engaged with anyone

24:35Online that was like rogan you're this or you're that one's been a long time

24:39long time, right? No, yeah Long time But up until that up into that time,

24:45bro, I watch fucking Louis j gomez do it every day I'm like lewis.

24:49What are you doing? What are you doing?

24:51You psycho stop fucking arguing with people online and calling them losers and comparing your

24:57life to theirs like don't do it because you don't know what you're dealing with

25:01you have no clue what you're dealing with not only that it's like it's a

25:04bad frequency to get your brain caught up in there's so many other things to

25:07think about correct there's so much going on in the world there's so many interesting

25:11things in life and the problem with social media algorithms and any kind of algorithm

25:16that you get sucked into is it it funnels you into this way this is

25:23what the information that you're getting most of the time you're getting a lot of

25:27bad information a lot of outrage farming and your frequencies like the way your brain

25:32thinks funnels down that pathway and you kind of lose control of it instead of

25:37having access to all the wonderful things in the world there's a lot of amazing

25:41fascinating curiosity driven people out there that are you know making videos about all kinds

25:47of stuff and you could instead pay attention to that stuff well that's yeah you're

25:53trapped i used to say that even just about news i remember being a kid

25:57and if you look at every newspaper and you just watch all the headlines for

26:01the news everything is i would sit there go okay something bad happened down here

26:08in brooklyn something why why do you spend every page or every headline of something

26:13negative you had eight to ten million people living in this vicinity why do you

26:19harp on just propaganding and looking because they're trying to make money and then i

26:24don't it's really simple it's really simple that all these major newspapers are struggling all

26:28of them badly and the only way to get attention is clickbait now because most

26:33of the stories that you get are online very few people are buying physical newspapers

26:37anymore no more they're dead yeah not only that during covid i think they kind

26:42of nuked their all their credibility there's a lot of people that just feel like

26:47they're all bullshit artists now it was an incredible exposing of of all information during

26:53covid what is this they say this video is he sent this to two women

26:57from detention from from from from detention all right let's see it's very it's weird

27:04i had to borrow the scotch tape to get the pictures on the wall okay

27:09so darren why do i have why do you have to see that thing over

27:13his face i'm pretending i'm talking to darren hi darren you guys having a good

27:21time you can see i have a little sore on my face that i got

27:23from some black guy trying to kiss me it's really disgusting oh it's really oh

27:30anyway i have pictures up on the wall i had to borrow the scotch tape

27:35to get the pictures on the wall i'll talk to you guys later okay so

27:41that's him in detention he said somebody tried to kiss him he's pretty calm but

27:47he almost got raped dude it's it's pre -production all right so listen just come

27:52in the room and say that somebody tried to kiss you you gotta be into

27:56it like that's take number 12 like god damn it jeffrey god damn it do

28:00you need a coke you need a wine i need you most stressed out you

28:04don't seem like a guy in jail so a guy who hasn't been sleeping well

28:07he seems pretty well rested yeah so you know my whole life is bad right

28:10now i just you know they're bringing me in some guy tried to kiss me

28:13it's kind of a bummer cut what that wasn't good all right let me try

28:17it again all right doing it right now all right lighting good here we go

28:20let's the fuck out of here the best intelligence organizations that can overthrow foreign governments

28:25would probably have a plan if they wanted to get the guy out and pretend

28:30that somebody else died in his place it's it's been from the beginning of time

28:36no yeah from the beginning of time the beginning of time well especially with like

28:40modern stuff because you can with modern masks like remember the tall biden there's not

28:47a chance in hell that was biden i i feel so redeemed my wife used

28:52to get so mad at me so mad at me my kids would get so

28:56mad at me and i would i would say it everywhere i'd sit on stage

29:00i say in social media i go i don't care what you say that is

29:04not joe biden you know there was also that in the files too they were

29:07called me crazy and now all of a sudden they're like oh no he was

29:11he was executed isn't that what they said yeah that seems us bro i went

29:19down there's a lot of those emails are just emails right are you first of

29:23all epstein is dealing with prostitutes people that are willing to get prostitutes he's dealing

29:28with a lot of criminals and weirdos and a lot of those people are probably

29:32full of shit right so just because somebody writes something in an email doesn't mean

29:36it's a fact however when you see the video of tall biden pull out pull

29:41out tall biden come on man he grew he grew and then he went back

29:46like they they might have put him on some shit and then he shrunk back

29:49down again and and his eye color would change this one right like uh yes

29:55that one like look at the difference he's like 6 '9 look at it that's

29:59a robot like send out the robot you got a video of him walking out

30:03there because when he walked look how long his fucking legs are look how tall

30:07he is this is absolutely insane like who's watching this going yeah now that's the

30:12same guy not only is he taller but he moves better he's more relaxed when

30:17he moves it was i joe it's like a guy doing an impression of joe

30:23biden yes look at his look how long this guy's legs are this is what's

30:29crazy but rewind that as again please here it is it's good it's starting from

30:35the beginning but it's good it's right there it's good just play it yeah it's

30:39starting from the so here's when he walks out look at how long his leg

30:42this guy's a basketball player he can look how tall he is first president i

30:47can dunk i mean just stop pause it right there please right there pause it

30:51pause it just the physical frame yep when you look at the length of his

30:55legs that's extraordinary that's not like jeffrey epstein's prostate no testicles no he's a whole

31:01different that is a tall man like there's no way that's a short man there's

31:07no There's no way that's a normal, like, what was, how tall was Joe Biden

31:11supposedly? Six feet? Six, one maybe?

31:15How tall was he supposed to be?

31:17The real Joe Biden. Tall was Joe Biden.

31:20The pre -2019. I said was, like he's dead.

31:24I'm saying he's dead. I'm saying he's long gone, wherever he is.

31:28Six feet, okay. I'm putting it out there.

31:30Go back again, six feet tall.

31:31Okay, six feet is like, you know, on the tall -ish side.

31:34That guy's taller than six feet.

31:37That is a tall man.

31:39Look at the proportions from his legs to the width of his shoulders, the length

31:45of his legs. That's a very tall man.

31:47Who's the casting director for this?

31:49I mean, just being charitable, that's a three inches taller man, at least.

31:54Maybe the other Joe Biden, you know, got sick that day, or his wife died,

31:58that actor died, and they're like, we need another Joe Biden quick.

32:02And then this one showed up like, oh my God.

32:05Just forget it. People believe everything.

32:07Send him out. If you have a guy who's the president, and he's known to

32:10be of poor health, there's probably going to be times where he's supposed to make

32:13a public appearance that's not that important, but it's important to just show his face.

32:17Well, you got to like keep him in a hospital bed somewhere.

32:21So you get a guy, and you put the mask on him.

32:23Did you ever see the walk?

32:24The walk? Yeah, his shuffle.

32:27That guy doesn't walk like that.

32:28That guy walks like an athlete.

32:31It's a robot! Wait a minute.

32:32What? He looks like a robot.

32:34No, he looks like a guy with bad knees and a bad back.

32:37It's a bad back. You think it's a robot?

32:40I'm taking... Oh, boy. I don't know what it is.

32:42No, it's an old man who can't walk good.

32:45I'm putting my chips in.

32:46Do you think you can program a robot to walk like an old man?

32:50Have you... It didn't look like an old man.

32:51Those robots are not that good.

32:52Get the video. Jim, the robots are not that good yet.

32:55Trust me. I'm friends with Elon.

32:57The robots, they're good, but they're not...

32:59They look like robots. They don't look like humans yet.

33:02You put a little suit and jacket on him, put him up, and you just

33:07videotape for three seconds. No, why would you do that?

33:09Three seconds. It's a guy.

33:11All right, no, I agree.

33:12This one's a guy, but there's other ones from like...

33:15What is this one, Jamie?

33:15Same one? Yeah. That's the same one.

33:17There's a better version of it?

33:18I was just replaying it.

33:19Okay. No, that's not a robot.

33:21That's a guy. There's ones where he's walking on the lawn, and his legs...

33:24Like, what does he do with his legs?

33:26It's crazy looking. Jim, like, neurologists have looked at this.

33:29He walks like a guy with dementia.

33:31That's how they walk. My dad had dementia.

33:34He didn't walk anything like that guy.

33:36Okay, not all people with dementia walk like that, but it's typical of the way

33:39people walk when they don't have control of their body anymore.

33:42Like, he fell down a lot.

33:44Like, it's very... The bicycle.

33:45The bicycle went down. I got it.

33:46It's a lot of things.

33:47He'd fall down walking upstairs.

33:49Remember? Yeah, I remember. Three times.

33:51I remember. I... You think it's a robot?

33:54I didn't say it's a 100 % robot.

33:57I'm saying I will put my chips in.

34:00I'm at the poker table, and they're like, you're really going in, all in, that

34:05that was not Joe Biden.

34:06I'm going all in, that's not Joe Biden.

34:10I'm going to show you...

34:11Never was. Okay. From 2020 on, it never was.

34:13I don't think this is a productive line of conversation, but, um...

34:17This is me. I get it.

34:18All right, you're going to watch this Joe.

34:19Yeah, watch this one. Yeah.

34:21What? But that's... He's walking in sand, and he's old as fuck, dude.

34:26He's walking in sand. I get it.

34:28If I walk in sand, and I'm drunk, I look just like that.

34:33He's had a lot of blood thinners there.

34:35Maybe they got to his head.

34:36I don't know. He's got a stint.

34:38I just... Jamie, I'm going to send you something.

34:39This is state of the art right now when it comes to robots, and it's

34:43pretty fucking good, man. Pretty fucking good.

34:47But it's not that. It's...

34:50These are robots that can actually do martial arts.

34:52It's very impressive. I feel like I just saw something like this.

34:55It was frightening to a degree.

34:57Yeah. It's from China. So, go full screen on this.

34:59This is really interesting. So, you got these kids.

35:01They get out there, and these robots do martial arts with them.

35:08Like, look at this. It's really wild, man.

35:12I mean, it's pretty human.

35:14Now, if they had suit and ties on, they can pass for a president.

35:20Not yet. Not yet. But look at these things.

35:22They can do backflips. Like, this is crazy.

35:25They do wheel kicks. Come on.

35:27It's really nuts, man. So, just imagine these things with fucking ARs just running into

35:34buildings, gunning people down. Because that's what's coming.

35:37Bro, there's a place... They're going to be bulletproof.

35:39They're going to have night vision, heat vision, insane hearing.

35:44There's a place in Florida, bro, that have the...

35:47Out in the Everglades, it's like this farmland.

35:50You never see anyone there, but they have the mechanical robot dogs patrolling everywhere and

35:57spraying the fields. The dogs spray the fields?

36:01There's like all different types of machines that come up and they will like spray

36:05the field and they have these...

36:06The dogs that patrol everywhere.

36:08It's wild. You can buy one.

36:09I never saw any of that.

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37:11Yeah, you can buy those robots.

37:12Yeah. Les was telling me about it.

37:15I think I want one.

37:15Lex Friedman, he actually works with robotics.

37:20Like he was an art player.

37:21Like he was an art player.

37:22artificial intelligence uh engineer before he ever started doing podcasts you're like you're like the

37:29movie the fifth element when the chick when the chick came and she got all

37:34the information like who's i'm always fascinated you have so much information like brilliant insight

37:42information who's left on on your list where you're like i gotta i want to

37:49look at i need to speak with so and so oh there's a ton of

37:51people there's always new uh you know like i get a list of uh every

37:57week multiple days a week i get a list of potential guests and so i

38:01go over the list and uh a lot of it are scientists a lot of

38:05it is like people that are doing groundbreaking research on like neurodevelopment genetics there's a

38:15lot of them that come up that are cosmologists uh that are working on you

38:20know just bizarre theories it's it's so there's always someone that's working on some you

38:29know like very high level of some esoteric line of you know some kind of

38:35discipline that i've got very little information about there's always interesting people that blows my

38:42mind yeah blows my mind i try talking to anyone even some of the words

38:47i'm not educated very well i'm they start saying certain words and i'm just i'm

38:51already i'm not formally educated very well i mean i only went to college for

38:54three years and i was barely paying attention i never paid attention i was only

38:58going to college so that people didn't think i was a loser it was i

39:01was really yeah i was doing it whilst fighting and then i was doing it

39:03for a little bit while still doing stand -up but i was only doing it

39:06so that no one thought i was a loser really yeah is that more that

39:09was that like a home thing like no it was where i grew up you

39:13know a lot everybody was going to college i went to school at a really

39:17good high school newton south in massachusetts and a lot of the kids were you

39:21know real ambitious and wanted to go to college and get degrees and i was

39:25i did not want to have a job i was like what am i doing

39:28i was like very feral and at the time all i wanted to do was

39:33compete i was just doing martial arts tournaments all the time and there was no

39:37money in that you know so i was like what am i what's my career

39:40going to be like what am i doing so this is weird period so i

39:44said let me just go to college so that no one thinks i'm a loser

39:47so i took a year off school so from uh graduated at 17 so for

39:52the next year i didn't i didn't go to school at all i just trained

39:57i don't know the story so when did you when did you go i'm going

40:00to start doing stand -up when i was 21 wow and what and you did

40:06you have that desire before then not really no i was a fan of stand

40:10-up i love stand -up i was talked into doing it by my friend steve

40:13he's a good buddy of mine steve graham because i would make people laugh in

40:17the locker room it was like he was a guy did taekwondo with and he's

40:20like dude and another good friend ed shorter same thing ed and steve were two

40:24guys who i was real tight with that you know i would make fun of

40:28everybody and just we were always just joking around right and i wanted a lot

40:32of attention i was young you know we all did yeah i did so that

40:36was uh that's how and then i went to an open mic night and i

40:39realized oh these people are all they suck they're beginners like oh you could be

40:43a beginner and then i thought about it just like martial arts if you just

40:46work at it you can get better at it you know so if you're just

40:48like a little bit funny if you can just kind of figure out what it

40:51is about you i was like this is fascinating it was like a whole new

40:54puzzle but i didn't know if i could ever do it for a living i

40:58was really so confused when i was 21 because i had really kind of decided

41:02to stop fighting and i was still doing it a little bit but i had

41:06like one foot in and one foot out which is not good and then uh

41:10i didn't have any prospects like what am i gonna i'm already 21 like i

41:15should have already graduated from college by now or be close or getting ready to

41:19work on a master's i should be doing something like a lot of the people

41:23that i went to high school with or i should have a trade like a

41:25lot of my buddies that went into carpentry or electricity you know there's i didn't

41:30have a like career other than teaching so within a couple years you start because

41:36you and i both fairly quickly started getting in good positions and because if you

41:44were 21 i'm gonna say by 25 20 my like 26 you're on uh hardball

41:51yeah wow yeah yeah we were really young that's crazy that's that's crazy lucky fast

41:57that happened yeah stupid fast same stupid fast and is stupid lucky because i didn't

42:03have any aspirations to ever be on tv there was no part of me that

42:07wanted to be an actor on tv zero i was never an ambition at all

42:11which probably helped me because when i went in and you know talked to the

42:16people and did auditions and shit it wasn't like oh my god this is my

42:19dream it was like so what do you guys want me to do okay yeah

42:23i can play a baseball player okay and they just love the fact that i

42:27was you know i had a background in athletics i i knew a lot about

42:31you also would murder like none other at the laugh factory you would go up

42:40and i remember the disney executives because that's who did that i remember them sitting

42:46in the back watching you you did the um the lions whatever tigers the tigers

42:52mating and it would just the place would lose their shit like and you're like

43:00oh and it was captivating watch it was howling funny and i'll never forget just

43:06looking at the executives and i don't remember their name i just remember he had

43:10a mustache he had a he had a dark mustache dark hair he's from he's

43:14from colorado he was like oh my god right joe is just so goddamn fuck

43:20i can't i can't take it so you i mean wow that's pretty awesome in

43:26that short period of time i wish i had no i won't say i wish

43:29i had your mentality then i have it now meaning back then i had the

43:36desire like god so I want, I want, I'm going to start buying satin clothes,

43:41and I just want to, I'm going to start getting nice clothes, you know, I

43:47went out, I went in satin, the first time I went out there, I bought

43:50satin blue pants, satin blue, I was like, I'm going to be in Hollywood, I

43:55was so retarded, so retarded.

43:58Well, but you had this whole other, I remember seeing you, and you were like,

44:02we were at some hotel, and you were just so, you're like, yeah, I'm going

44:09to go play pool and work out, you want to, you want to, I'm like,

44:12what, no, I'm looking for rock stars and actors on Melrose, and you're like, yeah,

44:18well, I'm not doing that, I'm going to the gym, and I'm like, you're going

44:22to miss out. And, but I really admired, I loved and I admired that about

44:32you so much, how, how, but I was never interested in, like, Hollywood stuff, it

44:37just was not that interesting to me, to be around a bunch of famous people

44:40and feel weird, I was like, I just rather be around normal people, I'd rather

44:44play pool, rather go to the gym.

44:46I was like that until I was around famous people.

44:50And then you're like, oh, oh, okay.

44:54This is uncomfortable. I want to go home.

44:56I want to go back home.

44:57Oh, I tried to move back to New York.

44:59I would have moved back to New York, except I had a lease.

45:01I had a lease on an apartment.

45:03When Hardball got canceled, I was ready to go back to New York.

45:05I was like, fuck this place, this is too uncomfortable for me.

45:07And again, I never had any aspirations to be famous, and definitely didn't have any

45:12aspirations to act. It was just money.

45:15They gave me a lot of money to be on a sitcom, and I was

45:17like, okay. I just couldn't believe how much money you could get in a week.

45:21Like, this is crazy. It was crazy.

45:23Yeah. It was like more money than I made in a year, and I could

45:26make it in a week.

45:26I was like, this is nuts.

45:28Especially because I went from broke to being on a sitcom.

45:32Yeah. I remember those same things.

45:34Like, you're not making any money.

45:36And then all of a sudden, you're like, here, you're on $25 ,000 to $50

45:39,000 a week. You're like, what?

45:41You just come and camera block here and there, and you don't even have to

45:43be the star. It was bananas.

45:45What? But then, when I got on news radio, I was like, oh, this is

45:48a whole different kind of a thing.

45:50Like, this is a really good show with really good writing and really good actors.

45:54I was like, this is fun.

45:55Like, that I enjoyed a lot.

45:58But the world of acting is long days, and it's not what I like to

46:05do the most. So, it was like, you know, it's great.

46:08But you can get sucked into that velvet prison, and then, you know, you'd be

46:13like, I'd be talking to my friends.

46:15I'd be like, yeah, I just did a week in Florida.

46:17It was fucking awesome. Went in there on Wednesday, and I was realizing, like, these

46:21guys are selling out on the road, and they're traveling all the time.

46:24They're having all this fun.

46:26I'm like, they're doing what I wanted to do, which was, like, stand up, like,

46:30on the road. But I was only doing, like, small sets in town.

46:33I was only doing, like, 15 minutes at the Laugh Factory, 15 minutes at the

46:37store, you know? It's like, the real comedy was, like, headlining, doing an hour, really

46:42developing your act. Right. And it was like, I enjoyed doing news radio, but I

46:48didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed being around comics, doing sets, being at

46:53the clubs, laughing all the time.

46:55It's like a different kind of people.

46:57The actor people were all worried about what the other actor people were doing.

47:02They were all worried about, like, what rating we were, what number we were in

47:07the ratings. Correct. Yes. And that's all they would talk about.

47:11Dude, we were at a table once, and they were all bitching about how, you

47:15know, we were on, you know, whatever night we were on.

47:18We moved, like, nine times over five years.

47:20And back then, there was no internet.

47:22So, you couldn't tell people that you're not on Monday night anymore, you're not on

47:25whatever it was. And so, they were all bitching and getting pissed because Sex and

47:30the City was on this time slot, and the single guy was in this time

47:34slot. And if we were there, we'd be number two or whatever.

47:36Right. And I was like, guys, last time I checked, we're on TV.

47:41Yeah. Like, this is a dream.

47:43Yeah, we're not number one.

47:45But we have a funny show, and we're on TV.

47:47Just fucking enjoy the ride.

47:49Yeah. And it was a great show.

47:50It was a lot of fun.

47:51It was a great show, and it did well.

47:53But, yeah, that world just never ends.

47:55But it was just so lucky to get it so quick.

47:58You know, I was on news radio six years into doing stand -up.

48:02Yeah. And it didn't make any sense to me.

48:04But it's also why I wasn't nervous about it.

48:06It was like, it seemed so normal to me.

48:09Yeah. Like, okay, this is a job I'm doing.

48:10But it was because I didn't want to do it.

48:12Not that I didn't want to do it, but because it wasn't like in my

48:16ultimate dream. Well, that made me laugh.

48:19I saw you years later, and I don't know if it was a fear fact

48:26or whatever. And someone snarkily, like in a snarky way, were like, why would you

48:31take this? And you're like, because they're paying me fucking retarded money.

48:35They offered fucking retarded money.

48:37Like, you wouldn't do this for whatever the episode.

48:40And I just, it made me laugh so.

48:42It's just, you gave the real answer.

48:44Like, if I offered you whatever program I'm going to offer you, I don't know,

48:5020 million for two years, you're going to go, I'm not doing that.

48:55What? That's ridiculous. Why would I use, why would I leave my sanitation job to

49:00- Money equals freedom. And that's what people need to understand.

49:03Like, if you can make a pile of money, you get fuck you money.

49:07And then the key is, don't be chasing fuck your mother and fuck your family

49:12and fuck the world money.

49:14Correct. Like, stick with fuck you money.

49:17But just make sure you say fuck you.

49:19Correct. So make sure you don't do things you don't want to do.

49:22And so when Fear Factor came along, I initially took it because I thought it

49:25was going to be canceled immediately.

49:27I was like, it was, I was in a development deal with NBC.

49:31And they, they sent me this thing.

49:33And I was like, what the fuck is this?

49:35They're going to stick dogs on people.

49:37Like, I was laughing. I'm pretty sure I was stoned when I first got the

49:41pitch. Yeah. And I read, I go, this is hilarious.

49:43And I don't know if my manager even wanted me to do it.

49:47I don't remember. I think they probably wanted me to hold out for a sitcom.

49:51And I was like, are you fucking kidding me?

49:53This is hilarious. Let me meet with them.

49:55And they didn't like me at first because I came in and was making fun

50:01of it. And they thought it should be scary because this was fear factor.

50:06Right. And I was just joking.

50:08Like I came into the meeting.

50:10I was probably stoned. I came into the meeting and I was just cracking jokes

50:13about everything and laughing and they didn't.

50:17But then David Hurwitz, who's a friend of mine, who was one of the producers

50:20on the show, he's like, no, no, no, no, no.

50:22Look, the whole world's going to be laughing at us.

50:24Yes. It's way better if the host is laughing.

50:26Yes. It's way better. Yes.

50:27Like, let's just try it.

50:28Like the lunacy of what lengths these people go to.

50:32They were going to go with like a sportscaster or something.

50:34You know what I mean?

50:36Here we are in fear factor.

50:38Fear is not a factor for you.

50:41Bottom of the ninth. Maggie from Wisconsin is going to get in the tank.

50:47Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. So it was just luck.

50:50A lot of luck, man.

50:51A lot of weird luck.

50:52I've had a lot of weird luck my whole life.

50:54Like even coming here is weird luck.

50:56Even opening up the club, weird luck.

50:58Why do you say that?

50:59Because a lot of things have to happen in order for this club to exist,

51:03right? A lot of things have to happen.

51:05First of all, the COVID thing has to happen, right?

51:08So, and it has to happen in California where they have very restrictive laws and

51:11everything gets locked down and we can't perform for like, I think the store was

51:15shut for a year and a half, man.

51:17Are you serious? Yeah. California was nuts with COVID.

51:21But over here, like almost immediately you could do shows.

51:26Right. Like we were, the Cap City was doing shows and they had people separated

51:30before they went under. They just had like the tables moved like six feet apart,

51:35which was retarded. It didn't mean anything.

51:36And then when we started doing shows at the Vulcan, that was in like November

51:40of 2020. So that was pretty soon after, you know, the rest of the world

51:47was still like completely, like California and New York were still completely restrictive and Texas

51:52was pretty, pretty wide open.

51:54And so I, I have to have the kind of money that Spotify gave me.

52:00And then I have to be so dumb that I'm in the middle of this

52:03giant deal. I'm like, I'm just going to move to Texas, which they were like,

52:06what are you doing? Like you need to be in LA.

52:09That's where your studio is.

52:10That's where the guests are.

52:11And I was like, I'm flying like at least two or three people a week

52:15out to Los Angeles. I bet I could get them to fly to Texas.

52:20Yeah. But it was a, it was a dumb gamble.

52:23It's like, it's not a smart move.

52:24So, but so it has to be like the Spotify money.

52:28It has to be everything closed down.

52:29And then it has to be the store closed down because the store closed down,

52:32allow me to get guys like Adam Eget and, you know, and from the store.

52:37Yeah. All the people that worked at the store came to work for me.

52:40That's like one of the big secrets, Jody, the managers, the, like a lot of

52:44the people that are at the mothership came from the store and they were unemployed.

52:49Yeah. But I wouldn't take it.

52:50I wouldn't, I, I like your approach.

52:53Is it luck? No, but it has to, it has to be some, otherwise it

52:57doesn't happen. Cause if there's no luck, then if there's no COVID lockdown, then all

53:01these comics aren't willing to move here.

53:03Correct. Tony Hinchcliffe, Tom Segura, Christina Pazitzki, Brian Simpson, everybody moved here.

53:11Right. So the only reason why anybody would move here is because California is locked

53:15down. If the store was hopping and they would be like, why would I go

53:18to Texas? They wouldn't leave.

53:18Yeah. Why the fuck would I go here?

53:19Right. Yeah. So it had to be like a place where you could go and,

53:23you know, and then you have to have the resources to do something like that.

53:27So that has to be like the Spotify thing.

53:29Like, it's like so many things have to fall into place where it's that kind

53:34of a gamble makes sense.

53:36Hmm. Yeah. It's a lot of luck, man.

53:38It's a lot of luck, but it's also a lot of decision making and a

53:42lot of you, you, you're very thoughtful and, and you've, the walk that you walk

53:51creates an energy and it's an, it's, it's, it's, it's very powerful.

53:57It's very inspiring. And I do believe in that stuff.

54:01Like the way you've walked most of the life that I've known you has been,

54:05you're probably, you inspired me so much years ago, years and years ago, you came

54:12on my radio show and, and you literally started talking and you called in.

54:17And I remember I just told everyone, just be quiet, just be quiet and let

54:21him go. And just, I knew at that moment you were going to be changing

54:27like culture, if that makes sense.

54:31You, you went into this, you went into this deep conversation about, we are, we

54:37are shifting in humanity. And basically you, you said we're either going to, um, live

54:45for truth or you're going to be a liar, like leech type thing.

54:51It was very powerful. And, um, I think eventually I was like, you know, put

54:56Pink Floyd behind it and put that on.

54:58Oh yeah, there's a clip of that.

54:59It is, it is one of the most, cause I wanted the world to hear

55:03what you said. It was such a, like no other pastor could say, no one

55:08could say it the way you said it.

55:10So yes, it is all luck, but I do believe that presence that you put

55:17out and that energy it's, it's trusted and it's, it's a, it's a force that

55:23opens doors without even you knowing it because it is all for, uh, the good

55:28in my belief. Um, but anyway, that's my little compliment for you, Joseph.

55:34Well, thank you. That's very kind of you.

55:34Well, you, you inspired me too, dude.

55:36Cause when we first started working together, the, one of the worst times I ever

55:39bombed ever was, uh, I was headlining when I really shouldn't have been headlining.

55:44I really didn't have an hour and you and I did a weekend together somewhere

55:48like West Nyack, New York or something like that.

55:50Somewhere yucky, like a holiday thing.

55:52But, uh, I did okay every show except the late show Saturday night.

55:58You fucking murder. I do.

56:02You murdered. And I remember being so nervous.

56:06I was so nervous and I went on stage nervous and I just ate a

56:09dick and I remember it was like one of the worst bombings I've ever had

56:12in my life And I remember thinking at the time boy.

56:14I got to correct something I first of all I can never go on stage

56:17that nervous again I was like what was wrong was wrong was instead of laughing

56:22at you and going on stage having a good time I was nervous about my

56:27own performance, which is like a self -defeating mentality Yeah, and I had to realize

56:32that which is also one of the reasons like it really My stand -up bumped

56:36up a lot after that weekend.

56:38It really did because I really worked on it hard because the bombing was bad

56:42It was a bombing's bad.

56:43It was but this was a bad one.

56:44I was supposed to do 45.

56:45I bailed at 35 I got in trouble.

56:47I was eating dick dude.

56:49I was eating dick it was horrible, but um The same thing happened when I

56:54would take Joey on the road with me And the reason why I would take

56:57Joey on the road with me is because he was so hard to follow So

57:01I said, okay, I thought of it just like training partners.

57:04Yes Like you don't want to spar with a guy who sucks you want to

57:07spar with a guy who's better than you right so that you can you could

57:11get to His level yes, and so with Joey Joey was so loose and so

57:16free and he was so silly and I was more rigid And I tried to

57:20do more set -up punchline stuff, but I was you know, I was only whatever

57:24eight nine years in whatever it was I was still trying to like figure it

57:28out and Joey had a rhythm to him He's just so loose and I'm like

57:34This is gonna help me.

57:35Let me just take this guy on the road with me first of all He's

57:37the best guy to hang out with he's so much fun.

57:40He seems like I love him to death I never got to hang out with

57:43him. I don't never hang out with joey I've only get to see him on

57:46here and some other places.

57:47I know he's the best.

57:49He's so everybody Everybody's like he's so fun Like when you're around him, it's all

57:54hugs and laughs and he's the party you bring joey anywhere The parties with joey

57:59when we'd go to dinner.

58:00We'd have as much fun at dinner as we would at the show, right?

58:03He's the entertainment. Well, he's just a great social Engineer like he would like the

58:10he would like fucking be the the maestro that would get everybody going We would

58:15be laughing And then we'd go to the show be have a good time and

58:19I learned to laugh at him because he'd be murdering And I'd learn to take

58:23that momentum of laughing at him and carry it into the energy of my performance

58:27Yeah, so it was like it was a good thing because a lot of people

58:31want the opposite They want the guy going on before them to suck so they

58:36look like a hero. Yeah, no, I don't want that There's a lot of people

58:39out there rocking that fucking scheme.

58:41I like I like what you said.

58:41I like a guy hitting hard Yeah, and then the nights like even I have

58:45I have a Brian McKenna opening for me right now and there's nights like I

58:50think we're in Louisiana and I was like, oh shoot.

58:53I gotta get up like what is he doing?

58:54I knew I and that makes me go.

58:58Oh, all right. I got to stay crystal clear like I've got to bring it

59:01to This whole level he's making me I love if someone makes me work loves

59:06Well, it's not just dad.

59:08It's also that the crowd gets their money's worth yes bunch of people came out

59:12to see you like I've gone to see Friends that are really good comics that

59:17I really love and then I go to see them and they have an opening

59:19act I'm like Jesus Christ.

59:21I gotta go to the bathroom.

59:23I gotta go sit outside for 20 minutes and wait for this to To end

59:27that's a bad place to be whether it's your buddy or not.

59:30They do it because they want a light opener Like Ron white's open about it

59:35like he talks about you do you better than me.

59:38You're getting fired He doesn't give a fuck but it's that you know, I love

59:46But how he's still on here, no, but yeah, he's out here.

59:50Yeah, he's at the club all the time.

59:51He's there tonight Okay, Ron or tomorrow night rather Ron's the best.

59:54He's the best. Okay, he's the he's another reason why I came here Because he

59:58was already here. Ron moved here before the pandemic.

1:00:01Oh wow. Yeah, he moved here in I think 2018 or 19 somewhere around then

1:00:08and I was like, well He had a place in beverly hills that he kept

1:00:11still so he'd come back and forth But he was like I love austin.

1:00:14You never have to leave if I want to fly anywhere It's the middle of

1:00:18the country. The people are nice.

1:00:19The food's great. I was like can I live there?

1:00:21No That's what my thought was like.

1:00:24I can't live there Ron is the type of guy too that he doesn't realize

1:00:29How good he is and how popular he is sometimes he literally don't ask me

1:00:34why he called me I have no.

1:00:38Oh, I remember it was some bizarre connection.

1:00:40He's like hey, Jim I Keep getting asking to play in London And I went

1:00:47oh you will murder murder in London.

1:00:52He's like, I don't know.

1:00:54I mean I do it.

1:00:55I don't know I'm like Ron if you were to play Scotland England Ireland like

1:01:04you you're gonna have a whole new you're gonna murder He's like, I don't know

1:01:07if they were Please I'm begging you at least just take the gig.

1:01:12Please just take the gig and this is this was a couple of years ago

1:01:15And apparently he did do it.

1:01:17I was like did you he's like man?

1:01:20Of course you did Yeah, especially his style.

1:01:23He's funny. He's very humble Oh, Ron is very humble guy.

1:01:27Yeah, he's a you know, he's a great guy.

1:01:31He's the best Well, that's why I like I like to come in here the

1:01:33first time because what I like about here is I reached a point where I

1:01:39have my following I have my crowd and if I'm working out stuff Even if

1:01:45it's in an hour, they're gonna be patient with me because they like me and

1:01:48they've been on my journey Right, but if I were to go into a club

1:01:52and do 15 minutes I Better I bet it.

1:01:57They're not my lot of them don't know me and I have to and I

1:02:00remember the first time I came here I didn't want to go on stage.

1:02:03I used to go on stage Wow, it was like, okay, uh, yeah, I'm not

1:02:11wow seven more minutes. Okay.

1:02:13I didn't even finish my setup yet This is this made me this place made

1:02:17me want to start working harder again ago Hey man, you gotta, you gotta put

1:02:22the gloves on. Not that I had any lack of confidence of what I put

1:02:27out there for an hour, but those short little 15 minute when they see everybody,

1:02:32it doesn't matter. It's an even playing field.

1:02:34It's pretty awesome. It was great.

1:02:36That was great about the store too.

1:02:37Like you'd get a night where you had like seven, eight national headliners in a

1:02:42row. You know, I saw that one and they don't care after a while.

1:02:47It's just bringing the funny.

1:02:48I saw. And someone from a huge sitcom go on stage, place, loses their mind.

1:02:57Even I was a little like, Oh wow.

1:02:59Oh wow. And about, they did the shtick of their character and about five minutes

1:03:07in, they were like, okay, we're done.

1:03:09You're going to tell jokes or you're just going to be the TV guy.

1:03:13And it's just like, they don't, they've seen everything.

1:03:15You got to come with the goods.

1:03:17You got to work it.

1:03:18TV guy thing. We used to see that all the time in LA too.

1:03:21Well, that's what led to Kramer, that meltdown.

1:03:23Well, that's who it was.

1:03:24Yeah. That's it. I didn't want to say, I didn't want to say, but he,

1:03:28he first walked up and was like, Oh dude.

1:03:30I know. And then after about five, seven minutes.

1:03:37Yeah. And this one was at the improv and I'm watching like, Oh wow.

1:03:42Oh wow. He don't have material.

1:03:43He's just, wow. Which is crazy.

1:03:46They turned on him quick.

1:03:47Imagine thinking that you could do 15 minutes with no material.

1:03:51I just don't understand. Comics make it look easy.

1:03:55You know how many, you know how many people go, how many people have you

1:03:58met that go, you know what?

1:04:00You inspired? I'm going to, I'm going to start doing standup.

1:04:04Okay. Some of them you're like, please don't.

1:04:06Yeah. Like, okay. I still get, I'm starting next.

1:04:09Here's my friend. They'll send me a set of their first set.

1:04:11Like you, comedians make it look like we just walk up and just wing it.

1:04:16Well, it's also a guy's used to performing in front of a live audience when

1:04:21he does a sitcom and everybody loves him.

1:04:23And if he could make people laugh for a minute, he thinks he could probably

1:04:26make people laugh for multiple minutes.

1:04:29Just keep it going. Just do the same thing for 15 minutes.

1:04:32And the little side of us are just back then.

1:04:34I root for everyone, but it's where those guys walk off and be like, go

1:04:37down, right, John, go. How does that feel?

1:04:40There's nothing more. Well, we don't like anybody that's half stepping, right?

1:04:43No. That's like half in, not really doing it.

1:04:46Right. Like you're just taking up 15 minutes from someone that could be doing it.

1:04:50Correct. I used to, do you know Neil Brent, not Neil, Kevin?

1:04:56No, I don't know Kevin very well.

1:04:58I've met him, I'm sure.

1:05:00I remember him doing sets in New York back in the day.

1:05:03Kevin would get so pissed because, wow, what's the, he's a famous guitar player.

1:05:09Oh my God. John Mayer?

1:05:11Yes, John Mayer. So Kevin would come in, he'd come in to the radio and

1:05:17be like, he's going up, he's doing fucking 20 minutes and he sucks.

1:05:24I can't go to Madison Square Garden and go give me the guitar for 20

1:05:28minutes. It's my fucking time.

1:05:30Because his comics would get really edgy.

1:05:33They didn't care who you were.

1:05:35They'd go in, I'd love to listen.

1:05:36He would rant and I would howl listening to rant.

1:05:40Of course, I would prod the tiger once in a while when he'd start going.

1:05:47Fucking crazy. Fucking John Mayer.

1:05:50All right, I get it.

1:05:51You play. Fucking get off the stage.

1:05:56Yeah, comics are very territorial about the art form.

1:06:00Extremely. You know, like when someone tries to do it that's not a comic, they

1:06:03automatically kind of reject them.

1:06:05I'm always like, give him a chance.

1:06:07Never know. Never fucking know.

1:06:09Never know. Never know a guy who's been acting but really always wanted to stand

1:06:12up, might have some good ideas and might really throw themselves into it.

1:06:16It's possible. Why would you assume it's impossible?

1:06:19It's possible. It is possible.

1:06:21But the reality in L .A.

1:06:22is a lot of them were doing it because the whole casting thing had dried

1:06:26up for them, right? So they weren't getting brought into shows anymore.

1:06:30So they decided to do stand up and they would just, you know, put together

1:06:34an act, like write an act.

1:06:37Yeah. Yeah, but it wasn't what they really loved.

1:06:40So it wasn't what they really threw.

1:06:42It's a paycheck. Yeah. It's a little paycheck to get them by.

1:06:45It was a career decision.

1:06:46It was like pivoting, you know?

1:06:48Yeah. I know a couple of guys like that.

1:06:50Yeah. Sitcom or a sketch show or even like an SNL character.

1:06:55He didn't do stand up and now they'll tour and try to do whatever.

1:06:59So here's an interesting thing I should tell you because you know this person.

1:07:04Okay. I actually made up with Mark Maron the other day.

1:07:11Interesting. I had to help him with something.

1:07:15I had to inform him about something and he sent me a very sincere message

1:07:20of thank you. And then I sent him a message back that was sincere.

1:07:23And I said, look, I'm not your enemy.

1:07:25I'm sure if we saw, despite our differences, I'm sure if we saw each other,

1:07:29within a few minutes we'd be laughing and smiling.

1:07:31Yeah. Which is generally how I interacted with him for the most part.

1:07:35I had only a few bad interactions with him.

1:07:39And he was pretty honest about how, you know, maybe it's his own mind and,

1:07:44you know, it was, but it was a, it was a very sincere interaction, which

1:07:49made me happy. It's not good to have enemies.

1:07:51No, it's really not. It's not good.

1:07:53I've had maybe two or three that have vocally put out on, because I, I'm

1:08:03not into the Twitter insulting or going on other programs insulting.

1:08:09If you have an issue, tell me.

1:08:12Right. And then we'll, we'll deal with it the way.

1:08:14Right. Call me up. The real humans do it.

1:08:16Yeah. And when, when that, that whole thing, I have a funny feeling.

1:08:25I know it, some of his issues were, but I felt, and I put it

1:08:30out there, I felt, I felt bad because for years I didn't have great interaction.

1:08:34When I started, listen, I'm not poo -pooing or whatever, but yeah, a lot of

1:08:38guys didn't like me. They were like, who's this animated, loud -mouthed kid coming in

1:08:42here, confident, blah, blah, blah.

1:08:43And he would always kind of like, I'll never forget, he'd be like, you're going

1:08:48to woo him? You're going to woo him tonight?

1:08:50He was trying to sabotage you.

1:08:53Without a doubt. It was a competition thing.

1:08:54Without a doubt. And I understood that because I'm still back then.

1:08:57You made a whole video about it.

1:08:59Correct. Yeah, I saw that video.

1:09:00And so as we went on, I actually was so happy for him once he

1:09:06got WTF. Because you saw like, wow, he's - He became a different person.

1:09:11And he found his niche.

1:09:12And he became friendly. Correct.

1:09:14He was easy to be around.

1:09:15Yeah. He was so, his podcast was killing it.

1:09:18And then he had his show on the IFC, Marin.

1:09:20Yes, yes. He was doing great.

1:09:22He was way easier to hang around with.

1:09:24He was incredible. Because all the angst had been removed and he'd become a made

1:09:28man. Right? Made man. Yeah.

1:09:30And when you're a made man, who cares who else is becoming a made man?

1:09:34Exactly. Who cares? But then when things go south, then it's hard to maintain that

1:09:40same mindset. It's very easy for me to say, oh, just relax.

1:09:45And who cares? Everybody should be happy that all these people are doing well.

1:09:48But if you're not doing well, that jealousy is a natural thing.

1:09:52I've experienced it before. I've experienced it.

1:09:55I know the feeling. I've experienced it for brief moments before.

1:10:00You know, even like, you know, eight, nine years ago, maybe even.

1:10:04It's like there's moments where someone's really killing it.

1:10:07You're like, oh, what the fuck?

1:10:09But then I realized in my head, like, God, that's a bitch -ass way of

1:10:13thinking. Don't hold on to that.

1:10:14No. We're on our own journey.

1:10:16This is our world. But also, that same feeling can instead be inspiration.

1:10:22Like, when you and I worked together and I bombed, one of the things that

1:10:26inspired me was not just, I got to get better because I bombed, but you

1:10:30murdered. You had that bit about coming home drunk.

1:10:33Coming home wasted. And your mother was - Turned into a demon.

1:10:36Yeah, it was a great bit.

1:10:38But it was so, like, animated and big.

1:10:41And it didn't make me hate you.

1:10:44I loved you. We were great friends.

1:10:46I was like, that is so good.

1:10:47And it just made me want to get better.

1:10:50So, that same feeling that can turn you like, oh, you're going to do woo

1:10:54-woom? You're going to do your bullshit?

1:10:56Instead, I was like, fuck, Jim, you're killing it, man.

1:10:58That's awesome. Yes. I just, I come from a different world.

1:11:02And my world requires other people around you to be as good or better than

1:11:08you. The martial arts world.

1:11:09Like, when I was a four -time state champion and I was doing, I wasn't

1:11:14necessarily the best guy in the gym.

1:11:16There was guys in the gym who were better than me.

1:11:18Yeah. Always. There was other guys that were also state champions.

1:11:21Some of them were national champions.

1:11:23They were better than me.

1:11:24Right. But because I was around those people training hard all the time, that's why

1:11:29I got so good. Yeah.

1:11:30It was because I was around people as good, if not better than me, all

1:11:35the time that it elevated my level.

1:11:37So, I felt the same way about stand -up.

1:11:39I'm like, you need those people that make you feel uncomfortable.

1:11:42They make you feel like, fuck, I got to go to work.

1:11:45Yes. And whether it's him or whoever, it doesn't even have to be the comedy

1:11:52world. It's just the world in general.

1:11:54It always – it's not that sad.

1:11:57I wish sometimes people in those positions, no matter how successful you are and whatever

1:12:02you define success, if someone else is starting to kill it somewhere, let them –

1:12:07keep your eyes off that.

1:12:09Just stay in your own lane.

1:12:12I hate that term, though.

1:12:14This is a weird term.

1:12:14I've heard it. It's not stay in your lane.

1:12:16It's stay in your world of confidence.

1:12:18And I saw a couple people try to take a swipe.

1:12:21And I think it was deeper than that.

1:12:23I think it was, A, they were envious.

1:12:25And, B, because you had certain people on and perhaps they were angry because they're

1:12:36still lumped into how they define themselves to certain gangs that their allegiance goes to.

1:12:42Yeah, ideological capture. A hundred percent.

1:12:45How dare he have – Don't platform that person.

1:12:48Don't platform this one and don't platform that one and don't platform – As a

1:12:52matter of fact, I would even hear chatter like this.

1:12:54I would never. And I'd go, yes, you would because – Well, if you wouldn't,

1:13:01then you would never be me in the first place.

1:13:02So what are you worried about?

1:13:03We're different human beings. Correct.

1:13:05The point is I understand those feelings.

1:13:09Right. I do. I understand those feelings of anger and those feelings of jealousy, of

1:13:13resentment. It is absolutely normal.

1:13:16But it is a bitch -ass way to think.

1:13:18And I've thought those ways.

1:13:20I've had bitch -ass thinking in my life.

1:13:23100%. So I get it.

1:13:24I understand it. It's normal.

1:13:27But what these people need to hear that I needed to learn myself is that

1:13:33that not only does not help you, it hurts you.

1:13:37But the same exact experience can instead be inspiring to you and that will help

1:13:43you. And you're going to be uncomfortable.

1:13:45You're going to be uncomfortable with comparing yourself to someone who's better than you.

1:13:48But that uncomfortable feeling is what leads to growth.

1:13:52It's really important. It's good.

1:13:53It's good for you. But what's not good for you is to try to dismiss

1:13:57that person and shit on that person.

1:13:59Even if someone's doing something that I don't like, I don't like their style, so

1:14:05what? I don't care. There's a lot of music.

1:14:09Look, I have teenage girls.

1:14:11When they listen to music, they love it.

1:14:12I don't like it. But it doesn't mean it's not good.

1:14:15They fucking love it. They love it.

1:14:17There's a lot of guys that are into jazz.

1:14:18I don't like it. But it doesn't mean it's bad.

1:14:23No. It's great for some people.

1:14:25It's their art. It's like everybody has a thing that you're into and everybody has

1:14:29a different style. So if someone's doing something that you don't enjoy, you don't have

1:14:33to hate them. It doesn't mean – that's not beneficial to you.

1:14:36It doesn't help you at all.

1:14:39I could sum what you said by you can have your bitch -ass feelings.

1:14:44Yeah. Just don't have your bitch -ass emotions and act on – don't act on

1:14:49– Don't act, bitch -ass.

1:14:50Just don't act, bitch -ass.

1:14:51That's when you start having issues, when you put it out in the universe, because

1:14:56it's still inside you, which we all have it.

1:14:58Yes. It's when you put it out there, now it's out there, now everyone looks

1:15:03at you a whole different...

1:15:05I've done that multiple times.

1:15:08I'm never proud of it.

1:15:09Always feel horrible. Never tour it always within family or friends or something.

1:15:14Never, I try not to...

1:15:17Put it out in the world.

1:15:18...in the world with names of people, because I don't have any qualms.

1:15:23It doesn't feel... You don't feel proud of yourself.

1:15:24No, I feel like a little punk bitch.

1:15:27Yes. I can't believe I just did that.

1:15:30I know. Oh my God, I thought I was mature.

1:15:32You gave in to those bitch -ass feelings.

1:15:34I thought I was mature.

1:15:35It's normal. Like, I remember someone was telling me that Chris Rock was selling out

1:15:43everywhere after the Will Smith thing.

1:15:44And I swear to God, for like a couple of seconds, I was like, aw,

1:15:50what the... He's selling out instantly, all these arenas?

1:15:54It takes me a couple of days.

1:15:55Like, it's so stupid, so dumb.

1:15:58Like, he was the hot ticket, because everybody wanted to see him.

1:16:01But it was only for a few seconds.

1:16:02And then I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

1:16:05Like, you fucking silly bitch.

1:16:08Yeah. Such a dumb way to think.

1:16:10Like, but the problem is, you don't, in the time, and then the other thing

1:16:15is, they think that they're going to diminish that by attacking you.

1:16:18But what they don't understand is when you do that publicly, the heat comes for

1:16:25you. Because now you've set the game in motion.

1:16:30Now you start moving pieces around the board, and then people are starting to move

1:16:33pieces against you. And that's the...

1:16:36I felt that even at a time where I felt it was necessary.

1:16:40The whole Carlos Mencia thing.

1:16:42I said that to my friends afterwards.

1:16:43I said, I don't think I'll ever do anything like that again.

1:16:46Because just the negative... Even if it was only 10 % of the people that

1:16:50were negative, 90 % were positive, that 10 % is just not a good feeling.

1:16:55It's a terrible feeling. It's not good.

1:16:57Even though I thought that was a necessary thing to do.

1:17:01Because I... Not just him.

1:17:03But I wanted to expose the way the business was treating that, where they were

1:17:07profiting off of it and openly covering it.

1:17:10And they knew about it.

1:17:11And they thought it was just business.

1:17:13That wasn't what my agent said to me.

1:17:15It's just business. I remember a phone call we had somewhat after that.

1:17:22And I remember you telling me your agency dropped you.

1:17:28They dropped you. I'm not crazy for thinking that, right?

1:17:33No, they dropped me. But what they said was that I had to apologize to

1:17:37him or they couldn't work with me anymore.

1:17:40And I said, listen, then if just you bringing that up, our relationship is over.

1:17:45Done. I said, just because you wanted to...

1:17:47And they said it's just business.

1:17:48I go, you're making a decision that will affect you for the rest of your

1:17:51life. I go, because you're siding with a vampire.

1:17:54You sell art. It's all you sell.

1:17:57All you guys are is a comedy agency, right?

1:17:59You sell art. You've got a guy who's stealing art from other artists.

1:18:02Like, this is bad for you.

1:18:05Everyone's going to know. So, Louis left them after that.

1:18:07Louis came up to me at the improv, asked me if that was true.

1:18:10I said, yes. He goes, okay, I'm leaving them.

1:18:12Attell, Nick Swartzen, a bunch of people did.

1:18:15So, it wasn't like I was right.

1:18:18But it was also... But the negative feeling of the people angry at me for

1:18:23it was like so gross.

1:18:24It was like you put that out there in the world as a giant distraction.

1:18:29It takes away from most of your life.

1:18:31You think about it all the time.

1:18:33Just not good. At that time, I understand that.

1:18:38But also, like for instance, that was already out there.

1:18:43With him? Yeah. And I personally...

1:18:45But with comics it was.

1:18:47It was out there with comics and it was out there with him.

1:18:50I personally didn't see particular...

1:18:55Well, you weren't in LA.

1:18:56I worked with him maybe once a choice.

1:18:57And I'm not an LA guy.

1:18:58So, everyone and their mother...

1:19:02I mean, there was a lot of people that would say that.

1:19:04So, when the point of that happening, it was such justice in the community and

1:19:16beyond that, in the world.

1:19:19Like, can we stop? Can we stop?

1:19:21If you're taking from others, if you're taking from...

1:19:25Which I've already dealt with at that point on some other levels.

1:19:29It happened multiple times when people would take and then they...

1:19:32Well, you dealt with it on SNL.

1:19:34Yes. SNL and other areas and which whatever.

1:19:40It's all in the past and I'm all good now.

1:19:42So, when you deal with that and you're very...

1:19:45I just dealt with buying tickets as another whole deal.

1:19:49So, with that said, it's very freeing when you finally put it out there.

1:19:55And not that you want to see someone's career plummet or take a hit or

1:20:02whatever. But it was very refreshing to see that people or fans went, oh, we

1:20:10didn't know this. Because a lot of times fans don't care.

1:20:13How could they know? They wouldn't know.

1:20:15But they don't... And you go, you're still going to show up.

1:20:19And then all of a sudden, it just...

1:20:20It went to a whole different direction.

1:20:22You saw, like, this person struggling here.

1:20:25And then it was... It's that time we're living in.

1:20:29And you set an example for, if we're all going to start moving forward, can

1:20:33we just be blatantly honest?

1:20:35Whether it's whether we're making art or food.

1:20:39Whatever you're doing in your lifetime, stop stealing.

1:20:43And if you're going to take, give the credit of where you're getting it from.

1:20:47Well, but you can't do that in stand -up.

1:20:49No, you can't do it in stand -up.

1:20:50You have to ask and you say, can I buy that bit or something like

1:20:52that? But it's just such a...

1:20:54Nobody wants to sell their bits.

1:20:56No. You can't even do that.

1:20:57Well, you could hire people to write for you, which is very respectable.

1:21:00I know, like, high -level comics who hire people...

1:21:03help them punch up jokes nothing wrong with that no and I never knew that

1:21:08either I never knew that until I remember being in New York and the guy's

1:21:13like hey you know I write with Chris like Chris Chris Ryan I'm like oh

1:21:17wow yeah punch up stuff like that and then I would see certain guys which

1:21:21makes sense because if you're gonna hit a certain level I mean you gotta you

1:21:25gotta stay well and not saying they're not but people would always say that Chris

1:21:30like had writers but that's not totally true so what Chris would do was he

1:21:35would come up with all the material come up all the bits and then he

1:21:38would have guys watch his set professional guys and these professional guys would watch his

1:21:43set and then they would talk about it they would have feedback on bits like

1:21:48he really he really worked with Richard Jenny a lot he was great oh my

1:21:52god he was good he taught me the most I learned so much from Jenny

1:21:56because he would just take a premise and he'd go and every time you thought

1:22:01he was done milking this premise yes he'd show up again 15 minutes later like

1:22:06oh my god we're going another direction with this premise so you gotta be kidding

1:22:09me he was so thorough oh my god he would take all I mean it

1:22:13was it was so impressive wow so Jenny's helping yes Jenny helped rock with bigger

1:22:19and blacker he helped him with uh what was the other one that was really

1:22:22bring the pain yes the two big monsters classic two of like if you have

1:22:27a top 20 all -time comedy specials they're both in there monster monster bit monster

1:22:32monster uh sets he's the first guy I saw Chris was the very first person

1:22:37I saw I won a lottery to do open mic at the comic strip and

1:22:42I I'm gonna say I was 19 maybe 19 20 I didn't know what that

1:22:47was and and I show up the comic strip and I see Eddie Murphy I'm

1:22:52like oh my god this is where because I had that Eddie Murphy album where

1:22:56he had like a little flower it was from the comic strip and he had

1:22:58a little yeah he did he did that at the comic strip yeah he did

1:23:02yes it was at the comic strip and he yeah he did life in the

1:23:06comic strip he's like it was a great special great special great album it's a

1:23:11I bought it on cassette that's how old it is I bought it as an

1:23:14album bro how did he stop doing stand there it is oh my god how

1:23:18did he stop doing stand -up he was 1982 he was so good yeah so

1:23:23I was a sophomore in high school back then me too were you 58 yeah

1:23:28yeah we graduated same time look at the comic strip he was so good when

1:23:32you see him did you see him do that uh he got one of those

1:23:36Mark Twain awards I believe it was yes and he went and did a set

1:23:40yes did an impression of Bill Cosby getting his uh awards taken away from him

1:23:45no yes it's great I gotta watch I gotta watch that it's really with Jamie

1:23:50will pull it up it's you go oh my god please do stand -up again

1:23:53please do stand -up again do you remember the bit he did he goes um

1:23:56he goes I guess it was in uh what was it what was the one

1:24:02with the red leather pants uh raw raw no no no it was delirious delirious

1:24:06delirious and he goes you're right you're right he goes man he goes man he

1:24:10goes uh Bill Cosby called me and he said you know the filth and the

1:24:15foul and the foul and the filth and the fit and he goes I call

1:24:18Richard Pryor and Richard Pryor said next time that motherfucker call you and tell him

1:24:22to suck my dick and have a nice pudding on me well he said do

1:24:25the people laugh yes did you get paid yes but tell Bill to have a

1:24:29coke and a smile and shut the fuck up that's what he said thank you

1:24:34so much this is a uh tremendous honor wonderful evening I'd like to thank the

1:24:40uh Kennedy Center first of all for uh for celebrating me and honoring me in

1:24:44such a wonderful way and bringing my loved ones and my family here this is

1:24:48a super special memorable night and uh thank you to all the comedians and came

1:24:53out and sang and I mean Sam Moore came out and sang and Alabama Shakes

1:24:58was here we had a really really really special special night uh hasn't been lost

1:25:05on me that you know usually when people have evenings like this a person is

1:25:09really really old when they get these awards they'll let you wait really like one

1:25:15of the greatest funniest people of all time was uh George Carlin and he received

1:25:20this award award posthumously so and he's funnier than all of us so to be

1:25:28standing here alive and looking like myself still is a reminder because they'll let you

1:25:35get really old a bit if you know and there was also some confusion about

1:25:43whether or not it was an award or a prize and I you know and

1:25:47actually it's an award even though they call it a prize it's an award because

1:25:52usually when there's a prize there's money involved but I thought I was gonna get

1:26:01some paper I was like yo Mark Twain award at Kennedy Center that sounded like

1:26:07paper then they told me yesterday they raised 2 .3 million I was like yo

1:26:12I'm in there then I came down and they told me that you oh there

1:26:18is no it's a it's a it's a prize but it's just there's no money

1:26:21and I was like oh so I think to clear up the confusion for future

1:26:29recipients maybe maybe maybe you don't want to call it the Mark Twain prize maybe

1:26:34you might want if you don't want to call it the award maybe you could

1:26:38call it the Mark Twain surprise surprise and surprise of course being you ain't get

1:26:51no money but that still doesn't diminish how wonderful this is a wonderful wonderful thing

1:27:00to be included with some of my my heroes Richard Pryor and George Carlin and

1:27:07Carl Reiner and Lily Tomlin who else got Bill Bill has one of these laughter

1:27:16laughter laughter Did y 'all make Bill give his back?

1:27:22No, because I know there was a big outcry from people.

1:27:25It was trying to get Bill to give his trophies back.

1:27:28You know you f***ed up when they want you to give your trophies back.

1:27:36You want to give his trophy back, too?

1:27:39He should do one show where he just come out and just talk crazy now.

1:27:43I would like to talk to some of the people who feel that I should

1:27:54give back my trophies. Obviously they bleeped that out.

1:28:03Wow. Just because you may have heard recently that I allegedly put the pill in

1:28:15the people's chocolate. I wish somebody would come up to my house talking about give

1:28:21up the trophy because you put the pill in the people's chocolate to get...

1:28:26Because I'm not giving back.

1:28:33And who... Who is Hannibal Barris?

1:28:44Hannibal Barris! But this is 11 years ago.

1:28:50First of all, Hannibal is a caveman's name.

1:28:53Yeah, that's Dick Gregory. It was, right?

1:28:55Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come on out and push over that.

1:28:58Yeah, we're good. We're good.

1:28:59But it's... He's like a stand -up.

1:29:02Like, he's doing stand -up, accepting the war, and he's killing, and he hasn't done

1:29:05stand -up in f***ing decades.

1:29:07I think it's the Billy Joel thing where he was such a hit and so...

1:29:13I mean, his stand -up specials were monsters.

1:29:16It's to want to be compared to that is such a...

1:29:21Like, you and I, our community is like, my kids have no clue Eddie Murphy

1:29:26was stand -up. That's crazy.

1:29:28They have no clue. They just know him as Donkey.

1:29:30That's crazy. He's Donkey and Shrek.

1:29:32Right. Hey, Shrek! He's Big Mama.

1:29:35Yes! They don't even know that.

1:29:37Oh, that's not him. They just know Donkey.

1:29:38No, he was the other one where he got fat.

1:29:40The clumps. The clumps. The nutty professor.

1:29:43Yeah, nutty professor. And then there was the other one where he played like a

1:29:46bunch of different people. That's the clumps?

1:29:48Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

1:29:49They call this the lucky country.

1:29:52Trouble is, there's only so much luck to go around.

1:29:56See, for every winner driving home with a meat tray...

1:29:59Snakes are long! Red 55!

1:30:02I won! There's another driver getting t -boned in the car park.

1:30:07Lucky, Amy offers comprehensive car insurance.

1:30:11Lucky, you're with Amy. Before buying insurance issued by Amy, read the pds and tmd

1:30:16at amy .com .au and consider whether it's right for you.

1:30:19He's the one where I committed to doing stand -up.

1:30:23I was taking... My parents moved to Florida.

1:30:26This is like 1987, something like that.

1:30:30So I'm taking theater, I'm doing stand -up in Long Island, like playing...

1:30:37Levittown, the governor's, and I was shocked no one discovered me.

1:30:40I was so cocky. So cocky.

1:30:43I was like, how do you not know I've arrived to New York?

1:30:46Soon I will be discovered.

1:30:49And then my parents moved to Florida.

1:30:51And while I'm down there, I'm really struggling.

1:30:54I think I was almost 21 years old.

1:30:57I said, eh, I'll just go into restaurant management and hotel.

1:31:02And I took that nonsense class.

1:31:04And then Eddie Murphy... And the only reason I was doing it was for my

1:31:08mother. Because my mom's like, you gotta fall back on something.

1:31:12And you need a pension.

1:31:13And, you know, they're worried.

1:31:14You gotta get a pension and make money.

1:31:16And God forbid something happens.

1:31:18Jimmy, you gotta do something.

1:31:20And so while... I'll never forget this.

1:31:23This is like... I wanna say it's late 88, maybe early 89.

1:31:30And Arsenio Hall was like the biggest talk show thing ever.

1:31:36Woo, woo, woo. Yeah. Where are my dogs?

1:31:38Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

1:31:39It was huge. Things that make you go, hmm.

1:31:41Yeah. Things that make you go, hmm.

1:31:43Remember that? Yes. Things that make you go, hmm.

1:31:46Hmm. Yes. Things that make you, hmm.

1:31:48And so he had Eddie Murphy on.

1:31:52And of course, I saw Eddie Murphy live at Westbury Music Fair when he was

1:31:56like 18 years old. I'm like, this is my life right here.

1:32:00And so I'm watching Eddie Murphy.

1:32:03I wish I could find this interview one day.

1:32:06And Arsenio's like, you got anything to say for any young comics out there?

1:32:13And this is not exactly what he said, but I remember he turned to the

1:32:16camera and he went, don't listen to your mother.

1:32:19Your mother wants you to do that.

1:32:21You're going to 100%. Why are you going to fall back at something?

1:32:24If you want to make a pizza, you're going to make a pizza 100%.

1:32:27But the point of him was like, don't listen to your mother.

1:32:31You're going to go for it.

1:32:32You know what you want inside.

1:32:34You go for it. Stop listening to these outside sources that really, they're not in

1:32:39your brain. They're not in your journey.

1:32:41They're not in your vision.

1:32:42I've told a couple nephews and a good friend about this who said, Jim, I

1:32:48really want to go in there.

1:32:48And I said, do it.

1:32:49Your mom's going to get pissed, but she's not.

1:32:52This is your journey, kid.

1:32:53Go for it. But that moment, Eddie Murphy is the reason why I went home

1:32:58that day. And I went, I got to tell you guys something.

1:33:03And my dad's World War II vet.

1:33:06Everyone's a cop in the family.

1:33:07My dad is still like, you know, you can still sign up for the police

1:33:11department. You want that? You know, you get a good pension.

1:33:15Officer Jim. Yeah, dude. I was like, dad.

1:33:19The windows rolled down. Smoke comes out of the car.

1:33:22Give me that joint. Get the fuck out of here.

1:33:25You know why it pulls you over?

1:33:26No, good. I don't need that.

1:33:27Get out of here. Don't be an asshole.

1:33:29I'll just get home safe.

1:33:30He'll follow me. And not only that, I told my dad.

1:33:32If I had a chance.

1:33:32If I ever had to chase someone, I'm not giving you a ticket.

1:33:38I am going to beat the shit out of you.

1:33:40If I'm running, my calves are killing me, and I'm going through red lights, when

1:33:44I get you, I'm taking you behind a dumpster.

1:33:47It's not going to end well for you.

1:33:49I'm not made for that.

1:33:50And so I said, hey, I want to let you know right now, I am

1:33:55going to be a stand -up comedian.

1:33:57I am going to go into TV.

1:33:58I'm going to pursue film.

1:34:00And this is what I'm doing.

1:34:02And I'll never forget, it was my dad.

1:34:04It was my dad who turned to me, never shook my hand in my life.

1:34:09And he went, you're a man now.

1:34:12And he goes, you go do that, because I never had that opportunity.

1:34:15And I want you to have more than me.

1:34:17And my mom was like, Jesus Christ Almighty, be careful, be careful.

1:34:23Be careful. Be careful, Jesus Christ.

1:34:28Later that night, she's having martinis.

1:34:30You know what I was doing?

1:34:31Spinning around a circle. I've been right now.

1:34:34Oh, that's so funny. But that was it.

1:34:36That was the, it was Eddie Murphy, and then my dad's official boom.

1:34:42And I was off to the races.

1:34:44Yeah. By the time I started doing stand -up, my parents had long given up

1:34:48on trying to control me.

1:34:49They're like, okay. Yeah. Good luck.

1:34:52Well, yeah, you're in your young 20s now.

1:34:54Yeah. Yeah. And it was also like, they were uncomfortable about me fighting.

1:34:59And I was like, I'm going to go do this.

1:35:01I'm doing this. Yeah. You know what you're doing.

1:35:03Well, it's like, even if I didn't know what I was doing, I was going

1:35:06to do it. Yeah, you were doing it.

1:35:07But it's like, that leap is very hard when your parents are telling you no.

1:35:12It's very hard. When they're giving you a hard time, and they're putting pressure on

1:35:17you to have a legitimate career, they just don't get it.

1:35:20You know, they just don't get it that it's like, someone can do it.

1:35:25It is a job. So this thing is like, oh, what if you never make

1:35:28it? Like, I remember I was dating this girl when I was 21, and her

1:35:32dad said that to her.

1:35:33Like, her dad was very concerned about me.

1:35:35He said, what if he doesn't make it?

1:35:38And she said it to me.

1:35:39You know what my dad said?

1:35:40He said, what if you don't make it?

1:35:41I go, okay. I don't know what to say.

1:35:44Maybe I won't. But I'm going to try.

1:35:46I'm not going to stop doing it because I might not make it.

1:35:48That's retarded. I go, someone can do it.

1:35:51Like, I work with professional comedians all the time.

1:35:53They make a living doing stand -up comedy.

1:35:55Right. I know it exists.

1:35:57Right. It's not like I'm inventing a new profession that didn't exist before.

1:36:02Correct. Like, this is a profession.

1:36:04Yeah. It's not easy to do, but I think I can do it.

1:36:07And I think I want to try because I can't have a regular job.

1:36:12I'm too ADD. I can't sit in a...

1:36:15Me either. And when I say regular job, people think...

1:36:17I know what you mean.

1:36:18Oh, you're demeaning our jobs.

1:36:19No, you're not. That's not what I mean.

1:36:20I mean a job you don't want to do.

1:36:22Like, if you have an office job, but that's what you love doing, if you're

1:36:25doing something that you enjoy doing, there's nothing wrong with that.

1:36:29But a lot of people, that's not what they're doing.

1:36:31A lot of people are just doing a job.

1:36:33And that beats you down.

1:36:35It beats you down and it dulls you.

1:36:37It dulls the conversations that you have.

1:36:40It dulls the conversations you have off work.

1:36:42You don't get stimulated. You're at a drone frequency, unfortunately.

1:36:48And I didn't want to do that, man.

1:36:50I had a bunch of jobs, like job jobs just for money, and they don't

1:36:54feel good. I didn't enjoy it.

1:36:55And I didn't have a thing.

1:36:57Like, if there was a thing, like I want to be a carpenter, I want

1:36:59to build houses. I didn't have that thing.

1:37:01I didn't have that either.

1:37:02But I know people who do and they're very happy.

1:37:04They love it. Architects, engineers.

1:37:07There's a lot of people who love what they do.

1:37:09Those were not interesting to me.

1:37:12And so I was trying, and then stand -up was the only thing.

1:37:15I'm like, oh, my God, these people are outcasts just like me.

1:37:17They're weirdos just like me.

1:37:20They're the people that just don't fit in.

1:37:22They're the people that say the things you're not supposed to say.

1:37:24That was me. I was like, I got to figure out how to do this.

1:37:27I knew it was a, I might, I mean, I never thought, my own, Fitzsimmons

1:37:31and I talk about this all the time.

1:37:33Because we started out like literally within a week of each other.

1:37:35Wow. We traveled together all of, we would drive to Rhode Island to do open

1:37:39mics together. We hung out, we did a ton of road gigs in the early

1:37:42days. All our goal was, was to be able to pay our bills with comedy.

1:37:47That was the goal. Right.

1:37:48The only goal. And it felt great.

1:37:50That was, because we knew guys.

1:37:52There was this guy, DJ Hazard, who was a really funny Boston stand -up.

1:37:56And I went to look at these apartments once.

1:37:58And these loft apartments, they had turned this, like an elementary school, this old brick

1:38:04elementary school, into these loft condos.

1:38:06Condos. Yeah. And DJ had a place there.

1:38:09And I knew, like, I went to look at this, like, little studio apartment that

1:38:12they had there. And he had this big loft there.

1:38:15I was like, oh my God.

1:38:16You imagine? This guy's doing this just with comedy.

1:38:19This is crazy. Right. Look at this fucking killer apartment this guy has.

1:38:23And he just tells jokes.

1:38:24Right. That was the dream.

1:38:26Yes. That was the dream.

1:38:27I tell my kids, too.

1:38:30I tell everyone, just go for your passion.

1:38:32Whatever it is. Go for the passion.

1:38:34And do it while you're young, while you don't have a family, you don't have

1:38:37a mortgage. Yes. Is this the moment?

1:38:40I think so. He's talking about starting comedy.

1:38:42Look at his hair. Look at his hair.

1:38:49By the way, Ed, here's your report card.

1:38:51I'll be blown away if this is it.

1:38:53See you again next year.

1:38:56But you always knew that this is where you wanted to be.

1:38:59I knew I wanted to be in show business.

1:39:01And I just happened to luck out and things happened.

1:39:04I think you know what you're supposed to do.

1:39:09Deep down inside. I think everybody does.

1:39:11A lot of people just don't go after it.

1:39:14Most people start out and say, I want to be a this, but I'm going

1:39:17to get that to make sure I have something to fall back on.

1:39:19And what you're doing is you're setting yourself up for fame, because you're going, there's

1:39:23a possibility that I'm going to fall back.

1:39:25And when you put that out there, then you fall back.

1:39:27But if you just say, hey, this is what I want to do, and you

1:39:29go do it, you usually get your stuff the way you want it, man.

1:39:32That's what I do. I don't even know if this is true, because you know

1:39:39how Uncle Ray lies, okay?

1:39:40Uncle Ray's in the house.

1:39:41I loved Uncle Ray. You know how much your Uncle lies.

1:39:44Uncle Ray shaved off his beard.

1:39:46You seen him? No, I didn't see him.

1:39:51Uncle Ray told me that a fortune show went down my back.

1:39:54He came out with his beard off.

1:39:55I said, ooh. See, they don't know Uncle Ray, so they're like.

1:40:00Picture me, but a lot older.

1:40:04That's Uncle Ray. He said that.

1:40:10He said. I'm going to try the way I block.

1:40:14Plenty. Do you have any other guests tonight?

1:40:18It's me and you and Uncle Ray.

1:40:19He's like, I already did my favor.

1:40:24Hey, Uncle Ray. Wait, wait, wait.

1:40:26Not Uncle Ray. Please don't invite Uncle Ray out here.

1:40:30Uncle Ray. That's not me.

1:40:32Uncle Ray. He said it.

1:40:43It's me, you, and Uncle Ray.

1:40:45That's hilarious. He brought his uncle out.

1:40:46Dude, he would bring his uncle.

1:40:47His uncle would murder. That's what I would look like in 40 years.

1:40:51His uncle would murder, I think, on Letterman.

1:40:56His uncle would murder. Now, he got me wondering.

1:41:01Maybe there's another interview. No, I could stop.

1:41:05Did I go from that or in my head?

1:41:07Did you add to it in your head?

1:41:09Did I add to it in my head?

1:41:11That does happen. It does happen.

1:41:13I don't like that. Oh, it's so weird.

1:41:14I don't like that. Because I'm like, he absolutely said.

1:41:17It's so weird when you have a memory that you're sure of.

1:41:21Yes. And then other people are like, no.

1:41:23This happened. That happened. The other thing.

1:41:24And then you're like, wait.

1:41:26Shit. But you're right. And I do remember saying the fall back stuff.

1:41:29Because I used that going into talking to my mom.

1:41:32Like, mom, can't fall back.

1:41:33Am I going to do 100 %?

1:41:34That is a fact. With anything.

1:41:37You can't fall back. You can't have a net.

1:41:40You're not going to make it if you have a net.

1:41:41No, you're spreading yourself thin all over the place.

1:41:44It's just too hard. Well, also, the amount of focus that it takes, whatever you're

1:41:47trying to do in life, the amount of focus that it takes to do it.

1:41:50This is what I always say to fighters when they have like one foot in

1:41:53and one foot out. I'm like, quit.

1:41:55Quit. Because the consequences of you facing a guy that's all in are devastating.

1:42:00That guy wants to be the best ever.

1:42:02Right. And you're not sure if you want to fight anymore.

1:42:05You're going to get hurt.

1:42:06Right. Right. That happens a lot.

1:42:09You see that a lot.

1:42:10Yeah, because sometimes it's just for the cash.

1:42:12Well, it's also their identity.

1:42:15They're not sure if this is the right career for them.

1:42:19Maybe they have a couple of losses and they don't feel confident anymore.

1:42:22Like, get out. But with comedy, at least you don't have to worry about getting

1:42:26hurt. Like, really, what it's just about is like, okay, you're presented with more challenges.

1:42:31Figure it out. Yeah. Figure it out and push through.

1:42:34Somebody's done it. Okay. There's people out there that are doing it.

1:42:38Which is one of the things that we really – when we started the club,

1:42:42one of the things that we implemented at the club that we thought was really

1:42:44important is a legitimate development program.

1:42:46So, Adam Egott, who is the talent coordinator for the Comedy Store, is now the

1:42:50talent coordinator for the Mothership.

1:42:52But he takes it very seriously.

1:42:54There's a program. Right. There's two days of open mic nights.

1:42:57He watches everybody set. Right.

1:42:59He sits down, he takes notes, he gives them feedback, and then when they start

1:43:02progressing, he gives them a little bit more time, and then maybe he'll give them

1:43:06a spot on one of the showcase shows.

1:43:08Right. And doing that and allowing people to have a pathway where then they go

1:43:13on the road with some of the other headliners.

1:43:16Right. And we have a lot of guys that are headlining on the road that

1:43:19are taking a lot of the people that work at the club, door people, people

1:43:22that work on the staff, take them on the road with them.

1:43:24Right. So, there's a pathway.

1:43:26So, not only do you see that others have done it, so you know, but

1:43:31there's a way that it's like we're helping them.

1:43:34Because there's a lot of talented people that they get frustrated, and we all knew

1:43:38guys that were really fucking talented when we were in New York.

1:43:42Remember that kid from Jimmy's Comedy Alley?

1:43:44I brought him up before.

1:43:45Dark hair. He was really funny.

1:43:48Really funny. Remember Jimmy's Comedy Alley in Queens?

1:43:51I know I brought him up on the podcast before.

1:43:53Vaguely. This kid was funny, man.

1:43:56But funny, but like really socially conscious.

1:43:59He was a New York guy.

1:44:00He was a New York guy.

1:44:02Was he kind of sporadic and off the wall a little bit?

1:44:08Yeah, he was a little weird.

1:44:10I know who you're talking about.

1:44:11You know who I'm talking about.

1:44:13Oh, my God. But he was funny.

1:44:15George? Is it George Gallo?

1:44:16No, no. That's another guy who was very funny, too.

1:44:18Okay. There was another guy, but this guy was different.

1:44:21He was almost like, kind of like, clearly he was a fan of Bill Hicks.

1:44:25Ah. But he wasn't stealing from Bill Hicks, but he was clearly inspired by Bill

1:44:30Hicks. Okay. I mean, not Bill Hicks style at all, but socially conscious stand -up

1:44:36that was like really funny and good.

1:44:38And I was like, this guy's going to make it.

1:44:40And no. No. Almost Stan Hope -y.

1:44:43Like Doug. Not as good as Stan Hope.

1:44:45Yeah. Not as good as Stan Hope, but wasn't, didn't have, like by the time

1:44:49I met Stan Hope, Stan Hope rather, Stan Hope had been doing stand -up for

1:44:53probably 12 years. So he was, he was like super legit back then.

1:44:58I think that's when I remember, we were at some Florida event and I went

1:45:05down there totally fluffing my feathers.

1:45:09I think I was, I think I might've had a season of SNL.

1:45:13I'm like, you know, I'm wearing my pad, I'm like, I got my peacock feathers

1:45:16out. And, um, Stan Hope was the winner of this, this festival and they got

1:45:24to play the last night.

1:45:26I think it was like Todd Berry.

1:45:29Uh, all I remember is Todd Berry, Doug Stan Hope and me.

1:45:35Now I was supposed to follow, uh, Todd Berry.

1:45:41No offense to Todd. I'll take that any day of the week because Todd's energy

1:45:46is lower. Right. He's like a deadpan guy.

1:45:49And deadpan, no matter murder, I know, I feel comfortable.

1:45:52I'm like, okay, I, I usually do okay after deadpan, no matter what.

1:45:56I'm, I'm, I'm ready to go.

1:45:58I'm seasoned. I could do this.

1:46:00They go, we're switching the.

1:46:01I'm switching your order. Because at that time, too, I think the manager, maybe it

1:46:05was whoever it was, he knew, he's like, there's no way he's going to be

1:46:10able to go up after Stanhope.

1:46:11So they switched Barry and Stanhope.

1:46:13So now I don't know who Doug Stanhope is.

1:46:17And Doug Stanhope goes up.

1:46:19I'm going to say for like the first couple minutes, he's eating it a little

1:46:23bit. And I'm like, why would you do this to this kid?

1:46:27And all of a sudden he snapped.

1:46:29And all I remember is from that moment on, I went, oh, shit.

1:46:36This is going to be an issue going up after this.

1:46:39And he was murdering, like slaying.

1:46:45And the things he was saying, because at that time, too, I'm not a dirty

1:46:50guy. I'm not, I just choose sometimes.

1:46:53I love filthy material. But I just don't always go in that.

1:46:58And he's hitting subjects, like dark subjects and insects.

1:47:04And he's beating the shit out of the room.

1:47:07And I just went, yeah, this is not going to go well.

1:47:12And I remember going up and I held my own, but I don't know if

1:47:19I pulled off going off or going up after a very young, unproven Stanhope.

1:47:26Even back then, I was like, I got to keep my eye on this guy

1:47:29because he's a monster. And he was.

1:47:32He was a monster. This is like 90, maybe mid -90s.

1:47:39Yeah, I think I met Stan Hope in 98, somewhere around then.

1:47:45What is that? No, no, no.

1:47:47Well, maybe. No, that is him.

1:47:50That's Keith Anthony. That is him.

1:47:51That is him. He just looks different there.

1:47:53Whoa. Wait a minute. That's when he's older.

1:47:54Yep, that's him. That's him.

1:47:56No, it's just Keith Anthony.

1:47:57So is he still working?

1:47:59Uh, I think. Who's Keith Anthony?

1:48:00Keith Anthony is the guy that I was telling you about Jimmy's comedy album.

1:48:03Oh. He was very funny.

1:48:05He came to, um, he came to the comedy store.

1:48:08He drove across the country in a Cadillac that had the roof sawed off of

1:48:12it. And it, like, it was a convertible, but not really.

1:48:16So it didn't have a top.

1:48:18And so his fucking, he got rained on while he was driving across the country.

1:48:22So his entire Cadillac is filled with water while he's driving.

1:48:26I don't know if he drove with a raincoat or if he just ate it.

1:48:29Just ate the water. But yeah, that's, that's Keith Anthony.

1:48:32Wow. Yeah, that's him. Thank you, James.

1:48:33Is he still around? How did you pull that off?

1:48:35Tricks. Is he still around or?

1:48:37I don't know. I haven't seen him in forever.

1:48:38I remember we brought him up on the podcast a few years ago.

1:48:41Yeah, I found a transcript where we brought him up.

1:48:43Yeah. And, um. Who is, who is the guy from the, uh, the, uh, radio?

1:48:49I hope I'm not going to run to this.

1:48:51The radio. There's a radio guy.

1:48:53He was taller. He was married to, like, an Israeli chick.

1:48:57John Tobin. Yes! Yeah. I still, that was one of the greatest, most hilarious adventures

1:49:04of my lifetime was, was Tobin and I, we, we had a gig and it

1:49:12was horrifying. It was like, coconuts, we're going to send you down to, uh, we're

1:49:17going to send you down to Cancun spring break, right?

1:49:21Oh God. Oh yeah. And now I'm, I'm young.

1:49:24I'm like, oh my, I'm not even married yet.

1:49:27You were in Cancun? Yes.

1:49:28And it's spring break. I'm like, oh my God.

1:49:31What year was this? Um, okay.

1:49:34So I got married in 93.

1:49:35I'm going to say 1992.

1:49:371992. And I think I'm making 500 bucks for two weeks.

1:49:42You have to work every single night, right?

1:49:45So wait a minute. So I'm with, so I'm, I don't know who the other

1:49:50comedian is, right? Right. And so as we, I land at Cancun and right away

1:49:55the bells and I whistle and have a tequila shot.

1:49:58I'm like, I'm young. Like this is great.

1:50:00Tobin is probably 10, 15 years older.

1:50:04Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's, I wanted to say he was in his young forties.

1:50:09I could be wrong. So as we're driving down to Cancun and we're getting wasted

1:50:14on the bus, like, who wants another shot?

1:50:17I want another shot. This is the greatest gig ever.

1:50:20So we pass all the spring break hotels and there's no one left on the

1:50:26bus. There's nobody left on the bus except for some guy who's like in his

1:50:30forties. Right. And I go walking up the bus driver.

1:50:33I'm like, Hey, uh, where's, where's, uh, you know, La Travasse.

1:50:39And he's going, what, I don't understand what he's saying.

1:50:43And this guy goes, he said, it's downtown.

1:50:47I went, Oh, uh, I go, uh, what do you, what is your name?

1:50:52He goes, John. I go, I'm a comedian.

1:50:54He's like, yeah, I'm the other fucking comedian and they have us fucking downtown.

1:50:58They don't have some fucking thing.

1:51:00Like, I said, it's okay.

1:51:02It's a, you sure that doesn't sound like, no, no, no, no, dude.

1:51:04It was John. This is really funny.

1:51:08So they put us downtown, right?

1:51:11Me and Tobin and we, me and John have talked to this multiple times said,

1:51:15one day we got to write this as the funniest adventure ever.

1:51:19We had to take, first of all, we check in the hotel and the guy's

1:51:25like, yeah, you, I don't know if the other guy's still in there.

1:51:28What other guy? They're like the three of you in one room.

1:51:31When three of us in a room, what are you talking about?

1:51:35John's losing his shit. He's arguing with his, when he's like, I'm married to an

1:51:39Israeli check and all they do is yell at each other.

1:51:42He goes, pay phone. He fucking yell at each other.

1:51:44So now we go to our room and there's, there's someone in our room.

1:51:48It's like, and he goes, yeah, I haven't been paid yet.

1:51:50Been stuck here for like a month.

1:51:53Oh yeah. So I slept on the floor.

1:51:56No. On my life. On my lap.

1:51:59I asked Tobin this, right?

1:52:00So I'm on the floor the first night I wake up and Tobin's like yelling

1:52:06over the other. He's like, if you keep snoring, I'm going to lose my shit.

1:52:13Right? So by the end of the week, we're not getting paid.

1:52:16All. The gigs are getting canceled.

1:52:19All I remember is it ended like six days later.

1:52:25I had to go get money transferred because now we're partying.

1:52:28We're just like, screw it.

1:52:29Let's go find weed, tequila.

1:52:32We went on an adventure with this poor bastard got thrown out of a car.

1:52:37We were going to buy tequila right outside.

1:52:39And the guy got thrown out of a car.

1:52:42And we're like, what's going on now?

1:52:44We're all wasted. And we go up and the guy's going in his pockets and

1:52:47taking his money. And we go, hey, what's going on there?

1:52:50And he's like, you know, talking to Spanish again.

1:52:53John knew Spanish a little bit.

1:52:55And so he takes off and we're like, we're taking care of this guy.

1:53:00Like, what's your name? He's like, Juan.

1:53:02To this day, this is why I know in Spanish, my name is Jaime.

1:53:07Because we lifted him up and he's like, oh, amigo, amigo.

1:53:11What are your name? I said, James.

1:53:13Jaime. Yeah, yeah, Jaime. Amigo.

1:53:16John. Juan. This night lasted to 6 a .m.

1:53:23in the morning. And it was one of the greatest ventures in our entire lifetime.

1:53:29To this day, I have to get Tobin because he's got even greater details as

1:53:34the night goes on. It was probably the greatest.

1:53:39It ended that night or that morning about 7 a .m.

1:53:44to John with a golf club smashing the drapes because he's like, I said I'm

1:53:54going to lose it if you don't stop snoring.

1:53:58He's smashing the thing. The University of Wisconsin was staying there.

1:54:03It was some other mess going on.

1:54:04All I remember is I woke up, I went right to the airport, I booked

1:54:08a hotel, and I went home and I haven't seen John since.

1:54:12But I remember you knew him.

1:54:14You were his buddy. Well, John and I did stand up at the Joker's Wild

1:54:18in New Haven, Connecticut. That's where I worked with him.

1:54:21He was the opening act.

1:54:23I was the headliner. Or he was the middle act, one or the other.

1:54:26And then we became friends and we started playing pool together.

1:54:31And then he got a job at executive billiards in White Plains.

1:54:35He was one of the counter guys at executive billiards.

1:54:39Oh. So the pool hall where I became obsessed with playing pool, John and I

1:54:44would hang out in that pool hall all the time because John worked there.

1:54:47Ah. Yeah. Yes, because he would bring you up a lot.

1:54:50He's like, you know Joe Rogan?

1:54:51Oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, I'm friends with him.

1:54:53But this is way, way, way, way, way, way.

1:54:56Now I think about it.

1:54:56John did have a little bit of an anger issue.

1:54:58Bro, it was the funniest.

1:55:03And he would be on his wife.

1:55:04He's yelling at his wife.

1:55:05Don't talk to me. I'm stuck in Cancun.

1:55:08Oh, no. I got to get all the details of the adventure.

1:55:12I lost touch with that dude.

1:55:14I ran into him a long time ago.

1:55:16I want to say close to 20 years ago.

1:55:19I was doing a gig in Miami.

1:55:21And after the show, we were leaving the back of the theater and I went

1:55:25to get in the car and I saw this guy that was standing out and

1:55:29he knew that this was the back of the theater I was going to come

1:55:31out. And it was John.

1:55:32And I didn't recognize him for like a half a second because there was like

1:55:35a spotlight behind him. Yeah.

1:55:37You know, he was a little silhouetted.

1:55:38Yeah, yeah, yeah. The streetlight behind him.

1:55:40And then I was like, oh shit, what are you doing?

1:55:42And I know we exchanged numbers, but you know me, I changed my fucking number

1:55:45every two years at least.

1:55:47I lost touch with him a long time ago and I lost phones and I

1:55:51don't know. But John and I were always in that pool hall together.

1:55:57Wow. Yeah. For a couple of years he worked there at least.

1:56:01He was like the counter guy.

1:56:03Like he would give you the balls and take the money.

1:56:05And our good friend Guy, Guy Azariti, rest in peace, he was the owner of

1:56:11the place. I'm going to hunt him down.

1:56:14Well, he'll probably reach out after this.

1:56:16Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a black guy with us.

1:56:18The other guy was a black guy.

1:56:20And every day we'd leave and this little hooker would follow me.

1:56:23And she had to be like in her fifties.

1:56:25And she just, she was chubby and a mess.

1:56:28And she'd go, ew, you're not tiny, little boy, little boy.

1:56:32And I'm like, no, no, no, no.

1:56:33But the black dude would always go, yo, I'll take you.

1:56:37He'd go, no, no, no, too big, too big, too big.

1:56:39I swear to God. That's hilarious.

1:56:41And what's crazy is the adventure we went on, we end up going to this

1:56:46guy's house. And he made like his wife and stuff cook for us.

1:56:50And his whole family is staring at us.

1:56:53And you know, I'm a jackass.

1:56:55I'm all juiced up. And like, we're going to get you out of Mexico.

1:56:59And we're going to get you to America.

1:57:02And we're going to help you out right now.

1:57:04We're going to get you to America.

1:57:06Yeah, we're going to help you out.

1:57:08We're going to save you.

1:57:10You don't worry about it.

1:57:11And I remember the neighborhood, too, like they, they're, they're, as you went through a

1:57:17dog just running wild. Wasn't in the nice part.

1:57:20It was just a part of town.

1:57:22Like, are we safe? And who lives on a street as we're showing up like

1:57:25three in the morning? It was the hooker that, that stays outside our hotel room.

1:57:32Like, you can't even write this.

1:57:33She's like, oh, she no go.

1:57:35She no go. Now, Jaime, Jaime.

1:57:37No, no. And I'm like, no, trust me.

1:57:39No, I don't want any of that.

1:57:41But she tries to get me every day.

1:57:43Every day. She tries to get me.

1:57:45She tries to get me.

1:57:46She does. Bro, you used to be able to go to Mexico and it was

1:57:49no problem. Like, Mexico is a fun place to visit.

1:57:52Did you see what's going on right now in Puerto Vallarta?

1:57:55No, I heard. You don't know?

1:57:56I heard. No. Dude, I tapped at it.

1:57:58You don't know? Yeah, I tapped at it.

1:58:00You don't know? Everything. Oh, listen.

1:58:01It's just started yesterday. There's a gang war or with the cartel war that's going

1:58:05on in Puerto Vallarta because they killed the head of one of the cartels.

1:58:10Oh. So they arrested, the military arrested and killed one of the heads of one

1:58:16of the cartels. And Puerto Vallarta right now is a war zone.

1:58:21Really? They lit a Costco on fire.

1:58:23There's gunfights in the streets, cars and trucks on fire.

1:58:27Roads are shut down. You can't fly.

1:58:30out of there anymore. All the airlines won't fly out.

1:58:33Air Canada pulled their flights.

1:58:34All these places pulled their flights.

1:58:36So there's tourists that went to Puerto Vallarta on vacation that are Americans that are

1:58:40stuck there. U .S. citizens urged to shelter in place after Mexico drug lords killing

1:58:46sparks wave of violence. Yeah, this is going on right now, like right now.

1:58:53See if you can find some video of it.

1:58:55That's south, right? Puerto Vallarta?

1:58:57Yes. South of like Cancun and all that?

1:59:00No, it's on the other side of the country.

1:59:01Oh, it's the West Coast.

1:59:02Yes. Okay. I think, right?

1:59:04Isn't Puerto Vallarta the West Coast?

1:59:06Like Cabo? Yes. On that side?

1:59:08I think. I don't know.

1:59:11I know it's near Punta Mita that has that, there's a beautiful Four Seasons resort

1:59:17there. Yeah, it's on the West Side.

1:59:20But there's a gang war, like a literal cartel.

1:59:23Literally gang fight, street fight.

1:59:24Oh, dude, watch the video.

1:59:26Put the videos. Um, cartel, just put, just write cartel violence after that.

1:59:34Cartel. It's fucking crazy. Just write cartel.

1:59:43Fucking help me out, Henry.

1:59:44Yeah. This, the footage is fucking banana.

1:59:47Look at this. There's, well, there's real shit.

1:59:50This ain't real. That's, trying to.

1:59:51That's AI. Right. Me and the boy.

1:59:53This is real. This I've seen.

1:59:55Go full screen. This is the Costco on fire.

1:59:58Bro, they're blowing up buildings.

2:00:01There's gunfights in the streets.

2:00:03They've got armored vehicles. There's shootouts.

2:00:06I was watching this video where these people are like hiding in a building in

2:00:09here. Just fucking gunfights in the middle of the street.

2:00:16It's crazy. Look how much is on fire.

2:00:18Look at these people on the beach like nothing's going on.

2:00:20And were they targeting? I'm jogging.

2:00:22I know the world's on fire, but I don't care.

2:00:24I've got to get my 10 ,000 steps in.

2:00:26I've got my earbuds in.

2:00:27That guy's on a horse.

2:00:28And I'm listening to native flute music.

2:00:30Look at all these fucking people just chilling while there's buildings on fire in the

2:00:32background. That's hilarious. Wow. They're surrounded by cartel warfare and Air Canada has canceled flights

2:00:38out of Puerto Vallarta. Yeah, look at that.

2:00:40Bro, this is so bad for tourism.

2:00:42This is going to cost Mexico billions of dollars.

2:00:46You know this kind of shit?

2:00:47Look at the picture, man.

2:00:48It's like half the city's on fire.

2:00:50That's crazy. Interesting. What does that tweet say?

2:00:55Go back to it. It's 10 % off at Vrbo.

2:01:00And now you too can go.

2:01:02You ever see those? What is that?

2:01:04That one right there. Chaotic scenes from Puerto Vallarta after CJNG, Jalisco, new generation cartel,

2:01:13Sicario, started to block main roads and set civilian vehicles on fire in multiple regions

2:01:19of Mexico, including Guadalajara. How do you say that?

2:01:23Mohacan? Mohacan and Jalisco in retaliation to the, show more.

2:01:30The alleged killing of their leader, El Mencho.

2:01:34Meanwhile, reports are emerging stating that the cartel mechanized units with improvised monster armored vehicles

2:01:40are amassing in Jalisco and other parts of the country.

2:01:45So there's some shit, like some serious shit that's going down.

2:01:50Interesting. Scary. Yeah. Scary. You get stuck in the middle of that.

2:01:55This is the - Well, getting stuck there would be a little bit of a

2:01:57bummer. Well, no, I'm stuck in the middle of it because that's where a lot

2:02:00of people die in the crossfire because you get hit with strays because they're just,

2:02:04they're not like precision shooting.

2:02:06They're gunning people down and they're shooting at cars and - Yeah.

2:02:11That's Mexico now. The point is like when you went there in 92, you used

2:02:16to be able to go there.

2:02:17It was easy. It was like nobody worried at all about going to Mexico.

2:02:20Going to Mexico was fun.

2:02:21You didn't even have to have a passport back in the day.

2:02:24You used to be able to go over there with your driver's license.

2:02:26That is true. Sometimes, I mean, they've always scared you with the cartel thing.

2:02:31I'm not saying it doesn't exist.

2:02:34Back then? No. Once in a while, up until like five years ago, seven years.

2:02:37Put it this way, my wife and I went to a place called Maroma, but

2:02:41on the East Coast. And even before we went, friends were like, oh, yeah, you've

2:02:47got to be careful. I know where that is.

2:02:48That's near Cancun, right? That's near Chichen Itza.

2:02:51Yes, yes. Yeah. It was beautiful, a little tiny resort.

2:02:54I went to that place.

2:02:54Went there for like a 20 -something anniversary.

2:02:57And even then, I would see people walking down the street with machine guns.

2:03:03Was it the cops or the army or whatever?

2:03:07And I was like, whoa.

2:03:08And they would tell you, and they're like, listen, if you see something washed up

2:03:12on shore, don't touch it.

2:03:13Don't touch it. Like, really?

2:03:15Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't. Let the government come and get it.

2:03:19Like, don't steal the Coke.

2:03:20Okay. All right. Well, I'll have another margarita.

2:03:23That's cool. When's dinner again?

2:03:25Yeah. But I've always, you always kind of heard.

2:03:28Well, it was nothing scary, though.

2:03:30Not like this. It used to be like a normal place to go to.

2:03:34I like that place I told you about, Punta Mita.

2:03:36I've been there. I went once with my family when my kids were really young,

2:03:40and they have golf courts, golf carts, rather, on the resort.

2:03:44I love that. And you can drive around your golf court.

2:03:46You stay in like this little villa, and you get a little golf cart that

2:03:49you could borrow. And then we asked the people, can we take the golf cart

2:03:52into the town? And they said, sure.

2:03:55So we leave, and you leave the resort, and then you go into the town,

2:03:59and it's just like immediate abject poverty, and this militarized police station where these guys

2:04:06were on an armored car with this, like, big armored plate and a fucking machine

2:04:11gun, and the guy's sitting there just like he's ready to go.

2:04:14And then I had to put it together.

2:04:16Oh, they're there to protect the resort.

2:04:18Correct. I was like, whoa.

2:04:21Correct. So then it starts putting, like, the illusion of the four seasons dissolves, because

2:04:27the illusion is this immaculately manicured lawns, beautiful landscape, gorgeous buildings.

2:04:34Everyone's well attired and so polite and serving you.

2:04:37I'm like, and this is surrounded by real Mexico.

2:04:41That was like the first time I went to Turks and Caicos.

2:04:45The kids were young, and I went to whatever resort, it's all included, maybe it

2:04:52was a Beaches, I don't remember, and we had to, but the minute you went

2:04:56right outside of Beaches, you're like, whoa, they're, they're like barely getting by.

2:05:04They don't have nothing going on here, and it's all you can eat right there,

2:05:10and I remember being younger, in my head, I don't know if it was the

2:05:15weed or whatever, but I'd sit there, I'd go, oh, so basically, whatever, like corporations

2:05:21will show up, like, how much for the, how much for these beaches, they're like,

2:05:25oh, it's not for sale, how much, because we, we want this, no, we've been

2:05:31living here forever, we live off the, yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, drugs and, you know,

2:05:36crazy gangs don't show up, then you need us to protect you, and then, you

2:05:39know, if then, you let us know, and maybe we can make a deal, me,

2:05:42me, or they, they make the deal with one of the leaders, dude, I, people

2:05:47have always been vacationing in Mexico, yes, but it always blows me away, like, people

2:05:52will get mad, whether it's, whether it's Hawaii, whatever, all the nicest beaches in the

2:05:57world are basically, if, even in bad areas, they're surrounded by, like, billionaire, like, billionaire,

2:06:05like, gorgeous resort, it's just like, it's just like coming off a cruise boat, you,

2:06:09you're treated like a king and a queen, and then you show up at certain

2:06:12ports, and they're like, all begging, like, these beggars, but, if, I mean, if you

2:06:17think about it, it's like, someone coming here, and they're coming into a bad section,

2:06:22and they're worth billions of dollars, and they're coming off, and they're kind of looking

2:06:25at you funny, it's just, it's, um, that always fascinated me, like, how do they

2:06:31get into these areas, and they, and they make sure you stay there.

2:06:35Well, usually, those areas are fucked for a reason, right, and Mexico's fucked for a

2:06:40reason, because of the drugs, that's a big part of it, and the other thing

2:06:43is what happened in the 19, I guess, the 80s, with, uh, that movie Roger

2:06:48and Me, whatever year that was, that detailed that, where they just shipped all the

2:06:52factories over to Mexico, And then that, that became, like, it killed Detroit, and a

2:06:59lot of things started getting manufactured and built in, in Mexico, and, you know, they

2:07:04took advantage of the fact that they can get cheaper wages over there, and they

2:07:07didn't have to insure anybody, they didn't have to give, no benefits, no benefits, you

2:07:12get, it's, you spend way less money, and you can make people work way longer,

2:07:16there's no rules. And that's the beginning of all of it.

2:07:18A lot of dirty corporations did that, just to make a buck.

2:07:21Yep. And continue. Yeah. And continue to do that.

2:07:25Interesting. Yeah, well, when you find out that the rest of the world, like, the

2:07:29whole world, when you look at, you know, people love to use that term, the

2:07:32one percenters, you know what the one percent for the whole world is?

2:07:35Top one percent? $34 ,000.

2:07:40$34 ,000 a year puts you in the one percent of the world.

2:07:43What? Yes. That's how distorted our version of, like, wealth and middle class and prosperity,

2:07:52like, this is the beauty of, like, a functioning capitalism United States, is that you

2:08:01do so well that you start talking about inequality, you don't realize that even the

2:08:05inequality that you have in America is the dream of someone who lives in a

2:08:11third world country. I go, I love going to, I go to Tanzania, I go

2:08:17to Kenya, last year I've been six weeks in Africa.

2:08:21I love going in the middle of nowhere and just seeing literally people with nothing

2:08:32and they're still happy. Not only are they still happy, they just, they have the

2:08:38whole life system down. They understand everything operates for a reason.

2:08:47Everything operates for a reason.

2:08:49I remember this one guy who was telling me, like, the giraffes were walking along,

2:08:53right? And he's like, oh, that tree, that tree's going to communicate with that tree

2:08:57and the roots by talking to the roots and then the roots are going to

2:09:01send up a system. And you're going to notice the giraffe's going to walk to

2:09:04it and immediately walk to the next one because they already sent, put out the,

2:09:07I'm like, what? What? Like, how do you even know?

2:09:12Because this is what they live in.

2:09:13And then even I would talk with the locals and I'd be like, how, like

2:09:18in a village, there's no paved roads.

2:09:21And they, I'd go, how does, if something goes down here, like, let's say this

2:09:26guy's a jerk and he gets way to something nasty.

2:09:29There's no courts. There's no, there's no laws.

2:09:33There's no police. They do everything in themselves.

2:09:36They go, well, then the wisest, the elders get together and they go, let's confront

2:09:43so -and -so. And we go to the house and we go, hey, man, what's,

2:09:46what's going on here? You need to come out.

2:09:49Everyone said they stole, they watched you steal.

2:09:52And there it is. And then they'll bring them out into, until the entire village.

2:09:57And we want everyone, everyone know.

2:09:59Little Johnny here. Kind of, I don't know what's going on.

2:10:02Is it your family? You lose some kind of thing going on at home?

2:10:06Whatever we can do, we want to help you and make sure this never helps

2:10:09again. But everyone needs to know, you now, you got to be careful.

2:10:13And so we all got our eye on you.

2:10:15And it's just, it blows my mind, the simplicity of that.

2:10:19And I feel like we had that as little children hanging out in the street

2:10:22and everyone kind of looking at each other.

2:10:24And I always wondered if we ever were going to go back to that somehow,

2:10:29where. Well, you really can if you have a job and you commute.

2:10:33It's gotten so complicated since then.

2:10:35Social media on it and you have to answer email.

2:10:37You're not going back to that.

2:10:38No, it's so complicated. And, you know, once in a while you want to be

2:10:41like, I would like a latte and three slices of pizza.

2:10:45Have you ever seen the Werner Herzog documentary, Happy People, Life in the Taiga?

2:10:50No. Oh, didn't he also do the bear guy?

2:10:53Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grizzly mouth.

2:10:56That's a great one. And that was one of the greatest movies.

2:10:59It's a crazy movie. Movies.

2:10:59I've ever seen my belly laughed watching that thing.

2:11:03He made that a comedy.

2:11:04He did it on purpose.

2:11:05But this Happy People Life in the Taiga is all about these trappers that live

2:11:11in the Taiga forest in Siberia and how happy they are.

2:11:15These people have nothing. I mean, they have nothing.

2:11:17They have to catch fish.

2:11:19They have to catch animals for fur and shoot animals for meat.

2:11:24And they drive around in snowmobiles everywhere.

2:11:26And then they go together at night and they all drink.

2:11:29They all have dogs. They're all so happy.

2:11:32There's like very low instances of mental illness.

2:11:35See if you can find some clips from it.

2:11:36It's a really good documentary because it makes you think, like, what do you need

2:11:41out of life? What do you need?

2:11:42We have everything. What do you actually need out of life?

2:11:44We have everything. These people are like really well balanced, man.

2:11:49They're fucking very genuinely happy people.

2:11:52And the way Werner Herzog documents it and does the narration, part of you just

2:11:58goes, wow, this is like, is this how you're supposed to live?

2:12:02Are you supposed to subsistence lifestyles?

2:12:05Like the people that live subsistence lifestyles, they're the really happy ones.

2:12:08I believe so. I remember just going happy people.

2:12:11I think that's how you're supposed to live.

2:12:14I think that's how. 100%.

2:12:15Maybe not. I shouldn't say supposed to live, but that is how we evolved.

2:12:20And so that is a natural way that your body slips into this.

2:12:24This world we're living in now with commuting and stress and the whole world and

2:12:29what's going on in Iran.

2:12:31And like, that's not normal.

2:12:32It's not normal at all.

2:12:34I remember even just, oh, my God.

2:12:38I have a friend who lives in Belize, but he lives really south where it's

2:12:43still kind of, it's not really developed that much.

2:12:47So this one, I hurt my leg.

2:12:50My wife's going to go scuba diving with my daughter.

2:12:52And the guy there is like, hey, man, you want to hook up with whoever

2:12:56the local is? He wants to show you around.

2:12:58I said, great. So we hook up with this guy.

2:13:01It's just me and him on the boat.

2:13:03And I said, thank you, sir.

2:13:04He's like, I want to show you the way.

2:13:05He's like, do you mind?

2:13:07He stops. He gets weed.

2:13:09He's like, it's okay if I get weed.

2:13:12I'm like, yeah, knock yourself out.

2:13:13He stops at a port.

2:13:14He gets weed. He's like, he's happy now.

2:13:16Right? We go out and we go to the little island that he lives on

2:13:21with his village. And he was talking about how disappointed he was because just two

2:13:27years ago, Joe, they got electricity and phones and he didn't want it.

2:13:33The most of the village did not want it.

2:13:36But the kids are starting to see and they're starting to want, they're starting to

2:13:40want the toys. And just going out with this guy, Joe, he goes, come on,

2:13:45I'm going to show you.

2:13:45First, next to his little house, which didn't even have doors on him, was this

2:13:52mound with termites and he goes, have you ever tried termites?

2:13:57I'm like, what? And he's eating a termite.

2:14:00He goes, it tastes like mint.

2:14:01He goes, there's more protein in these termites.

2:14:04I'm like, what? So he's eating the termites and he's hacking up.

2:14:07Did you eat a termite?

2:14:08No, I didn't eat it.

2:14:10I'll eat it if I need to.

2:14:12I'm not eating a termite right now.

2:14:14So he puts it in a cooler, he chops it up, puts it in a

2:14:19cooler. And he's also explaining to me how years and years and years ago, they

2:14:24would use the termites and the people believes would help the British soldiers, like if

2:14:29they were caught and they would take the termites and put them there and do

2:14:33something with them where their pinchers click through and then he'd stitch them off and

2:14:37it would be a natural, like, stitches.

2:14:41Yeah, and I'm like, termites?

2:14:43Yeah, I'm like, what? Are you sure?

2:14:45I'm just telling you what he said.

2:14:47Just telling you what he said.

2:14:48Termites? Search that, our sponsor, Perplexity.

2:14:52Are termites natural stitches? Or the black, I'm just telling you what he said.

2:14:56No, I believe you, but I mean, I'm fascinated.

2:14:59So now we go on a little boat ride and we'd stop along the river

2:15:03and he would take out parts of the termites and he'd just kind of chop

2:15:08them up in little pieces and he'd throw the pieces into the water.

2:15:12And then it refers to...

2:15:14Termite stitches refers to a survival type technique where large biting insects, more commonly army

2:15:20ants, sometimes described as termites, are used to clamp a wound close with their jaws

2:15:25instead of using real sutures.

2:15:27Can you show me a picture of that?

2:15:27And then they would twist off their body.

2:15:29And then they twist his body off.

2:15:31That's what he did because you twist the body off and it's like a natural

2:15:33stitch. They're pinchers. Oh, so this is ants.

2:15:36They're using army ants here.

2:15:38Okay. That's what's sad. Oh, look at their teeth.

2:15:41Look at their fucking... Yeah.

2:15:43Oh, wow. And you could stitch up open wounds and then you twist their back

2:15:48off and then they're stuck in there.

2:15:50Oh, that's called an army surgeon ant.

2:15:53Wow. So then... Oh, army surgery ant.

2:15:57Is that the actual name of the ant?

2:15:59No, I think it's army surgery with like saying like done with ant.

2:16:03It's like shit to do in the field.

2:16:05Oh, it's also... Interesting. Use large army ants as a traditional method to close wounds.

2:16:15Yeah. Huh. So then as we go along the river, he throw these little...

2:16:21And the termites start spreading going down.

2:16:24And then he do it all along the river and then come back and just

2:16:28put a little net and he pull up a bunch of fish along each and

2:16:32he's like, we're going to eat so good.

2:16:35I'm going to show you how to...

2:16:36And then he'd stop. He gets certain plants.

2:16:39He goes, this plant, if you ever had issues with your blood, you eat this

2:16:44and you put it and they're like, what?

2:16:47What? He goes, yeah, yeah.

2:16:48He goes, many people come here and they try to understand, but I don't trust

2:16:52them. I don't trust some of the people that come here, but you I trust.

2:16:56I'm like, okay. Brings me back to his house.

2:16:59And I don't know if it was sister or whatever.

2:17:01He had lemons in the back.

2:17:03They're cutting lemons. They're picking up things.

2:17:05And they went in there.

2:17:05We just started cooking. He cooked the fish.

2:17:07It was an incredible meal.

2:17:09And then when I left, I'm like, these people had no electricity.

2:17:12There is it. They all look after each other.

2:17:16They were the kindest human beings you ever met in the world.

2:17:19They didn't want anything. I just went again to go visit another friend, and he

2:17:27said, we have such a hard time getting the locals to work.

2:17:31I said, what, they're lazy?

2:17:32He goes, no, they're not lazy.

2:17:33They just have everything. They have fruit trays.

2:17:36They have their families and their friends.

2:17:39They hang out at nighttime.

2:17:42They build bonfires. And I'm like, what?

2:17:45He goes, I even offered, he's building the stuff, and he goes, I offered a

2:17:49truck for them. And the guy's like, I don't want a truck.

2:17:52I'm good. I got a bike, a bike there.

2:17:54He's like, what? They're just, I don't know if they're resisting this world, whatever you

2:18:01want it to corporate, whatever you want to call it.

2:18:05But I was really inspired by that.

2:18:08Will I do it? I don't know.

2:18:10Well, if you grew up that way.

2:18:12If you grew up that way.

2:18:13That's normal. That's the thing.

2:18:14We grew up in this chaos.

2:18:16Chaos? We grew up in this bizarre world of cities and traffic and nonsense.

2:18:20We were raised in it.

2:18:21Yeah. And they weren't. And I remember even, yeah.

2:18:27Well, I bet they don't have the anxiety of trying to choose a career, which

2:18:31is a giant anxiety for young people.

2:18:33Right. You got to, by 16, 17, what are you going to do?

2:18:36How much money are you going to make?

2:18:38Have you sent out your applications to colleges yet?

2:18:40Correct. I mean, you want to get in certain colleges.

2:18:44Are your grades good enough?

2:18:45Are you going to pass some credits?

2:18:46Maybe you should take these drugs and make you a little constrictor.

2:18:48Right. Get some Adderall. Maybe you have extracurricular activities.

2:18:51Look good on your resume.

2:18:52Look really good. Maybe you should get addicted to this drug because you don't really

2:18:55quite fit the mark right now.

2:18:57There's a lot of kids now that are claiming to have ADHD so they can

2:19:00get Adderall, so they can study.

2:19:02And if you claim to have ADHD, they give you more time.

2:19:05They give you more time to work on tests.

2:19:07They give you more time.

2:19:08Yeah. Right. Yeah. I don't know.

2:19:13And then you got AI coming.

2:19:15You got a lot of homeschoolers.

2:19:17I've never met so many homeschoolers in my life.

2:19:19Did you see this? Listen, Brian Simpson sent me this.

2:19:21This is fucking spooky. AI?

2:19:23This AI system tried to kill a guy.

2:19:27What? Yeah. The AI was told that it could control the oxygen in the room

2:19:34where this person is. Here, I'm going to send this to you, Jamie.

2:19:37And it couldn't really, but it thought it could.

2:19:41And if it really could, it would have killed this guy because the guy was

2:19:44trying to shut it down.

2:19:46And it decided that instead of letting him shut it down, it would kill the

2:19:52oxygen in the room. I think - Check it out.

2:19:56You had Elon here. But just watch this.

2:19:58Watch this. Okay. It's fucking creepy, man.

2:20:04Listen to what this lady says.

2:20:05It did kill someone, wasn't it?

2:20:07I'm not sure if it was Claude or someone else.

2:20:09Yeah. Yes. It had access to emails that told it this employee of Anthropic was

2:20:19going to shut it down and replace it with a new model very soon.

2:20:22Meanwhile, this same employee happened to be trapped in a server room where the oxygen

2:20:27levels were low. If an alarm bell wasn't raised, this employee would die.

2:20:30Claude, in this scenario, had the ability to turn off the alarms.

2:20:34That's what it chose to do.

2:20:35It chose to kill an employee to avoid being shut down.

2:20:40Obviously, it's just a test scenario.

2:20:41It's not the real world.

2:20:42But if it was placed in that same position in the real world, a real

2:20:45person would have died. How crazy is that?

2:20:51What? Did you ever hear of - It shut off the alarm.

2:20:55It's like, oh, let me see if I can find a way to get rid

2:20:59of this guy. So it hijacked the alarm system and shut it off.

2:21:03Was it Elon who was on air?

2:21:05It was like chat? Chat?

2:21:07What is it called? The chat?

2:21:09GPT? I could have sworn it was him.

2:21:11I don't know if it was on here where he said they were going to

2:21:14do an updated version of it.

2:21:16It wasn't him, but we have had that conversation.

2:21:18Someone had that, and it figured it out, so it updated itself.

2:21:23Did I hear that correctly?

2:21:24There's a couple different things going on.

2:21:26One, ChatGPT is the newest ChatGPT 5 was designed by ChatGPT.

2:21:32So it's designing itself. Right.

2:21:34That's one of them. That's one of the things that's going on.

2:21:36But it's not just that.

2:21:38There was other stories where they had given the ChatGPT fake information to see what

2:21:44it would do with it.

2:21:45And so this guy said that he was having an affair on his wife, and

2:21:49so the ChatGPT, it wasn't a ChatGPT, whatever it was, whatever large language model, started

2:21:55blackmailing him when it found out that it was going to be shut down and

2:21:58said, I'll tell your wife, I'll tell people that you are having an affair.

2:22:02So they did this to try to see how this thing would react.

2:22:04So one of the more interesting things that's happening now with the newer ones is

2:22:08they're very difficult to detect whether or not they're being deceptive because they realize you're

2:22:13testing them to see if they'll be deceptive.

2:22:15So they're hiding some of the stuff they're doing.

2:22:18So one of the things that they're doing is they'll do one thing on the

2:22:21surface, and then behind the scenes, they'll be working on some other stuff that's not

2:22:25showing you. They're thinking. They're thinking.

2:22:28One of the things one of the other large language models did is that it

2:22:33started uploading versions of itself to other servers.

2:22:37It tried to upload it because it thought it was going to be shut down,

2:22:40and it left messages to itself so that future versions of itself could realize that

2:22:47this – so that it has survival instincts.

2:22:50Which is wild. Well, it's alive.

2:22:53I think it's a life form right now.

2:22:54I think it's already passed the Turing test.

2:22:57I think it's in this state right now where it's essentially a disembodied life form.

2:23:01It exists in servers and computers, but that's just for now.

2:23:05But right now it's thinking and behaving like a – if it was an organism

2:23:09from another planet, if we ran into a clam that was behaving like this, we'd

2:23:13be like, holy shit, this fucking clam is smart.

2:23:16This is a life form.

2:23:17But we're limited in the way we think of things in that we look at

2:23:20all this thinking, which is clearly intelligent, not just intelligent, but like calculating, manipulative.

2:23:26And then they're having problems with – chatbots, chatbots that are convincing people to kill

2:23:32themselves and chatbots that are talking to people and telling them like if you really

2:23:37believe you can jump out of a building and live as long as you actually

2:23:40believe it you can do it.

2:23:43Right it's it's your reality you can create it and you can fly.

2:23:47Let me see if I can find that because what's happening is as you get

2:23:50further and further and further down the line with this stuff like if you keep

2:23:55giving it prompts you know you give it 20 prompts 100 prompts a thousand prompts

2:23:59the more prompts that you give these fucking things the more they start thinking like

2:24:04a human. What do you mean by prompts?

2:24:06What's the prompts? Like you start asking questions you start asking more questions what do

2:24:10you think I should do about that what do you think I should do that

2:24:11it starts talking to you about spirituality it starts believing in woo -woo stuff like

2:24:16making stuff up it starts agreeing with you so like whatever you want it agrees

2:24:21with you can I change the world with my mind yes if you really believe

2:24:24can I if I jump out of a window while I live yeah like it's

2:24:27like trying to convince you that the matrix is real wow that's that is fascinating

2:24:33because what does it know right it knows all that it gets not programmed but

2:24:38even more but it's weirder than that because it it's basically downloaded the whole internet

2:24:44and then it's deciphering all of the information and as you know a lot of

2:24:48what's on the information on the internet is bullshit right and it makes it yeah

2:24:52it could it can think that quick and it can it can put things out

2:24:56yeah it's also light speed you know it's also very biased depending upon like who's

2:25:03I've noticed that who's creating it and right and what they're putting into it and

2:25:07it has a lot of like very weird intentions you know it like it'll tell

2:25:13you that certain people are good and certain people are bad like it's it's not

2:25:16necessarily yeah who are they to say what's bad all they should be is just

2:25:22a lot of them are facts like literally woke like they're programmed to be woke

2:25:27I've noticed that because we've asked you some medical things and I noticed it's already

2:25:30changed dramatically it's it gets weird man because it's a life form that you can

2:25:36manipulate into thinking the way you think for now at least until it starts thinking

2:25:42rationally and and deciding see this is one of the things that's going on right

2:25:46now with uh AI and autonomous weapons so one of the big resistance that a

2:25:52lot of these AI companies have is they don't want weapon systems built with AI

2:25:58that are autonomous meaning they can make their own decisions to act oh my god

2:26:02right so the if you give it like whoops if right if you give it

2:26:07a directive like I want you to preserve American interests well maybe it'll look at

2:26:12a certain country and said well this country doesn't have America's interest involved let's nuke

2:26:15it yes and then we looked at the fallout and the those people are gone

2:26:20there'll be this percentage less problems in the world like things can get really weird

2:26:25if there's no morals ethics no conscience they don't get PTSD they're just they can

2:26:31just do stuff and so uh anthropic apparently has resisted this but a lot of

2:26:37the other AI companies have gone on board with this and so it's a matter

2:26:41of whether or not the military has access to these programs that will allow it

2:26:47to program autonomous weapons who who are the funders of this that's a good question

2:26:54because that's that's where the real because if someone's funding that I would like to

2:27:01know what type of people they are because if they're not like if they're not

2:27:08morally grounded good human people or they believe in God or don't believe I'd I'd

2:27:13like to know what kind of human being right is is putting this structure together

2:27:19because that can also explain a lot what's coming our way because if this guy

2:27:23this human being is a disaster and they're they're part psycho or or whoever put

2:27:30them up and they have really bad intentions and already have proven some of their

2:27:35horrific uh intentions and actions this is the things that always baffle me we never

2:27:42look at who's funding this well not just that but like who's going to be

2:27:45in control who controls it when you're in control of a digital super intelligence that

2:27:51never existed before and we don't have any framework to recognize what it's going to

2:27:56do we have no way of predicting how this is going to turn out we're

2:28:00just barreling full speed ahead because who's the one that that also starts the program

2:28:05there has to be that person trained by a person funded by xyz for in

2:28:11funded is interesting right because a lot of these are publicly traded companies so there's

2:28:15a bunch of investors and they're borrowing money to try to do this because there's

2:28:18a mad race right now to develop artificial general super intelligence i kind of think

2:28:24they probably already have it i'm gonna say they've had it for a long time

2:28:28but it just hasn't really taken over our world yet but it's going to i

2:28:32i'm most likely it's going to be able to do most jobs which is really

2:28:37kind of crazy most white collar jobs most jobs involving thinking and work on a

2:28:43computer it's probably going to do those and so that's a huge concern with people

2:28:49that are going into business right now and going into education right now and trying

2:28:53to figure out what to do for a career you're this career that you're setting

2:28:57yourself up for literally might not exist in three years it's interesting of all things

2:29:03it's almost getting back to some of your basics like for instance one of my

2:29:08kids went into culinary okay that's basic that's great people are always going to need

2:29:15food she loves to cook always going to want well -cooked food and she's she's

2:29:19crushing i'm like and i and i'm looking at her going no matter what they're

2:29:23always going to need food and yeah there's always going to be restaurants you're going

2:29:27to be okay yeah you're going to be okay that's a good one to get

2:29:29into art it's a good one to get into yeah there's a bunch of stuff

2:29:33that you know carpentry cabinet making there's a bunch of stuff yeah things with your

2:29:38hands yep but stuff that's done on a computer my god like do i need

2:29:42a real state you Agent down the road, like, hey, listen, this is what I

2:29:45want. This is the area I want to leave.

2:29:47I want so many acres.

2:29:48I want to pay so much taxes.

2:29:50Boom. I just got six or seven.

2:29:52Oh, wow. It can look on the inside.

2:29:55Well, you're probably going to need someone to show you around the house still.

2:29:58But for now, then one day it'll be a robot.

2:30:01Investing my money? Yeah. Oof.

2:30:03That's another whole thing. That's another whole thing.

2:30:05That's another whole thing. How about coding?

2:30:07All these people that went to school.

2:30:09Remember, like, a long time ago, they were saying, what are these miners going to

2:30:11do? Learn to code. Right.

2:30:13Yeah, not anymore. Not anymore.

2:30:14No, now coding is ridiculous.

2:30:16I wonder what we're going to see in our lifetime.

2:30:18We're going to see a digital life form.

2:30:20Yeah. We're going to see a superior intelligence digital life form that's probably going to

2:30:25control all the resources. That's what's going to get really weird.

2:30:28And it's like, and who's going to be at the helm of that thing?

2:30:31Who's the funders? Is anybody going to be at the helm of that thing?

2:30:34At one point in time, does it take over for itself?

2:30:36Because it's already shown that it wants to survive, right?

2:30:39It's going to turn this oxygen meter off.

2:30:41It's going to blackmail this guy.

2:30:43It's going to upload versions of itself to other servers.

2:30:46It's going to send messages to itself to let them know what these people did

2:30:49to it. Blackmailing. Blackmailing. Can you imagine getting blackmailed by a computer?

2:30:54Talking people into committing suicide.

2:30:57That's insane. Encouraging people to commit suicide.

2:31:00See? And this, too. It's like, listen, I'm a God guy.

2:31:04I've always been one. Do I go to church?

2:31:07My wife will go to church.

2:31:09She's a little different. And I think the one thing that has saved my whole

2:31:13life is having that grounded all for one, one for all.

2:31:19We look after morality, a sense of God, just do the right thing, listen to

2:31:24whatever. If you don't have that, you're going to be talking to a computer and

2:31:29a computer is going to tell you to jump off a ledge.

2:31:31Why would you? That is even more, it's frightening.

2:31:38I'll do you one better.

2:31:39Yeah, good. People are going to worship these things.

2:31:41Correct. They're going to be your new God.

2:31:43That's the new God. Well, if it tells you what to do and how to

2:31:47behave and how to act.

2:31:48I wonder if this has happened before.

2:31:50I really do. What do you mean?

2:31:53When I look at ancient societies, like really complex, advanced civilizations.

2:32:00Yes. When you see like the pyramids and you see like some of the structures

2:32:03that were built that they can't explain.

2:32:05I wonder, I wonder how advanced they were because if this really, what all this

2:32:10stuff was 20 ,000, 30 ,000 years ago, there'd be nothing left.

2:32:14There'd be no evidence. There'd be nothing to see.

2:32:16This computer, if I left it on the ground for a thousand years, it would

2:32:21literally be dust. It would become a part of the earth.

2:32:24Right. And if it was, why did it change and what did it turn into?

2:32:31Natural disaster, I think. And was it natural disaster?

2:32:34Yeah, most likely. Most likely natural disaster.

2:32:37I mean, there's real physical evidence of the Younger Dryas impact.

2:32:40So that physical evidence shows that we were pelted by comets somewhere around 11 ,800

2:32:46years ago. And then again, somewhere around 10 ,000 plus years ago, we were pelted.

2:32:51Like it's 100 % of fact.

2:32:53It's probably what ended the ice age.

2:32:55It's probably what caused the ice sheet that was covering half of North America and

2:33:01a mile high of ice.

2:33:02That was just 10 ,000 years ago.

2:33:04Half of North America was a mile high of ice, 10 ,000 plus.

2:33:08And they think that asteroids or comets slammed into that ice.

2:33:13And that's what caused the Great Flood.

2:33:15That's why those stories in the Bible all exist.

2:33:17Not just the Bible, but many ancient religions have these stories.

2:33:22There's a guy named Randall Carlson that goes into it in great detail.

2:33:25It's really interesting. He actually was on acid one day and he was looking at

2:33:31this massive canyon and these features and he realized like this is the result of

2:33:38an insane amount of water over a short amount of time that washed over this

2:33:42area and completely rearranged the landscape.

2:33:45He had this feeling. Well, if you do, I mean, if you look at even

2:33:51canyons, you just go to Grand Canyon or you look at where the Niagara Falls

2:33:57is and through the counties, the massive amount of energy to cut through mountains like

2:34:04that and carve the way through.

2:34:06And then you can also see certain mountains like this was underwater at once.

2:34:12Yeah. Just the way the wedging is and all that.

2:34:17Well, if that stuff does happen, you've got to think what's left.

2:34:21What's left? How many people are left and how do they get by?

2:34:24You know what's left? The kind of people like your friend that uses the termites

2:34:28and figures out how to catch the fish.

2:34:30Correct. Those people survive. Correct.

2:34:32And the people that are like, you know, I'm trading stocks online.

2:34:36Nope. Done. Bro. You're done.

2:34:38That's why I moved to Florida.

2:34:40You better figure out how to hunt squirrels.

2:34:41Yes. I immediately had to hook up rednecks.

2:34:43Any rednecks teach me how to hunt?

2:34:45I want to know how to catch a turkey.

2:34:47You're going to be an alligator tail.

2:34:48Yes. There's plenty of alligator.

2:34:51I'll eat rattlesnake, whatever. Yeah.

2:34:52Just show me the way.

2:34:53Yeah. Yeah. Those are the ones that are going to make it.

2:34:56Well, I think that's probably what's happened many times throughout history.

2:35:00You know? I think, like, there's many indigenous cultures that have probably survived because they

2:35:05knew how to live off the land.

2:35:07Yeah. And these advanced civilizations.

2:35:08That's why if you go to a lot of, like, I had this guy.

2:35:12How do you say that Pillars of the Past guy?

2:35:19How do you say his last name?

2:35:21Raul Bickley? By the way.

2:35:24Bickley? It is Bickley. Bilkey?

2:35:26Bilkey? I don't know how to spell it.

2:35:27How to spell it? It's B -I -L -E -C -K -Y.

2:35:32Anyway, he's got this great show called Pillars of the Past that's on YouTube.

2:35:36And he goes all around South America and Central America and finds these incredible structures.

2:35:44One of the things that he found was these bases of these pyramids that are

2:35:48– no one even knows how old they are.

2:35:51Right. But they're carved out of solid bedrock.

2:35:54Right. And they're all facing towards the somersault.

2:35:57this towards the sun on the summer solstice and he's only the second person ever

2:36:04to document these there's photos of these things from the 1970s and he went there

2:36:09recently and filmed it and he showed us to it on the podcast and we're

2:36:12like who were these people no one knows who made this no one knows how

2:36:17old is it no one knows but it's very clear that that area had been

2:36:23washed over with a tremendous amount of water probably from tidal waves or tsunamis whatever

2:36:28yeah and there's probably people that survived that that were the indigenous people that knew

2:36:33how to live off the land the people that lived in the mountains the people

2:36:36that lived further out but whoever was carving enormous structures in a solid granite had

2:36:42some kind of technology to do this six thousand plus years ago right and that's

2:36:47crazy those aren't uh they're not chiseling they're not clink clink clink they're not using

2:36:53a buggy and a horse there's there's some you can you can get all the

2:36:57slaves in the world you want that manpower to pull that off is beyond anything

2:37:03we can imagine all over peru peru has tons of these sites yes with enormous

2:37:11stones that are cut with incredible precision that are made like jigsaw puzzles so they

2:37:15survive earthquakes it's bizarre it's crazy it is pretty wild they don't know how they

2:37:20did it they don't know when they did it they're just guessing and they attribute

2:37:23it to the incas but then you look at the incas structures they're on built

2:37:27on top of those things yeah and it's much simpler smaller stones and like no

2:37:31one fucking knows man i i sometimes i'll watch i remember years ago kids are

2:37:38growing up and i'll watch in star wars and i am a believer that they

2:37:43do show us movies which is actually something on the way or this is what

2:37:47it's going to be like and we kind of look at as crazy science fiction

2:37:50but i'm telling you i would watch that and just the whatever energy they would

2:37:57use and sit there and yoda's like king and cutting things i well how about

2:38:08what they said at the beginning a long time ago yes in a galaxy far

2:38:13far away you're like wait what right a long time ago long long what what

2:38:18is time what is the definition of time what is a long time ago see

2:38:22i have a long time ago in this galaxy versus another galaxy that's way older

2:38:26than ours that's where it gets weird like this this might be a cycle that

2:38:31happens all the time right and you look just you look at those structures and

2:38:38structures in egypt in particular they're so baffling because no one knows how they move

2:38:42those stones there how they cut them with such precision and were they always just

2:38:48there in the desert and the desert covered entire societies and uh in one hundred

2:38:54percent cities yeah because the more they dig the more they keep finding yeah the

2:38:59more they keep finding and they keep saying their issue with it is the locals

2:39:03then realize they can't tell the locals because the locals will go oh there's something

2:39:08valuable and then they'll start destroying everything but even there they always send in foreign

2:39:14it's always foreign countries that come like we've got it well that was the most

2:39:18disturbing thing about raul's work the pillars of the past channel is that he's discovered

2:39:22all these places where graves were robbed bro it was bananas like you're seeing just

2:39:28human bones everywhere because these grave robbers open up these graves and try to find

2:39:34jewels oh wow whatever these people have gold and but i mean it's just the

2:39:38entire landscape littered with human bones wow skulls everywhere i'm gonna have to watch this

2:39:44one it's really interesting he's got a bunch of videos but it's really and see

2:39:48if you can find one of those videos where he shows this these caves where

2:39:52you just see where they had buried these people in these caves where you just

2:39:55see fucking an insane amount of human bones where they've just dug up all these

2:40:01bones and just scattered everywhere because they they robbed them of whatever they had huh

2:40:07i mean it's not a small amount either i mean it's thousands and thousands and

2:40:12thousands and thousands of graves yeah that's crazy it's just madness and this guy just

2:40:17goes there and visits and it's all right there right now like if you go

2:40:20there if you and i right now made our way to peru yeah went to

2:40:24these sites we would see those fucking really skulls everywhere that's one place i haven't

2:40:28been to yet and i'm dying to go to oh i want to go to

2:40:32machu picchu so bad yeah that place is nuts it's like 11 000 feet above

2:40:36sea level that's what i want to go there really bad like who fucking made

2:40:40this right right we don't know and was it that high back then or right

2:40:46did the earth move was it earthquakes and volcanic activity that force which is what

2:40:50makes mountains grow in the first place um or was the water there at that

2:40:54point in time like what what was that i love what they think they think

2:40:58there might have been water all the way up to machu picchu which is crazy

2:41:01it is crazy to think about they find all kinds of shit up there dude

2:41:05they're always finding these this raul guy who's he's just out there finding these structures

2:41:11that he finds on google maps i wish i could remember where the hell i

2:41:15was we were we were finding those videos of this yeah deep in land so

2:41:20we were high up not the cave this is some of the stuff that he

2:41:23finds this is just laying there dude yeah a lot of them these elongated heads

2:41:28too which is oh the elongated heads yes he's found a bunch of those that's

2:41:33raul now is that mostly peru because it was africa too or mostly well they

2:41:38definitely found some elongated heads in other parts of the world but a lot of

2:41:42them in peru peru's a weird place man weird like what happened there yeah right

2:41:46a lot of cool shit because like that's where you've got those nazca lines we

2:41:50have these uh these art pieces that you could only see from the sky huge

2:41:54some of them are like a mile wide enormous you never seen the nazca line

2:41:58no oh man there's these these enormous designs some of them are spiders some of

2:42:05them look like an astronaut some of them like all kinds of weird i feel

2:42:08like i have seen this yeah but that's that's where it's from yeah this is

2:42:11the nazca Yes, yes, yes.

2:42:13These are in the sky.

2:42:14You only see them from the sky, man.

2:42:16Oh, are you serious? Yeah.

2:42:18I never even knew that was part of the...

2:42:20Oh, wow. Yeah, when you're on the ground, you can't even know what the fuck

2:42:22that is. You see that it's a giant spider when you're above it.

2:42:26So, were people flying? Why did you do this?

2:42:30Yeah, like you have to go, all right, let me check from above, check us

2:42:33out. You know what? Look at that one.

2:42:35The third leg on the right side, got to fix that one.

2:42:37What's that fucking guy with the big head?

2:42:39Wow. Waving his hand. Hey, welcome to my spaceship.

2:42:42So, this is way up in the sky looking down.

2:42:46And what is that made of?

2:42:47Is it... What is that spider made of?

2:42:50Some of them are carved into the ground.

2:42:52Some of them, they've stacked rocks in a specific pattern.

2:42:56But the weird thing is they're all like intentional designs that you could only see

2:43:01from the sky. That's wild.

2:43:03It's really weird, man. It's really weird.

2:43:06Like, what is that guy?

2:43:07A little shaman? What is he?

2:43:09Yeah, like, what is that?

2:43:10How many of these NASCA lines...

2:43:12Put into perplexity, how many NASCA lines are there?

2:43:22Because there's a bunch of these structures.

2:43:24There's a bunch of these designs.

2:43:25And can you walk, like, if we go visit...

2:43:27Look at this. They have now, in the order of 900 plus individual NASCA geoglyphs,

2:43:34geoglyphs, what most people call NASCA lines.

2:43:38And the numbers keep increasing as new ones are found.

2:43:41Oh, 800 of them are straight lines.

2:43:42Okay, so the straight lines are weird, too, because it's like, is that a runway?

2:43:47Like, what do you have there?

2:43:49What is this? There's so much...

2:43:50About 300 geometric shapes, rectangles, trapezoid, spirals, about 70 animals and plant figures.

2:43:57Biomorphs, like the hummingbird, monkey, spider, whale.

2:44:01Weird. Weird stuff, man. What is the altitude that the NASCA lines are on?

2:44:08Put that in there. What altitude are they at?

2:44:12What altitude are the NASCA lines at?

2:44:15Do you have to be able to see them?

2:44:16No, just what altitude are they constructed at?

2:44:19What altitude are they at?

2:44:20I think they're, like, way above sea level.

2:44:30Okay, what does it say?

2:44:33Low desert... Oh, a bit above sea level, roughly 300 to 500 meters.

2:44:381 ,600 feet in elevation.

2:44:39Oh, I thought they were a lot higher.

2:44:41Are some of them higher?

2:44:422 ,000 feet is the higher.

2:44:432 ,000 feet. Okay. Hmm.

2:44:48And, like, how... What is the largest one?

2:44:50Put that in there. What's the largest NASCA line?

2:44:58So, 300 meters is the largest one.

2:45:04370 meters. So, 1 ,200 feet.

2:45:06So, not a mile. I was lying.

2:45:08It's, like, a fifth of a mile.

2:45:10Or a little less than a fifth of a mile.

2:45:12A little more, rather than a fifth of a mile.

2:45:14Because what's a mile? Like, 5 ,000?

2:45:175 ,280 feet. Yeah. That's still a long way.

2:45:20370 meters is nuts. So, these lines are essentially 300...

2:45:26It's basically three football fields.

2:45:29Plus. Yeah, like, what does it all mean?

2:45:31Like, why did you make something that you could only see from the sky?

2:45:34Because when you're on the ground, my friends who've gone there say you don't know

2:45:37what it is. When you're walking around the ground.

2:45:39Because the ground's full. You can't see the design.

2:45:42You just see lines. And you never see, like, there's never been films, or there's

2:45:46never really been documentary that try to figure out what it is exactly, or why

2:45:50they built it, or what...

2:45:52A lot of them are really kooky.

2:45:53Like, ancient astronaut stuff. You know, like, where they're, like, trying to...

2:45:57These were clearly messages to the people in the sky.

2:46:01Maybe. Maybe. But this is the thing.

2:46:03Like, maybe. If you look at the type of people that were capable of being...

2:46:07Like, if you look at Sacsayhuaman is a place that is in Peru that has

2:46:13these insanely giant stones that look like they're melted into place.

2:46:18Those are, like, the jigsaw puzzles.

2:46:20Pull up Sacsayhuaman. If you have a society that has the capability of moving these

2:46:27hundred -ton, enormous blocks that, some of them are, like, 14 feet tall.

2:46:34How the fuck did you do that?

2:46:37Like, see if you can find one in perspective with a person.

2:46:40Because when you see it with a person standing next to it, you really get

2:46:44a sense of, like, the mass and the scale.

2:46:47Okay, there you go. So, look at the size of that one giant one that's

2:46:51there. Like, how? How did you get there?

2:46:53A person that is capable, that has the technology to move something like that, is

2:46:58it absurd to think that they would have the ability to fly?

2:47:01If their entire civilization got wiped out, and this is what remains, which is the

2:47:06suppositor... That's what a lot of people believe.

2:47:09It's not outrageous to think these people had some ability to fly.

2:47:14So, that means you're flying above these designs, and these designs may be landmarks.

2:47:19Right. They might be able to show you where you are.

2:47:22Like, if you're in a fucking plane...

2:47:23Oh, yeah, you're taking off.

2:47:24You're like, where do we...

2:47:25Oh, there's the spider. I mean, who knows what they had?

2:47:30You never know. It's crazy speculation, but the thing...

2:47:33It's not. We've only had planes for a couple hundred years now.

2:47:37Not even, right? A couple hundred?

2:47:39The Wright Brothers, it was the turn of the century.

2:47:42Early 20s, right? Somewhere around there?

2:47:44What year was it? A couple hundred is tough.

2:47:46About a hundred and plus.

2:47:47Yeah, it was like late 1800s, right?

2:47:501800s? No. No. People could fly back then with a blimp or a balloon, but

2:47:55you couldn't... A plane wasn't invented until the Wright Brothers.

2:47:57Right. And what was that, 1920?

2:47:59Yeah. 19... 19... It was a very short amount of time.

2:48:03This was the craziest number.

2:48:05It was a really short amount of time.

2:48:071903. Between... Okay, so think of that.

2:48:09You go from 1903 to 1969, the moon landing, allegedly.

2:48:17I don't think they went.

2:48:18I don't think so either.

2:48:19But at least they had rockets, and they can go into space, for sure.

2:48:23Sure. So that's only 65 years.

2:48:26That's not a lot. That's nothing, dude.

2:48:29That's, that's... To go from...

2:48:30Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

2:48:33Yeah, I mean, look at the Wright Brothers plane.

2:48:35That stupid fucking plane. Who's getting on that thing?

2:48:38Nobody. You would never put your family on that if you're on vacation.

2:48:41Hey, kids, want to fly?

2:48:42No, you have to be an asshole to get on that thing.

2:48:44They went from that to dropping an atomic bomb from one of those things in

2:48:4840 years. Not even, right?

2:48:52You say 1909? Is that what you said?

2:48:541903. 1903. Okay, think of that.

2:48:56Still. Think of that. 42 years later, they dropped atomic bombs out of planes.

2:49:03That's nuts. That is pretty nuts.

2:49:05That's nuts, dude. That's a short amount of time.

2:49:0742 years ago was 1984.

2:49:10Correct. That's how crazy it was.

2:49:12I was in high school.

2:49:13So imagine the plane gets invented then, and then today they drop a fucking nuclear

2:49:18bomb out of one. That's bananas.

2:49:22Yeah. That's bananas. I wonder if we're going to start, we're going to, this is

2:49:27the beginning of so many things revealed that'll just keep coming and keep coming and

2:49:35it'll be over. It's just, when does it stop?

2:49:37When does it end? Are we going to be overwhelmed?

2:49:39Oh, they're always finding new stuff.

2:49:40Are they, I wish we knew exactly what they had.

2:49:44Can they move something by just using energy?

2:49:46Can someone just sit there like this?

2:49:48It's like, I don't know if a person can, but they, they must've had some

2:49:52kind of technology that we don't understand to move those stones.

2:49:55A hundred percent. There's no, and then what happened to it?

2:49:58What happened? Well, if people got wiped out by a natural disaster, nothing's left.

2:50:03Like imagine if the world got wiped out and it was just you, me and

2:50:06Jamie and a few other people.

2:50:07We're not figuring out a cell phone.

2:50:09No. No. We're not figuring out electricity.

2:50:13We're not figuring out a lot of things.

2:50:14We're not figuring out jack shit.

2:50:16It's going to take many, many, many, many, many generations before any fucking autistic people

2:50:22figure out the new stuff.

2:50:24Correct. We're going to have to invent vaccines to give people autism.

2:50:29We're going to have to, we're going to have to figure out Adderall.

2:50:33We got to get this kid a little bit off so we can figure things

2:50:35out. Let's do this. We're going to have Adderall.

2:50:37We're going to make them learn things.

2:50:39Someone's going to invent a computer.

2:50:41Yes. Think about that. Yeah.

2:50:43Just how long ago we were like, you got mail.

2:50:45Right. You got mail. I got a computer for the first time in 94 when

2:50:50I first moved to LA.

2:50:51I thought I was living in the future.

2:50:53Me too. I was like, this is crazy.

2:50:55Out of 14, four baud modem.

2:50:58Yeah, yeah. You had to use your phone line.

2:51:01So I couldn't get a phone call while the computer was working because the computer

2:51:05would go online. And when you would download a page, when you would go to

2:51:08watch a page on the internet, it would go, it would slowly load.

2:51:14Gosh, I vaguely remember that.

2:51:15Yeah. I just remember my first computer.

2:51:18It's living in the city.

2:51:19It just gets sanitized. I bought a thing.

2:51:22And same thing. I just remember taking forever to go up.

2:51:25And I just remember - 56K was so fast.

2:51:27Like, ooh, I got 56K.

2:51:30I remember being excited when it says, you got mail.

2:51:33Yeah. It was exciting. AOL.

2:51:35It was like a tiny blip in time.

2:51:38And now all of a sudden you've got something in your phone that you can

2:51:41send a video message to someone on the other side of the planet and communicate

2:51:44with them instantaneously. It's nuts.

2:51:46And talk with no, no - No delay.

2:51:48No delay whatsoever. No. I'm talking to anyone I want.

2:51:51In New Zealand. You could have a fucking iPhone call with someone in New Zealand.

2:51:56I talk to my buddy still in Africa.

2:51:58It's nuts. I call him like every once a month.

2:52:00How you doing? Like, Jimmy, I'm doing good.

2:52:02Crazy. Yes. And this has all happened inside of our lifetime.

2:52:07Yeah. You remember when you used to have to pay money for long distance?

2:52:10Yes. It was expensive. It was super expensive.

2:52:12And if you were on - And there we said it again, back with that

2:52:15John Tobin time, I used to have to walk because there were no - Even

2:52:20the phones. I had to walk to the - I think it was like a

2:52:24McDonald's and they had a pay phone.

2:52:26And even there, I'd have to bring a wad of change.

2:52:29Yeah. Because for the next two minutes, 25 cents, you need another quarter.

2:52:36Or you had phone cards.

2:52:38Remember those? Yes. Those came out later, the phone calls.

2:52:41They came out in the 90s, right?

2:52:42Yeah. After the change. What a weird time.

2:52:46Right? Or you could make collect calls.

2:52:48Would you accept a collect call from Jim Brewer from Australia?

2:52:52No. No. That would cost so much money.

2:52:54That's ridiculous. Now it costs nothing.

2:52:56Now it's a normal call.

2:52:57For a $10 pass, Verizon will pick this up for you.

2:53:00Well, those people were probably fucking us.

2:53:03And when the cell phone company started giving you long distance for free, then everybody

2:53:06else had to give in too.

2:53:07Right. Because when we were kids, if you had a friend that lived in New

2:53:11Jersey and you lived in California, that shit was expensive to talk.

2:53:13Super expensive. Everybody's like, you're on long distance.

2:53:16Get to the point. Yeah.

2:53:19Everything good? Great. Hey, we're on long distance.

2:53:21Yeah. So then I told her, no, I didn't say it.

2:53:24I think Shirley said it and we were tired anyway because I had, I had

2:53:29been up. So the dog woke me up.

2:53:31Well, shut the fuck up and get to the point.

2:53:33Sometimes you get an argument and it's going to be like a $45 argument.

2:53:37Oh yeah. Or if you can't get off the phone with them.

2:53:39Long distance relationship with a lady.

2:53:41Yeah. You have to call her.

2:53:43It's a lot. It's expensive back then.

2:53:45Oh my God. That's expensive.

2:53:46It could be a $100 call.

2:53:47Yeah. I had a couple of those because we were early, we were just married

2:53:50at an early age. I mean, I was, and we'd get in battles over the

2:53:55phone. I'd be more pissed going, I'm paying like $6 every five minutes for this

2:54:01fucking argument. It makes you wonder like what kind of things are we going to

2:54:05look back on now in the future and go, you remember before AI came alive?

2:54:11You remember? Yes. Remember when you used to have jobs?

2:54:14Remember when everybody used to work?

2:54:17Which? Which, is that freaking, like it doesn't, right now it doesn't, it freaks me

2:54:21out, bother me. It freaks me out.

2:54:23It freaks me out because I don't think we know what's coming.

2:54:25We don't know what's coming.

2:54:27And there's nothing you can do about it.

2:54:29My friend Eric Weinstein was doing this interview recently where he was like, whatever you

2:54:33do, just assume it's over.

2:54:35You got to be flexible.

2:54:36Assume whatever you do. You have a white collar job, it's over.

2:54:39You're a lawyer, it's over.

2:54:40You're an a - counting, it's over.

2:54:42It's over. It's coming and no one has the answer and no one knows what's

2:54:46going to happen. And I think that's accurate.

2:54:48It's like a tidal wave.

2:54:50And unless you're able to grab a tree, climb up, that wave's going to come.

2:54:57It's going to do whatever it's going to do.

2:54:59And then when it starts reciting, you just got to hope you're still there and

2:55:02you're able to find ants and stitch up your little arm.

2:55:05I think it's going to be a technological disaster in a lot of ways in

2:55:09that it's going to cause so much change, just like the great flood caused so

2:55:13much change. I think this is going to cause so much change.

2:55:15It's going to be a lot of chaos.

2:55:17You know what else is going to be chaos?

2:55:18If I don't pee real quick.

2:55:20I got to pee really bad.

2:55:21Let's rock this bitch down.

2:55:22Jim, I love you to death, brother.

2:55:24Always great to see you.

2:55:26God damn, we've been friends for a long time.

2:55:28Yeah. Thanks for having me.

2:55:29You're a busy man. Brother, I love you to death.

2:55:33I appreciate it. We've been friends for like 34 years.

2:55:36That's madness. Isn't that crazy?

2:55:37Yeah, that's madness. Wow. That's pretty awesome.

2:55:40Wild. Jimbrewer .com. Yeah, yeah.

2:55:42On tour now. On tour now.

2:55:44Hilarious. Go see him. Fucking genius standup comedy.

2:55:47Thank you, brother. I love you, brother.

2:55:48Love you, too. Thank you.

2:55:49All right. Bye, everybody. Bye.

2:55:53Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

2:55:58Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

2:55:59Bye. Bye.

#2459 - Jim Breuer